world’s worst commute?

World's worst commute?

via BoingBoing

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Viggo Mortensen vs Evil Elf

Well, perhaps not “vs” per se. He was too startled to put up much of a fight.

From the Archive and North Country Public Radio‘s website, and more or less another lifetime. Pictures and nicer formatting will have to wait till tomorrow, but will be provided. Sorry, no Speedo shot. Warning: I believe this one tops out at 23,000 words. Get yourself a drink. While you’re up, get me one too.

Viggo and me

February 27, 2003: Tripping

Viggo Mortensen, the actor best known for his role as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, returned to his native North Country to open an exhibition of photographs and read poetry at his alma mater, St. Lawrence University in Canton, New York. As soon as the trip was announced, fans of Viggo (and all things middle-earthly) began to plan an invasion. The following account was written by a fan from Vancouver known as Evil Elf.

———————————————————–
There are so many reasons this trip is impossible. So many GOOD reasons. It IS impossible. But of course that has no bearing on the situation whatsoever; we are dealing with Americans here.

So here I am in the Vancouver International Airport, on my way. Clearly, however impossible the trip is, it is more impossible NOT to go. It is certainly impossible to change the mind of a Connecticutite once it is made up, that I know for sure.

It’s all Ara‘s fault. Ara short for Aragrothien. Ara, like me, is a Viggofan. Should I back up a bit? No, why should you be any less confused than me, eh? So Ara, who lives in Connecticut, got talking to some of the other Viggo Mortensen fans on the fanbase, www.viggofanbase.com/modules/news, and she, dragonlady, gubydal, pandora, you know, that lot, well they are on their way right now to Canton, New York to see Viggo. He’s doing a big booksigning and art show and suchlike at his old alma mater, Saint Lawrence University. And these ladies decided amongst themselves and for God knows what reason that their trip would not be complete without the presence of Evil Elf herself.

That would be me.

Now ordinarily it’s just not to hard to get me out to meet a man who paints, writes, takes photographs, and acts well; it is even easier when he is tall, blond, blue-eyed, handsome and single.

Gotta dash, more later!

Evil Elf, Vancouver BC
President and CEO
Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow!
Evil Elf the One and Only
The Nubby Kanuck
Viggo’s Athletic Supporter

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Continue reading

300 spoofs!

Say hello to the world’s crabbiest geography teacher:

This! Is! Spartaaaaaaaa! 

 And a new meme is born.

Thanks to engtech for these: a thread consisting of nothing but dozens upon dozens of joke 300 images. You’d think the man would have something better to do than feed my obsession, but apparently not. We could all learn from his example.

Xerxes is big pimpin'

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fairy for sale!

fairy autopsy photo.

Naturally, if you’re a blogger of the world in any way, shape, or form, you’ll have often come across the opportunity to buy, or at least rent, a fairy before.

This is different. Buy a Fairy on eBay, via Easy in the comments section of Neatorama.

Last week a shocking story hit the news around the world.

What appeared to be the mummified remains of a fairy were discovered in the Derbyshire countryside. The 8inch remains complete with wings; skin. teeth and flowing red hair were discovered by a local man while walking his dog along an old remote roman road in the Derbyshire countryside, an area which has long been shrouded in mystery with tales of … strange “dancing” lights on warm summer evenings…This is your chance to own the actual fairy that featured in so many stories around the world…current bid £48.00

Okay, so it’s not the first time someone’s been offered the opportunity to buy a fairy at a rave. Still…This is far more significant and positive than a chance to come in contact with the so-called alien of alien autopsy infamy. After all, everyone knows about those nasty alien anal probes, but who ever heard of a fai – oh, never mind.

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Harry Potter coverup

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and the busy cover art 

Just to prime the pump (and possibly to silence legions of annoying, yammering, l33tspkg fans) Bloomsbury has released the cover designs for the last book in JK Rowling‘s series: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Bloomsbury Publishing Plc is delighted to release the book jacket images for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K.Rowling, to be published on 21st July 2007. The cover illustration for the children’s edition is by Jason Cockcroft, who drew the cover illustrations for the previous two Harry Potter books… The cover design for the adult edition is from a photograph by Michael Wildsmith, who has photographed all the adult edition jackets…These covers will be used throughout the world on the English language editions excluding the USA. Scholastic US have also released their cover images of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

and look, here it is:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows US

Better than the British one (you have to view the full wraparound version on their crappy Flash page), if more individualistic. What does that say about the relative values of each nation? That Daniel Radcliffe has a better US agent than Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, that’s what.

Actually, the best one is the British adult version(warning: is pig-dog to load and has a tendency to crash my computer. Funny, you’d think Slytherin would be raincoaster-positive), with Slytherin‘s locket. Although who would have imagined that Slytherin would be caught dead wearing anything as femme-y as a locket?

Also, why are publishers so enamoured of Flash? These pages are a bitch to load, and that cutsie owl hooting that Scholastic features during the load just about makes me want to go out and strangle the next owl I see.

Or publisher.

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