What does it mean that I’m a kind of candy you can’t get in my country? I’d rather be something nice and Canadian, like Maple Toffee or something.
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Category Archives: Allegory
Cat Found!
from Flickr via PostmodernGirl
What do you think? Should we tell them? I’m pretty sure this was a Looney Tunes episode many years back…
what this world needs is more singing, dancing contraception
If they could somehow work jazz hands into this, it would be just about perfect.
NSFW if your boss is really, really uptight about cross-sectional illustrations of gay sex, or maybe also wooden dildos
Here, via The Manolo, is the singingest, dancingest Bollywood-fabulousest subtitlediest condom commercial you’ll ever lay eyes on. They’re like the Teletubbies of the prophylactic world!
It’s remarkable that somehow the Third World got the jump on us in this regard, but here is the proof. Surely, surely, if North Americans had condom commercials featuring Paula Abdul choreography and Celine Dion vocals, maybe throwing in some Sigfried and Roy or Zac Efron for the boys, we could eliminate unintended pregnancy overnight! Up With People and the whole celibacy movement just haven’t got the showbiz pizazz to pull it off. I mean, what can you do when Blair from Fats of Life is the best you’ve got? We need to ramp up the production values if this is ever going to work…as they said in Earth Girls are Easy, Southern California has the cosmetology equivalent of Stealth technology. The same can be said for its entertainment. What’s the first step?
First, we sign Bob Evans. Then, we wait, baby. Then we wait.
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Who wore it best: Jesus, Elvis, or Axl?
We’re talking about the trademark Sacred Heart look of
The King of Kings, Jesus Christ himself.
The question: Who wore it best?
The King?
or drama queen Axl Rose?
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The Vegan Anthem: a challenge and war cry!
First, some motivational music. Preeeeeee-senting the Arrogant Worms performing their breakout hit (Arrogant Worm nerds: no backtalk, please) Carrot Juice is Murder. Stolen from Seismic Twitch, and cross-posted in a couple of days to TeenyManolo. Lyrics over the jump, philosophical thesis statement, below.
And now, to the debate.
I’d like to introduce as a concept the proposition that quality of life impingements can be a justification for euthanasia. Now, I’m just saying that it is widely accepted that, if one’s quality of life were to decline to a point at which one could not move freely, think clearly, or make oneself understood with the inherent dignity which is humankind’s birthright, a painless form of euthanasia is an option which the majority of people believe should be made available to one within the framework of the law.
Example: Britney Spears.
Furthermore, I would like to suggest that, as we exterminate zombies not so much because they are zombies but rather as a tribute to the vast gap between who they are now and the humans that they once were, so, too, we should look at the principle of falling-somewhat-short-of-humanity as it applies to other life forms, such as vegetables.
They’re vegetables.
Not only are they vegetables, but they have no hope of becoming anything else within their lifetimes, free-roaming creative raw foodists who are dab hands with a smoothie notwithstanding.
Conclusion:
We should do our part. We should find the vegetables, wherever they are, and we should put them out of their suffering. We should do it now.
Animals, on the other hand, have no difficulty moving around and comporting themselves with greater elan than your typical celebutard. Like the inspirational blogger BeastFeaster, sworn to consume 52 species of the Animal Kingdom in 52 weeks, I’m switching to a renewable flesh-based diet. Perhaps I shall consume only limbs amputated on the field of battle, as a kind of recycling initiative.
Meat: the responsible choice. the moral choice. the only choice.
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raincoaster 