Category Archives: humor

not just a river in Egypt

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Our thought for the day:

Denial

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Your Scientology vs Anonymous Unicorn Chaser Video

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Update: Oh, fine, take down your damn videos. Here’s another one:

Some faithful readers have complained about the ominous, extremist anarchist tone taken by the internet action group Anonymous in its video manifestos against the Church of Scientology. And we understand, we really do. We don’t understand why ominositousness, extremeology, and anarchistication are seen as negatives, but there, there, we’ll cut you some slack.

Here is your unicorn chaser, stolen straight from The Church of Stalkerology, Gawker.

LolCats. NonyLolCats vs the Church of Scientology. Is this not the meta-ist of the meta-memes you’ve ever seen? It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. The only way this could have been improved is if it had been posted, yes, anonymously.

Transcript

Hey-a, we is anonacat.

We haz been in yer sitez watchin’ ur filks.

We see whud u did der.

We no whud u bin doin wif yer peeps.

The lays, teh lawsoots, teh deed peepel n stuff.

U got caught in butt sechs and ceiling cat is not amused.

We is gonna ate allz yer cheezburgers

and poop n your corm flacks.

We is gonna pwn u.

pwn ur websitez,

pwn yer blags.

pwn your girlfriend wif butt sechs.

We know that u b strong n stuff, but we is not impretz.

We are a lots,

we be have a lot of kittahs

that can be catz fer us if we be get deed.

We are in your base, liberating your doods.

For the gud of yer peeps.

For the good of teh kittehs everwhere,

and for de cheezeburgas, we is gonna make yer cult be kilt.

We are anonycat.

We are teh leegun.

We haz a flavor.

We is no skert.

Expect We.

kthanxbai.

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Banksy caught in the act!

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Banksy’s bouquet

One of the great mysteries of the Twenty-First Century has been revealed: the identity of the secretive “Banksy,” perhaps the most (in)famous of all guerrilla graffiti artists. Banksy, whose politically and socially critical works sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars to collectors around the world including the Pitt-Jolie family, is notoriously reclusive. The artist has never been publicly identified, and no previous photos of Banksy at work are known to exist. As you will see from the picture behind the page jump, the patron saint of taggers everywhere has good reason to have kept quiet about that highly inconvenient “day job.”

Banksy Thug for Life

Click onward for the shocking photo evidence.

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Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women, by Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Jennifer Love Hewitt’s face is up here

O RLY? Yes, RLY.

She’s not as bimbonic as she looks. She certainly is smart enough to have hired a PR who can pick out a good ghostwriter!

From Esquire, via PopOnThePop:

1. PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It’s a great excuse.

2. We really can pump our own gas. It’s just that we’ve got this fantasy of you as a ’30s-era full-service station attendant. You’d look so cute in the hat.

3. We’re not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?

4. We’re smart enough to know that smell is always the dog.

5. Yes, we can dish it out.

6. No, we can’t take it.

7. We want to raise children. We just don’t want you to be one of them.

8. Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don’t want to be fixed; we want to be heard.

9. When we ask if you’ve had any work done, it’s because we want to know what our kids will really look like.

10. When we ask you how we look, it’s okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie.

I disagree with #6, but then, I’m considerably better-nourished than Ms JLoHew, and as everyone knows, cocaine interferes with one’s ability to detect #4. #2, though. What was she thinking, letting that out of the bag?

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the salt mines

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Coal MinersWorking for a living. Yeah, it sucks. The long, monitor-lit hours, from the very moment your afternoon coffee is ready right up until it’s time for cocktails, it is a gruelling, bone-crushing slog. The nightly thrashings from the trolls. The technical difficulties. The next-morning regrets when the boss asks why you posted the decapitation story on a mommyblog.

While some are fortunate enough to get iFreebie after iFreebie, some of us must content ourselves with only a token collection of, say, Viggo Mortensen videos, jewelry, international trips, and squid-themed clothing sent by various well-wishers from across the planet.

Honestly, what’s a humble anarchist squid/parenting/gossip blogger to do?

If you only knew the thousands of twisted, revolting things I have comb through every day just to find you something of the quality of Baby Toupee, show you a scientific video as breathtakingly beautiful as It’s Full of Stars, or compose a symphony of intertextual meaning such as Linkabilly Roundup, you’d bow your head and solemnly click the SUPPORT OPERATION GLOBAL MEDIA DOMINATION Paypal donation button near the

Top

Right-Hand

Corner

of the blog.

Again, for those just tuning in: the Support OGMD Paypal donation button is in the sidebar, on the right-hand side of the blog. Click at will.

Click early. Click often.

In any case, as I have recently been asked “How do you know this stuff” I thought I would give you a sample, however small, of the revolting masses of teeming Hollywood effluent through which I must wade day in and day out, slaving away for my crust and a bowl of scummy, tepid water.

Without so much as a Fish Head to gnaw on.

Go on. Click. But be warned: this stuff will fucking break you. You can’t handle it. No one can for long, and retain their sanity. Just be thankful that there are a legion of us bloggers out there protecting you from coming into contact with such things directly. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

You’re welcome. You’re warned.

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