There are bandleaders in Brooklyn starving because of people like me. Thanks, Jack Valenti, for giving all Canadians the right to freely download music from the internet. I mean, I’ll miss the hell out of Dal Richards when he goes, but it’s him or this Slave 4 U remix, and one must have priorities!
What a week! And it’s only Wednesday!
Bonus: Guess What Time It Is!
Hacked and hacking, plus super bonus rotten weather meaning I have nothing better to do than sit inside and fret about my poor, dead blogs, the WP.com bug that is replacing all my P tags with DIV tags, and the 1400 people who came to this blog so far today looking for the sex tape of a drug-addled, quite possibly insane woman who is, besides, bloated and criss-crossed with track marks, methface, and surgical scars. Way to go, porn surfers. Your karma must be even more toxic than Britney right about now.
Plus, I’m really, really cranky. If only I could AFFORD some nice brandy, I might calm down. Well, anything’s possible, right?
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
i b haxx0red, yo! Not here, but my other blogs. And computer infection too, swell. Back once everything is healed up. Meanwhile, use the Raincoaster Randomizer in the sidebar to enjoy a random selection of my archives and tell me which of my YouTubes have gotten taken down lately. Such fun!
Working for a living. Yeah, it sucks. The long, monitor-lit hours, from the very moment your afternoon coffee is ready right up until it’s time for cocktails, it is a gruelling, bone-crushing slog. The nightly thrashings from the trolls. The technical difficulties. The next-morning regrets when the boss asks why you posted the decapitation story on a mommyblog.
While some are fortunate enough to get iFreebie after iFreebie, some of us must content ourselves with only a token collection of, say, Viggo Mortensen videos, jewelry, international trips, and squid-themed clothing sent by various well-wishers from across the planet.
Honestly, what’s a humble anarchist squid/parenting/gossip blogger to do?
If you only knew the thousands of twisted, revolting things I have comb through every day just to find you something of the quality of Baby Toupee, show you a scientific video as breathtakingly beautiful as It’s Full of Stars, or compose a symphony of intertextual meaning such as Linkabilly Roundup, you’d bow your head and solemnly click the SUPPORT OPERATION GLOBAL MEDIA DOMINATION Paypal donation button near the
Top
Right-Hand
Corner
of the blog.
Again, for those just tuning in: the Support OGMD Paypal donation button is in the sidebar, on the right-hand side of the blog. Click at will.
Click early. Click often.
In any case, as I have recently been asked “How do you know this stuff” I thought I would give you a sample, however small, of the revolting masses of teeming Hollywood effluent through which I must wade day in and day out, slaving away for my crust and a bowl of scummy, tepid water.
Without so much as a Fish Head to gnaw on.
Go on. Click. But be warned: this stuff will fucking break you. You can’t handle it. No one can for long, and retain their sanity. Just be thankful that there are a legion of us bloggers out there protecting you from coming into contact with such things directly. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.
You’re welcome. You’re warned.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Story of my life, really.
I don’t know nuthin, but it seems I know everybody. That’s all I need.
Well, that and Gawker Media commenting privileges.
See, if you look at this site and you’re like most people around WordPress or even like most civilians, you’ll see a bit gaping empty space where my lovely and tentacular/Goth header used to be. And on the sides, where that awesome gloomy wallpaper pattern that’s a takeoff of the really kinda Fifties Motel Hallway one on Matt‘s blog, but Gothified, used to be, you’ll see an equal amount of nussink.
There’s a whole lotta nussink around where my beautiful template images used to be.
And for five days I’ve been reporting it via the Support button on the dashboard, emailing complaints directly to Support staff, stomping my feets in the forum, and generally wailing in 360 degrees. Sometimes they’re here, but then sometimes Amelia Earhart has them, or they’re sleeping with the squids, or Elvis is using them on his Tumblr, or they’ve been eaten by Cthulhu. Or sumpin.
And all I heard from staff was “I see it fine. Clear your cache, delete your cookies and refresh?” which is, of course, 150% extra super galling because I tell newbies to do that cookie dance bit eighteen or twenty times a day in the forums, and DON’T THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM DAMMIT!!!
So when I was cruising through Valleywag recently, which I’ve developed quite a habit of doing since all the Macworld stuff hit, for lo, I have your basic enormous crush on Steve Jobs and have even invented a verb, “Steveing” which is the word you use for that time you spend reading about someone named Steve.
And it’s not at all stalkerish. For realz.
So when I was cruising through Valleywag recently one midnight, I came across an 11:23pm post on Automattic (WP’s corporate parent) and felt the urge to add a discreet reference to some of the recent technical problems at WP.com, my own in particular.
Well WordPress.com has been fucking borked for four days, so I don’t care who it is, I just want my goddam header back!
Classy, eh?
And the next thing I knew, I had an email from Matt Himself (of AutoMATTic, gedit?) offering to sort it out and, yes, saying he could see it all just fine. And then I got another one a few hours later saying that the reason my blog alone was having this issue was that the blog on which the images were hosted had been set to private.
Of course.
That’s part of the fallout from the whole firestorm in which Timethief, far and away the most prolific volunteer in the forums, got inelegantly axed. It’s happened before. It’ll happen again. This is what happens on the internet.
Several people left WP.com, several more have withdrawn to a large extent, and wank continues to exist simply because she’s just too tough to be killed off. I think I’m still kicking only because of the 3k hits I bring in every day, OR my relentless self-promotion. Then again, JFK was famous, too.
Devblog, the fellow who adapted this theme specially for me (what did I say about knowing smart, useful people?) is one of those who’s pulled back, and he set his blog to private. The reason staff could always see the images was, of course, they can see into private blogs and private files when they’re logged in as staff. Now he’s emailed me the files, so I’ve got some CSSing to do and then all should be back to normal. No idea how Matt figured it out, but he’s a smart boy for someone who looks about twelve.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
raincoaster 