It’s that perennial Christmas favorite from General Ursus; you remember him, the chauvinistic, homicidal military fascist from the Planet of the Apes? not Dr. Zaius, the one with the blog and the snappy musical. The other one.
Played (as always) by GenX icon and YouTube favorite and phenomenon Brian Atene, who teases us that he has more where that came from, going up on Christmas Day.
It’s not the slightest bit Christmassy, but this just can’t wait. Its urgency is palpable. (go on, palpate it)
Spork, a humble re-edit of Zachary Quinto‘s audiobook from the recent Star Trek movie is nothing more than the greatest iteration of fan fiction in the Kirk/Spock slash canon, including the hitherto-untouchable Closer music video.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
stolen from Movieline
His lower lip swollen, Spock looked up at him. It was difficult to tell, but it was possible that he was pleased.
Spock wasn’t finished. Abruptly he stood up. “Gngngfnferrrrnrrfgggg!” Kirk was more than slightly confused. “What?” Spock was forced to swallow.
Go on, read the whole thing at Livejournal. You know you want to.
The Great Crustacean War on Humanity: You’d be surprised at how much material has been suppressed. Go ahead, just try and search for anything, give Cthuugle your best shot. You won’t succeed in finding much at all, and that can mean only one thing:
First, we have this valuable find: an historical document obviously written from the crustacean perspective.
What can it mean?
This, as well, from a book whose deeply sexist title translates as “To Serve Man.”
It’s obvious they’re violent and aggressive.
i can haz werld dominashun?
There is archival footage of at least one series of attacks on human beings:
As if that weren’t enough, Gawker science correspondent Azaria Jagger reports that in the hitherto-thought-mythical Global Warming phenomenon is causing them to mutate, becoming ever larger.
In a warm dystopia many years from now, New York City will be underwater and ginormous mutant crustaceans will roam the globe…
Where will it end? It appears they’ve developed technology to artificially inflate their temperatures and thus accelerate the unnatural and loathesome swelling of their species.
and even adapted to life on dry land, crawling horribly with twitchings and writhings through the forest canopy, from whence to drop upon unsuspecting passers-by.
Remember this one? Of COURSE not!
raincoaster 