Yo Bro, check out this No Fro Ho

The No Fro Yo Bro. What a Ho, No?

The No Fro Yo Bro. What a Ho, No?

Whoa.

David Davis possesses only one name, really, and really only half a haircut, since halfway through it he decided to pick up some scissors and stab a passerby in the back. Then, instead of settling down and letting the barber finish, he ran out without so much as tipping. WHAT kind of kids are we raising nowadays?

Well, that’s when the police were tipped off that there was a human before-and-after picture running around the neighborhood, and that they should pick him up.

David Davis, of Cedar Hill Avenue, New Haven, was arrested shortly after the incident when Stamford patrol officers and a police dog found him in a nearby Henry Street apartment. Officers took him into custody when they initially found he was wanted on a warrant for failing to appear in court and later charged him in the stabbing after an investigation, Stamford Police Capt. Richard Conklin said.

We are, of course, far more concerned with the crime against aesthetics than that against the unnamed stabbing victim. But enough of what we think: what do you think?

James Bond supports International Women’s Day

 

Blond Bond done good

Blond Bond cleans up well

Yay, I finally found a reason to like Blond Bond. This little video is aweome.

Finally, some relief from the tsunami of tsheen this week.

Liveblogging morphine (raincoaster)

Charlie Sheen in the New Yorker (Lolebrity)

State of Grace (Ayyyy)

Mush! Mush! (ManoloFood)

Universal Studios > Cthulhu??? (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston’s video is viral the way herpes is (BusyBeeBlogger)

Job opportunity of the year for a gossip blogger (CelebDirtyLaundry)

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

Liveblogging Morphine

Cover of "Midnight Phantom"

Cover of Midnight Phantom

I wrote this when I was in the hospital with my first gallbladder attack. I was there five days, and in my memory I wrote this over the course of many, many days and recorded many, many different experiences.

I did nothing of the kind.

What I did was, write it on morphine. Holy crap, how Coleridge ever puked up Kublai Khan while on this stuff is entirely beyond me. Prolixity is not a quality it confers, lemme tell ya. But in the vague hope that you’ll find it amusing, I will copypaste it here for your enjoyment (?).

Demerol better bring its A Game

Demerol better bring its A Game

Continue reading

It RISES!

Cthihuahualu rises! HE is coming!

Cthihuahualu rises! HE is coming!

Cthuahualu rises, ravening, from the black abyss whence he was confined untold ages ago. Slavering in his untameable, gibbering madness he will not be satisfied until he has utterly ravaged the Earth. The barren, scarred rock, sprouting lava pustules, swept by odourous winds of the star-spaces borne on the wings of the Hounds of Tindalos, will then be ready.

For Him to poop on.

Oh, Charlie!

What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?

Image via Wikipedia

How do you solve a problem like Charlie Sheen? You can’t, because he’s so epically winning, right? BOOM! But you can try to come a bit closer to understanding him if you run him through a few filters first; it’s like watching an eclipse. The sheer awesomenosity could blind you if you didn’t apply some filters. So here is Jimmy Kimmel‘s interpretation of the Sheen interview, with visuals starring that other Charlie.

Brown.

via CelebratingTheAbsurd

And since this post has already been user-tested for celebrity gossip addict appeal, here are your gossip links for Wednesday:

Baby on Board (raincoaster)

Nicole Kidman could use a sammich (Lolebrity)

London Fashion Week is for the birds (Ayyyy)

I scream! (ManoloFood)

He should fit right in with Lindsay and Gadaffi (AgentBedhead)

Charlie Sheen too busy winning to retain custody of his kids (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber sells out to rich witch doctor? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

A simple summit with Lady Gaga (CelebritySmack)

Robert Pattinson cheats on Tai (CelebVIPLounge)

Babies: totally Team Coco (CityRag)

Katie “Sue” Holmes (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian, Saviour of Autotune (Earsucker)

Save Oprah! (FitFabCeleb)

Another sign Russia is in desperate straights (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Oh man, the ski lobby hates celebrities (HaveUHeard)

ScarJo publicly toejobs Sean Penn (INeedMyFix)

Oh Em Jee, the Oscars are about to get awesome (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s V shots (PoorBritney)

Sad Mugshot Xtina is sad (PopBytes)

Amanda Seyfried’s magically transforming Doc Martens (TheSkinny)

Five Angels, only two backsides among them (TheSkinnyChic)

 

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