My goodness, the things that win photography contests nowadays!
I guess it’s true what Dave Allan always said: God does have a sensa huma. Jeez, somebody better tell the Republicans.
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Category Archives: contests
photoshop challenge: things on my sleeping Jakeypoo
Stole this one from Defamer, who stole the pic from Towelroad. Take this adorable picture of Cute Overload-level scrumptious sweetie Jake Gyllenhaal napping on a train and use your lolgoth-honed skillz to photoshop additional and preferably amusing things to it.
The #1 thing I’d want to put on Jakeypoo is, of course, myself, but that might startle the poor lad into wakefulness. Them tentacles is a-cold!
Let’s see what ya got. Because you can’t post images in comments, drop a link to the sordid product of your twisted desires and we shall happily post it here, properly blam- Attributed! As always, the prize is eternal raincoastery glory in all its tentacled fabulousness, rather than, say, cash or actual proximity to said Jakeypoo.
He’s mine, he is!
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contest: name that fad!
How to intro this…well, first of all you should know that the prize here is nothing less than immortal glory and the adoring praise of millions. There shall be none other like you on Earth; you will be unique among all peoples:
the one, the only, winner of the FADenclature contest on the ol’ raincoaster blog!
Seriously, how cool is that?
Which is all just a fancy way of saying No, there’s no money in it.
Something along the lines of the Tentacle Pornstar Name Challenge, this is a contest to develop the most amusing name for the soon-to-leave-the-pages-of-Snopes-forever (as soon as Lohan gets ahold of the idea anyway) concept of adorning one’s nether regions with what is known in the yoof community as “bling” and flashing said bling in the presence of witnesses if not actually paparazzi. Where can Paris, Lindsay et al go from here anyway? They’ve got to ramp it up somehow!
See here for background. Suggestions in the comments section. You’re up against some tough competition here; those Gawkerites can be lightning fast with the wisecracks, so bring your best game.
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sumo-screamin’ smackdown!
If you’ve ever made pathetic “he’s got a good set of lungs!” excuses for your unstoppably-squalling infant, you’ll enjoy this: Japanprobe reports on the annual Baby-Cry Sumo Contest.
Too late to enter for this year, but should you be currently pregnant and your gene pool blessed with good lungs and bad tempers, you might want to put the fetoid down for next year’s contest.
OMFG, that guy’s legpit has a double chin. What do you have to do to get the grownups to put some pants on?
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Teeny Ted from Turnip Town: the Text
Click to enlarge: if only the actual book were so easy to read!
Here, ladies and gentlemen, with the permission of the publisher Robert Chaplin, is the entire text of the smallest book ever produced, Teeny Ted from Turnip Town. The book was produced in association with nanotechnologists Dr. Li Yang and Dr. Karen L. Kavanagh from Simon Fraser University, and is so small that when you look at the plain sheet of polished silicon on which it is carved, you cannot see anything but the scratches laid down by the point of a diamond so that the electron microscope can navigate. That is the huge rut in the image above; the finest scratch visible to the naked eye. The eye does not register this thirty-page book, even as a tiny speck. It is an invisibook, unless, that is, one happens to be carrying in one’s book bag a scanning electron microscope, which possibility we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are not prepared to deny on a categorical or any other basis. We know our readers are a tricksy bunch, yo.
Teeny Ted from Turnip Town is a tale of triumph, a story of success. Ted grows the biggest turnip; Ted wins the Biggest Turnip contest.
Ah, if only life were that simple.
Chaplin points out, rightly, that we do not know the mysterious Ted‘s back story; we don’t know if he poisoned the other turnips, if he’s obsessed with size because he’s so short, or if winning the prize won him the heart of his true love. Back story be damned! Ted grows the biggest turnip, Ted wins the contest.
End of story.
The book is available from the publisher (contact him here) in a limited edition of one hundred copies, for $20,000. As it can be read only by those who can afford to have a spare scanning electron microscope lying around, price should be no object.
Suggested additional reading: Leaf by Niggle, by JRR Tolkien.
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