Yep, another scary-accurate one. Man, the guy who writes these must be psychic, eh?
Your Stripper Song Is |
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Closer by Nine Inch Nails “You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I’ve got no Soul to tell” When you dance, it’s a little scary – and a lot sexy. |
What Song Should You Strip To?
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What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a repeat offender.
Chewbacca, a Wookiee listing his occupation as “co-pilot,” is the prime suspect in a sexual assault on the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe which took place during the long-awaited and star-studded premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the illustrious Kodak Theatre.
…Chewbacca … sexually assaulted … Marilyn Monroe … in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then evaded arrest, police said.
According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress’s hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists…
Hey, now that I think of it, just exactly what was he trying to perform, and how much will tourists pay to see that?
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although her backup consists of a costume party themed “Hollywood Hookerdom.” If you replaced the slutteriffic satins and fishnets with torn B.U.M. Equipment sweats and GWG cutoffs, this could be any day in my neighborhood, actually. The girls around here don’t need to try so hard.
I suppose it’s only natural if your video is directed by the equal parts nutty and fabulous David LaChappelle, but seriously, what is it about retro-fab hookers that gay men find so fascinating?
Still: at last a justification for that ridonkulous beehive.
via Perez Hilton whose site loads sooo much better since it got attacked. And yes, that is “Ain’t no mountain high enough” that the song reminds you of. Cuz they stole the melody!
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There goes the last of my childhood heroes. All I can say is, wow, that must have been quite the party. Can’t wait for the first grainy cellcam footage to show up on YouTube.
Actually, who am I kidding? Nancy had a stick up her ass the size of the Washington Monument. Trixie Belden was the cool one.
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Surely no nation ever had a better incentive; in a world of readily available international travel and corrective lenses, pure-blooded Brits are in danger of dying out altogether.
For good reason.
Now, that font of all wisdom the Sun has revealed the solution, and the odds are it lies within your easy grasp, if you happen to be reading this blog in your kitchen or in the checkout line at the supermarket (where it would fit very well between Batboy Goes to College on News of the World and How Jen’s Ovaries Are Holding Up on People). Just bag it.
Bagging, or masking, is a fetish that’s being taken up by couples looking for daring ways to spice up their love life.
One of the pair agrees to have their head covered during sex.
Note that double-bagging with plastic is not recommended, particularly if you’re a popular and talented Conservative MP in charge of the morality crusade. Connect this with the Socks for Sex post we did earlier and voila! The key to sexual success in England: just put a bag on each end and away you go.
raincoaster 