Those soft-headed Chihuahua defenders may, in fact, have a point. We now present shocking video proof that the hideous, deformed, shivering naked mole rat clone dog impersonating aliens are in fact subjected to unimaginably cruel torture and pushed beyond the breaking point, prior to being released from the hatcheries upon an unsuspecting and unprepared public.
Why does this giant sea isopod have the head of Bart Simpson as a tail? Does this imply some obscene and obscure linkage between the Buzzcut Boychild and the minions of Cthulhu? Only time, and the dedicated delvings of doomed New England professors, can tell.
Chair Dancing with the Has-Beens: GET ME CLORIS LEACHMAN ON THE PHONE THIS INSTANT
Ladies and Gentlemen, the fine, and near-forgotten, art of Chair Dancing, is sadly overlooked in the realm of vicarious pleasures deemed suitable for reality television. Crocheting with the Has-Beens? Sure. Chair Dancing with the Hotties from the Office Upstairs That You’re Not Sure What They Do But It Must Be Software, They’re All So Young? Not a chance.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a damn shame. Because, in an Orwellian world, chairdancing is freedom. They can take away our Aeron Chairs and replace them with crappy stationary ripoffs from Ikea, but they cannot take away our ability to bop mindlessly to Backstreet Boys while remaining seated. Because this, ladies and gentlemen, yes this is chairdancing in the Twenty-First Century Anno Domini:
It’s come so far! Remember the video that started the craze, way back in the last century2004?
Two of my favorite men, together again for the first time.
I always wondered what happened to old unicorns. Now I know. Gee, Korea looks an awful lot like the workshops of Isengard. They should invest in a few orc suites and hook up some LOTR fanboy tourism!
And now, because I am pimping them out all over the place, here are my gossip links for today:
Happy Thanksgiving, all right-thinking people! Here is a pretty accurate video portraying the differences between how Canadians and Americans celebrate this weekend’s momentous event, Canadian Thanksgiving.
Seriously, can you imagine what it’s like to be forced to give thanks for sharing a country with Celine Dion? The American response would be welcomed as a sweet release.
If you’re in Vancouver and single and thinking you’d enjoy the taste of tradition but not willing to go through the whole Turkey For One routine, then get down to Steamrollers (not a paid placement, neither in gold nor in burritos, alas, although retroactive bribes are ALWAYS acceptable) and buy their Thanksgiving burritos. They’ve got turkey, a strip of cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mashed potatoes with gravy, all prepared without trans fats and rolled up into a reheatable bundle. There’s apparently a guy in Yaletown who orders several flats of them, freezes them, and has one a week all year. I would, if I had: a) the money b) a freezer.