Another video from apeman, the twisted Canuckistani genius who brought Hinterland’s Who’s Who’s Crack Spider into being.
Again, I’m sticking the video and lyrics over the jump because I was told that it was kinder to the people on dialup and also because I hope this way I won’t have to do a bloody restart every time my cache fills up.
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The world just can’t get enough GRILF lately, Gwyneth Paltrow’s rumoured Oscar nipple slip notwithstanding. So here, for you acting royalty fetishists, is a fantastic mashup video of The King and The Queen, together again for the first time.
How history would have been different, had they only gotten together and made sweet jungle love. Vid over the jump…
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Because sometimes you’re just too damn lazy to write the blog post yourself. Here, via the Generator Blog, is the Blog-o-matic blog post generator (now improved: 50% less maudlin than the LiveJournal post generator).
My result:
Everything to know about Genes
Last night I dreamt we simply need to realize to make peace on earth. Why am I talking about Genes, you probably wonder… OK, I will tell you something here now… Back in school things were still OK. Like a true poet or something. OK, but back to the story. But something felt awkward. I dreamt of a giant banana. Which isn’t something I post about usually, but…
Read more…
and the LiveJournal Generator:
Your entry is as follows:
Today was really great.
I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I’m really sick. I mean REALLY sick.I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.
I’m so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I’ll miss him. Poor kitty.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda’s friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I’d post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am making this journal friends only because I don’t want the world to read what I’m writing, even though I’m posting it on the internet.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here’s ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I’m not suffering alone. It’s cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It’s amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you Customize.
Type something here.
That’s enough for now. But I’ll leave you with this thought – sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I’m beautiful.
Created with the Gregor’s Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey
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Well, that title should draw the Buffy fans like flies.
The BBC reports that men in Tanzania live in constant fear of being attacked and raped by a bisexual demon in the form of a giant bat.
The story goes that the bat is able to transform itself into a man at night and it has also been blamed for rapes of women.
Sheikh Yahya Hussein, a prominent astrologer in Tanzania, claims that the demon is a spirit that is unleashed by witches to torment their opponents.
Naturally, in an effort to prevent such attacks, the men are sleeping rough (it being, presumably, well-known that sex-crazed bat-shaped demons have difficulty performing when they’re out in the open and prefer a more intimate setting for their acts of incubation/incubattery) and, of course, smearing themselves with lardons, which has the not-entirely-welcome effect of repelling gay bat sex demons yet attracting Mario Batali and his fingerling.
Also, no sightings of said sex-crazed bat demon have in fact been reported in Tanzania at all. So ask yourself…have any sightings been reported around here? We will pause while you check the local paper.
And since the Tanzanian protections have so far proven 100% effective at deterring sex-crazed bat demon attacks, perhaps you should start thinking about the practicalities.
Just to be safe, get out the Crisco and the hammock. After all, you don’t want anyone thinking you were asking for it.
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This was all over the Tatooine group on Facebook last week, although I came to it via this link.
Leia‘s boozy 22nd birthday party is ruined when a lightsaber duel breaks out. The YouTube is over the jump (yes, I hate that but Dr Mike says it’s kinder to people with dialup).
Where is Banditcar when you need him?!?!?!?!
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raincoaster 