Sew What are you saying?
Oh, sure, maybe he’s not a Muslin, but American President Barack Obama is a man with a shady past. Just check out his autobiography; whole MONTHS of his childhood are unaccounted-for. Well, we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have dug deep, connected every connection, and yanked every chain in our unceasing hunt for The Troof! and now, here it is: video proof of Barack Obama‘s lifelong loyalty to perhaps the greatest enemy Peace on Earth has ever faced:
Elvis is the King of the Kings of Rock and Roll
Well, he is the King in Sweden anyway, which shows you just how desperate they must be. Here’s a charming, if bizarre (or is that BECAUSE bizarre) video of him performing Elvis Presley‘s A Little Less Conversation, a Little More Action on Swedish television.
It is heartening, is it not, to realize that, even in the complete absence of musical or dancing talent and equipped with nothing more than a Master’s degree in chemical engineering, one can claw one’s way to the very top of Swedish variety showdom and become the butt of jokes worldwide.
Weird Al couldn't believe his luck on PlentyofFish
My god, another shockingly accurate internet quiz! The implications are terrifying; imagine our deepest secrets laid bare at the whim of anonymous, random Blogthings!
You Are Coffee Bubble Tea |
|
You defy convention and expectations. You do things your way just because you can.You are energetic and unapologetically enthusiastic. You always have something to be hyper about. You go nonstop until you crash. You’re pretty good at wearing yourself out. |
Reach for the stars, Neelly!
The Cthuloid Cabazon Floyd; now it all makes so much sense!
Many warnings have we uttered. Many Cassandra-like cries have we cried to the oblivious masses. Not once, not twice, nay, not even thrice have we attempted to spread the truth about these malevolent, trembling mole-rats. We have shouted from the rooftops and twittered from the back alleys yea unto an thousandtimes, but have ye listened?
The Hell ye have.
we must strike back in the daytime, while they are trapped in purses around the globe
Let me give it to you straight, people: Chihuahuas are not simply evil, snappish, inbred yap machines, they are the spawn of the Great Old Ones themselves, come to Earth to subjugate mankind.
And from the neurasthenic, snappish comments on this Gawker post, they seem largely to have succeeded.
The woman dropped off 33 chihuahuas on Wednesday and nine more on Thursday morning. One of the chihuahuas gave birth to a puppy on Thursday, bringing the total to 43. All but six of the dogs are under the age of two…
and all but two of them needed spaying/neutering, and, in true Cthulhuonic fashion, they were deeply inbred, with all the revolting mental and physical deformities that go with that unspeakable aberration. But, right, I already TOLD you they were Chihuahuas. What’s most alarming is the number of commenters to whom the same descriptors can be applied.
You rarely see Rottweiler people getting pissy about people who don’t like Rotties. When was the last time you saw some undersexed, overmedicated chainsmoker screaming at someone because that person said their Labrador was “not a dog” eh? EH? The Labrador, you see, is a dog, as is the Rottie. As are the mutts at the pound, and the surly curs of Cairo back alleys, but as are not the tiny, fanged demons known as Cthihuahuas. They have obviously infiltrated the minds of the unwary, or the weak, and seized control
Long have we known, but been unable to prove to the doubters (a situation with which this far-ahead-of-its-time-and-incidentally-overhyphenated blog is all-too-familiar). Now, finally, from a remote Antipodean outpost not terribly far from the last reported sighting of The Great Cthulhu comes photo proof:
CthiCthuaCthua KNEEL DOWN AND WORSHIP, BITCHES!!
This:
I am not seeing any black pudding in that
via NegevRockCity and Slice
English. Breakfast. Pizza.
I’m serious, people, DON’T DO THIS TO ME! I’m fat-and-carb deprived and currently subsisting entirely off a diet somewhat lower down the food chain than a goldfinch, and it makes me cranky. We don’t have to review what happened the last time I went on a diet, do we?
raincoaster 