And what are YOU looking at?
Do you ever feel like this? I always feel like this. Realizations such as this are the circumstances which led to the invention of the expression “FML.”
Gossip linkies over the jump, just because I’m tired of seeing them all on the front page, plus I don’t want Our Overlords of Teh Googlewebz to get angry with me.
Scientia est Potentia
As longtime readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog know, occasionally we take a good long look at our stats, indeed, nearly disappearing into our own fundamentals from time to time, most particularly when something has either gone spectacularly well or when it has gone spectacularly badly. We call this Operation Global Media Domination.
As you, gentle reader, are doubtless also aware, recently things have been going spectacularly badly with the exception of the unfortunately shortly-lived Cusack Effect. You may be sure that I am doing all in my power to drag my hits out of the ditch in which Automattic has thrown them (and a long, technical rant on why will doubtless be forthcoming) including appearing on podcasts, speaking at conferences (four this month: FOUR) and pimping out my blog in my linkblogging every chance I get.
It’s paying off slowly, as we’ve gone from about 650 hits a day in May up to 1100, but when Automattic made the link from the global tag pages NoFollow, they basically threw me off a cliff, or at least my hits. My graph:
Is it any wonder I'm so fucking CRANKY?????
But there’s something worse than facing that graph: facing THIS graph:
Nick Denton is not a happy man
Can you guess when the new Gawker redesign was implemented? Can you believe a man as smart as Denton has a cash bet that pageviews are going UP? Can you believe he still doesn’t see the problem?
Can you ever be thankful enough that that’s not you???
Nick Denton BOOM Winning. Just ask him.
Scientia est Potentia
How does it go? A prophet is never esteemed in his own house…? something like that? Well, fortunately this prophet is esteemed, and that highly, in the nearby megalopolis of Victoria, British Columbia, to which I am constantly drawn and not just by the drinks that Shawn Soole cooks up for me…
though significantly by them, it must be admitted.
Indeed, I am drawn thither by the constant call to speak at WordCamps, SocialMediaCamps, IdeaWaves, and other tech-related compound words, which opportunities are seldom offered to me in my own humble burb of Vancouver, not that I am sulking about it, no sir! I mean, how could you resist this:
The Digital Revolution: Lessons from the Homeless
The Digital Divide is very real, and when the gap is bridged the results can be surprising, creative, instructive, even inspiring. By focusing on case studies of social media use among homeless individuals (taken from my personal teaching practice) this talk will provide radical new strategies for more informed and effective communications for anyone.
I ask yez.
In any case, if you want to see me speak a little closer to home, or on the other hand fear physical proximity to me while wishing to appease me with an offering of cash and/or Paypal, I’ve just announced a raft of new and returning blogging and social media workshops, some online, some IRL, over at my social media site, so go check them out.
Wonder how good I am? Ask Mike Vardy (of Eventualism, LifeAsAHuman, and DNTO):
Lorraine is likely better known by her Twitter handle (and business monicker of sorts), @raincoaster. She runs Raincoaster Media…and she really knows her stuff. She’s been doing this for a long time and has the right mix of credentials and knowledge to offer what a lot of those doing the same kind of thing can’t: nuanced comprehension.
Awwww. And for your information NO, I DID NOT HAVE TO BRIBE HIM, which is good, as I have, as we all know, no money.
But if you sign up for a course, I’ll have money! And then I can bribe YOU! Wouldn’t that be fabulous???
Sure it would. Shut up.
Dali and flying cats by philippe halsman
Oh, it looks easy (okay, it looks impossible) but the amount of work this shot actually took is truly mind-boggling, most particularly when you realize there were cats involved. Yes, cats: Chihuahuas in alter form, fanged knick-knacks, short-tempered, incontinent attention sinkholes (huh, maybe they`re Mickey Rourke in alter form) in the shape of naked mole rats. Evil to the core.
It`s amazing to me nobody was killed during the shoot.
Dali and flying cats takes one through six. DUCK!
Then, undoubtedly, he killed the secretary and made her into a light fixture for a dinner party with the Duchess of Windsor. And the cats, too.
And now, speaking of viciousness and fanged, clawed, and bad-tempered things, let`s get to some gossip links:
The Julian Assange coloring book (raincoaster)
It! Is! Time! (Ayyyy)
King of the Road (Manolofood)
Chuck Norris fears this man (Lolebrity)
Interview with raincoaster (SurveyMagnet)
Beastie Boys beat 2010 (AgentBedhead)
Owen Wilson…daddy? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Demi Lovato morphing into Demi Moore? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Natalie Portman is a cannibal! (CeleBitchy)
Hold it against Britney (CelebritySmack)
Michael Douglas has left Tumortown (DailyStab)
Famous people: VERY different from you and me (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Natalie Portman in World’s Ugliest Maternity Dress (HaveUHeard)
Sandra Bullock simultaneously beats Jesse James AND ScarJo (INeedMyFix)
The verdict on holding it against Britney (PoorBritney)
Who invited TomKat? (PopBytes)
Mila Kunis gets real about weight (TheSkinny)
Empress Gaga? President Gaga? (EvilBeet)
Victoria Beckham to switch to flats in 6 months or so (GabbyBabble)
Trailer parks of the world wild for Bieber, apparently (FitFabCeleb)
Sy-Phillis! Cloris Leachman`s talent is contagious! (Movieline)
Scientia est Potentia
Well, it’s been a bang-up start to the weekend what with all the pointless internet drama and all. There may only be three commenters, but they’re refreshing their screens like maniacs to see if I’ve replied yet. Well, if McDonalds can say “it’s all parts” I guess I can reconcile myself to “it’s all pageviews” but it’s still rather lowering the standard around here. At least the Albanian trolls were fun.
But this isn’t a post about that! Oh no! No indeedy! It is a post about my interview going live on SurveyMagnet. This was originally scheduled for weeks and weeks ago, but a two month medical leave rather puts a crimp in such self-promotional activities. Anyway, the interview is up, and I’m happy to promote it here, particularly because it’s all about Lolebrity, a blog I’m trying to pimp out to a positively JonBenet-ian level.
A snippet:
4) What is the craziest/most interesting exchange you’ve seen in your blog comments and why?
Well, there are very few comments on Lolebrity, except for the pervs looking for more Miley Cyrus boobs, but on another of my sites I did once get into a flamewar with the nation of Albania, and when it comes to the dialogue on the existence of fairies in Devonshire, well, I’ve got a corner on the market, with over 2000 comments on that particular raincoaster.com post.
Well, what are you still doing here? Go over there and read the damn thing; how am I supposed to get famous if you don’t? Eh?
raincoaster 