Welcome to New York, Ahmadinejad

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Totally Looks Like Jake Gyllenhaal
can not be unseen!

The NYC visit of the President of Iran is as good an excuse as we need to re-post this video. View it quick, before Lorne Michael’s little trolls pry it from the internet’s sadly un-tenacious grasp.

IRan So Far

Lyrics via JustJared

They say true love comes only once in a lifetime

And even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth

My heart tells me you’re the one for me

Mahmoud, I remember when it started, saw you on the news

You hating gays, I was eating food

I was feeling you, and even though I disagree with almost everything you said

You ain’t wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me

Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me

Mahmoud, make my heart beating out of my chest

my mind says no but my body says yes

You ain’t no threat, the only threat I see, is the threat of you not coming home to me

Our love for each other is like when atoms collide

Can’t express how I feel, and yo Adam let’s ride

And Iran, Iran so far away is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay

He ran, for the president of Iran

We ran together to a tropical island

My man, Mahmoud is known for violence

Smiling, if he can still do it then I can

They call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval

You can play the Jews, I can be your Jim Caviezel

S&M, (?) when we’re wrestlin’

You can be the port that I put my vessel in

So I try to (?) but you can still see me

With your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs

And your hairy butt… Yeah.

And Iran, Iran so far away

Come home, and in my arms you’ll stay

Used to look at the stars and dream

Around the world the same stars we’re seeing

And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud

Talk smooth to me, in the night sky

With you pants high waisted, damn so fly

We can take a trip to the animal zoo

And laugh at all the funny things that animals do

Like Eugene, you got me straight trippin’ boo

Hope you look at my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too

You say (?) but they already do

You should know by now, it’s you

You crazy for this world Mahmoud

So give us another Holocaust all you want

But you can’t deny that there’s something between us

I know you say there’s no gays in Iran

But you’re in New York now baby

So time to stop hating and start living

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There but for the grace of god…

If moses were Canadian

It’s true: if Moses were Canadian, this would be what the Exodus from Michigan would have looked like.

Pic from this awesome roundup of Russian winter ice pix found via this Japanese blog.

And it reminds me of my music nerd friend Stephen. No matter what music nerd story you have, he can one-up it. No, trust me, he can. I don’t care about your “the time I slept with Mick Jagger” story; thousands of people can say the same (perhaps even tens of thousands?). He can top it with the “time Elvis Costello played an acoustic set in my flat.” He’s from London, and he has many friends who still haven’t left the small ville they called home way back when. Many of them are music nerds as well, and to them he was, one day, attempting to explain the difference between the Canadian music scene and the British music scene. He finally said, “This year, I’ve bought not one but two albums featuring songs where horses go through the ice.”

That about sums it up, no?

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Easter: what REALLY happened

marriedtothesea.com

It explains so much.

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The Elder Gods vs the Great Old Ones: what really went down

It all started out so innocently. Great Cthulhu‘s pal Yoggi had recommended a great new book that he’d discovered at Comic-Con. When Great Cthulhu heard the intriguing title, he decided to check out the competition:

Cthulhu vs American Gods, checking out the competition

That was just the start. What followed was more than mortal mind could bear; the diabolically warring pantheons, pitted against one another to the death in an unholy war whose fury warped the very fabric of space and time, fought and tore, destroying universes uncounted in their savage thirst for victory. Finally, there were only two left. What happened then remains an unspeakable secret to this day…or does it?

An ancient representation purported to be an actual, contemporaneous image of the final confrontation has surfaced. Make of it what you will, but in the name of all that is holy, do NOT stare at it directly. Use a handy mirror or goggles to protect yourself from the annihilating horror of the eldritch image you are about to view.

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Continue reading

Hymn to the JesusPhone: iPhone Taboo

apple tablets revealed

See how behind the times I am? The iPhone Taboo video was uploaded to YouTube just over a year ago and I only got my JesusPhone last month! Well, I’ve finally joined the 21st Century at last. While I’d love to have a bunch of clients who pay me with … you know … what do they call it, that stuff … MONEY! Right, right, “money,” that’s what it’s called.

Yeah.

While I’d love to have a bunch of clients pay me with “money” none of the people who currently beg me to work for them seem to have any of that, so instead we have regressed to a primitive barter system: you buy me drinks and you can ask me questions about WordPress until I’ve finished them. You let me stay in your house for a month at Christmas, eating your food, drinking your wine, and annoying your pets and I don’t make fun of the fact you’re still on Blogspot. You give me an iPhone and I will give your blog a good once-over and update things you never even knew you had.

Now all I need is somebody with a liquor store who wants a Twitter account and I’m golden.

All Hail the JesusPhone!

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