“There are only two kinds of bad guys. Live bad guys, and the ones who’ve met Chuck Norris.”
This has got to be the single best blender marketing video the universe has ever witnessed, and if you doubt it, click for yourselves.
We’ve really been struggling to find something that could challenge the Total Blender’s blending capabilities. What could we blend that’s stronger than anything we’ve ever blended?
Then it hit us like a roundhouse kick to the face…Chuck Norris!
Hat-tip to Stiletto, for the inspiration to post it.
The old Gloaming homestead of Miami has been given a glamorous new makeover since those exotic and exciting social dynamos the Nyarlathoteps rescued it in April of this year. The redecoration has spared no expense, and the charmingly distressed mansion is filled with those remarkable and seductively alien little touches that remind the owners of their former home. Eldritch-y!
They are from France.
And just wait till you see what they’ve done with the cellar!
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Shocking news from Guantanamo Bay, as reports trickle in that security has been breached, in several, very palpable ways.
Prisoners have been sighted in possession of, and actually wearing, contraband items which have obviously been smuggled in somehow, to purportedly the most secure compound on Earth. Ringed by the Caribbean Ocean, patrolled by endless US Navy and Coast Guard boats, continuously scouted by fighter jets and surveillance drones, nonetheless the Gitmo prison camp has proven as porous as cheesecloth, all the forces of the United States Military no more effective than the elderly, be-aproned greeters at Wal-Mart.
We’re talking Speedos, people.
From the AP, via the Guardian:
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) – Guards at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp found two prisoners sporting unauthorized underwear, and the U.S. military is investigating to determine how they got the contraband.
Both prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one also had on a Speedo bathing suit, items the military said were not issued by Guantanamo personnel or sent through the regular mail, according to a Defense Department letter obtained Friday by The Associated Press.
Army Lt. Col. Ed Bush, a spokesman at the jail holding some 340 men on suspicion of terrorism or links to al-Qaida and the Taliban, said more was involved than just an uproar over skivvies.
He said the appearance of contraband raised serious concerns about the potential for smuggling other items that could be used by detainees to harm themselves or staff.
“There is no room for error when working in a dangerous environment, and constant vigilance is of the utmost importance,” Bush said.
Sweetie, if they look half-decent in them, you can be certain that at least some of your guards won’t take their eyes off of them. They’ve been away from home for a long time.
So, how does that work: if we wear the baggies, do the terrorists win?
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Yes, Stacy Keach is a man of many talents. You may be familiar with him as an actor; you may have heard of his charity work; you may know him from his colourful personal history, but are you aware that this veritable Renaissance Man is also a qualified Jedi Master Chef?
Indeed, in the crowded ranks of celebrity Jedi Chef wannabes, only a rare few make it through to the revered rank of Jedi Master Chef. The years of training, the discipline necessary to wield a lightsaber or boning knife equally with not only a straight face, but a threatening one, the dogged pursuit of the scoundrel known as “Santa Clause”, and the ability to instantly recall the correct method for preparing non-weepy custard, are accomplishments beyond the ability of all but a rare, ascetic few.
Undertaking the way of the Jedi Chef is the choice of those remarkable individuals whose paths wind through tangled underbrush, dark valleys, and science fiction conventions.
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raincoaster 