Celebrate an Intimate Hanukah

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

Okay, people, it’s NOT JUST ME and my dirty mind that sees something odd about this menorah.

Is it?

Because sure, it looks like a nice, gay-friendly, low-profile, modern menorah.

But it also looks a hell of a lot like a string of anal beads.

Remove candles before use.

PS thanks to, uh, Kate Spade New York for the link? I really, really don’t think they saw the same thing I did here. Kate Spade has impeccable taste. Uh. Tastes.

Julian Assange: shocking suppressed interview!

julian assange needs his personal space. About nine inches of it in fact

Julian Assange needs his personal space. About nine inches of it in fact

While there is no shortage of Assangeology on teh interwebs, this particular interview has never surfaced in the mainstream media: why would that be? Willful suppression? Court order? Self-censorship among a craven, and job-insecure group of journalistic jackals each and every one of which would tear his own grandmother’s living eyeballs out of her skull for the chance at an internship at the Grauniad?

or all of the above?

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog (four million hits! FOUR MILLION HITS! Operation Global Media Domination accepts worldwide accolades; now shut up and buy me some Champagne!) have long had an interest in Assangeology and honest reporting, and it is in furtherance of these twin goals that we present the following, excerpted from that respected media outlet, TheWashingtonFancy:

NYTimes: Why couldn’t you just let real journalists handle these leaks?

Assange: That’s a great question. Why don’t you ask all the whistleblowers.

Heather Brooks: Let’s cut to the chase, sir. Why is your hair gray? There’s been conflicting reports; one claims that it went gray after a sustained custody battle against your ex-wife and the system, while the other maintains that you had a childhood accident with a cathode-ray tube that gave you superpowers. Which is it?

Smirk Julian Smirk

That's not what the photog meant by "show us what you got"

Would you buy this edition of Playgirl?

  • Yes
  • No

View Results

Assange: The tube thing. Definitely.

Heather Brooks: You know I still find you incredibly sexy.

Assange: I know, Miss Brooke. Please let go of my leg.

Guardian: What about the rumor that you’ve agreed to pose naked for Playgirl? Is this true?

Assange: What? Ridiculous. Absolutely not.

Guardian: But you agree that there exists such a thing as Playgirl Magazine? Yes or no?

Assange: Yes.

Guardian: Aha!

Now, do we have any faithful, leaky readers on staff at THAT prestigious publication?

No reason I ask.

Julian Assange is no poodle, teacup or otherwise


When Worlds Collide!!!

Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

via Gawker

This right here? This is the streams crossing. This is the polarity reversing back on itself and swallowing its own tail. This, my friends and stalkers, is the moment for which the celebrity-internet culture was made. Even if it did mortify one of them into deleting his Twitter account (after tweeting a no-doubt-heartfelt “Awkward!“).

This is a picture of fresh-faced ingenue Emma Watson and her perky gay pornalike, Cameron Adams, who played Himmione Grainghim in the extremely NSFchirruns Whorry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls.

SFW no, but amusing, yes. Yes, yes, YES!

From commenter JamesFromCambridge comes this positively magical trailer.

And I’m spent! If you’re not, toddle over to that comments section on Gawker for the biggest damn roundup of filthy Potter puns this side of Repressed Housewife Fanficdom!

Or you could just click past the jump and read some more gossip, if you’ve got the endurance! Once more into the breeches!

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Spockthulhu says Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Spockthulhu says Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. It's only logical.

via JanKarlsbjerg

Oh my god, this makes SO MUCH SENSE! The Vulcan/Romulan split is nothing more than an interplanetary manifestation of the extra-cosmic conflict which rages eternally between the Great Old Ones and the Elder Gods. No wonder I always had a crush on Spock…and just imagine what he can do with all those flexy, flexy appendages! At last, the secret of Pon Farr is revealed: revealed to be nothing more and nothing less than a rite for the summoning of CTHULHU!!!

Does this mean we should ally ourselves with the Romulans to suppress the Great Uprising, or does it mean we should just, you know, like, go with it?


Cthulhu sez Om to the nom nom, baby!

Cthulhu sez Om to the nom nom, baby!

Post-Hump Day Julian Assange Fluffer Unicorn Chaser

Sorry about yesterday: I was travelling and then I was pubbing and then I was sleeping. If I know my audience, you could probably use a dose of cheery-uppy videos and whatnot by this point in the week, so here you go: today’s unicorn chaser roundup

Yes, I bet you didn’t know Public Enemy #1, Information Anarchist and James Bond Villain Julian Assange was a fluffer. But now, we have the evidence:

julian assange is a hardcore fluffer

julian assange is a hardcore fluffer

What? WHAT??? He is TOO straight.

Do click on the image and read the amazing Julian Assange/Harry Potter fanfic. I got no farther than “and he reached into his pants (obviously for his mobile phone)” before losing it completely.

Speaking of gifs of hot men and losing it completely, here is a gif of Prince Harry being adorable with an adorable little kid. Ladies, fasten your ovaries, because they’re going to make a break for it.

Prince Harry is present and accounted for. My ovaries? Not so much.

Prince Harry is present and accounted for. My ovaries? Not so much.

Young Boy: The prince! Where?

Prince Harry: I’m here, it’s me. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s only me

Yeaaaaah. Winning: that’s what it really looks like, Charlie Sheen.

And now for a little dance music: Let’s Dance by Nouvelle Vague, with video from Godard’s Bande à Part. Watching Serge Gainsbourg move, you can see what Fran Lebowitz meant when she said, “People who say they’re really good at dancing mean something entirely different by it.”

And if that hasn’t satiated your appetite for mindless, soothing feel-goodism, here are the celebrity links! Aren’t you excited?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

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