There goes the last of my childhood heroes. All I can say is, wow, that must have been quite the party. Can’t wait for the first grainy cellcam footage to show up on YouTube.
Actually, who am I kidding? Nancy had a stick up her ass the size of the Washington Monument. Trixie Belden was the cool one.
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I’m pretty sure all the American presidential candidates are on this stuff. Yet another reason to draft Gore!
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This goes a long way to explaining why the man’s never married. If all their mother-in-laws are like this, it’s a wonder British men ever get hitched.
Edna totally pwns him, too. Enjoy watching the fearsome Simon Cowell conquered, eating crow and smiling through his pain, for the first and possibly only time in his entire life. Who doesn’t like to start the day with a little Schaedenfreude?
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Surely no nation ever had a better incentive; in a world of readily available international travel and corrective lenses, pure-blooded Brits are in danger of dying out altogether.
For good reason.
Now, that font of all wisdom the Sun has revealed the solution, and the odds are it lies within your easy grasp, if you happen to be reading this blog in your kitchen or in the checkout line at the supermarket (where it would fit very well between Batboy Goes to College on News of the World and How Jen’s Ovaries Are Holding Up on People). Just bag it.
Bagging, or masking, is a fetish that’s being taken up by couples looking for daring ways to spice up their love life.
One of the pair agrees to have their head covered during sex.
Note that double-bagging with plastic is not recommended, particularly if you’re a popular and talented Conservative MP in charge of the morality crusade. Connect this with the Socks for Sex post we did earlier and voila! The key to sexual success in England: just put a bag on each end and away you go.
And a new, bolder technique for reconciling God and Man: go ahead and tell them we just make shit up.
It’s great to see the ancient layers of pretence completely stripped away like that, freshened as by sandblasting, and the doctrines presenting their renewed, if pitted, faces to the adoring hordes.
Who needs God anymore? Certainly not the Vatican; it is entirely able to issue its own commandments at any time. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog look forward to the Ten Commandments of Wii, the Ten Commandments of Skateboarding, the Ten Commandments of Using the Remote in Company, etc, etc. Plenty to work on here, if you don’t acknowledge Miss Manners as your personal savior (as we do).
From the AP.
The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:
1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.
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raincoaster 