Anon and On

Anonymous vs the Police which is not exactly a new thing

Anonymous vs the Police which is not exactly a new thing

Dear Nonymite: you do realize you’re flipping off the photographer, not the cops, right? Jesus, EVERYONE hates the paparazzi!

Compare and contrast to our earlier Nony in London:

Work it, V!

Work it, V!

This is a democracy! VOTE, DAMMIT!!!

Whichever you prefer, the mere existence of Anonymous reminds us that the present moment, yes, this exact moment, is one that has never come before, and will never exist again. It won’t be long until existing power structures have either shattered into a new, digital Brownian Motion model of solipsistic yet collaborative civilization OR the fascists have infiltrated and wiped out the free thinkers, resulting in something akin to the Orwellian KleptoReich that Putin’s got going in Russia.

And that, my friends, reminds me of this, from the great prophet Hunter S. Thompson. Think carefully about these words, because for just this particular second of time, they apply again.

“It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run… but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant…

History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of ‘history’ it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time — and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights — or very early mornings — when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour… booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turnoff to take when I got to the other end… but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: no doubt at all about that…

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda… You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning…

And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave…

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

Where will you be when it does?

UPDATED: a couple of hours after I posted this, I found the following video, which claims to lay out the one-year plan of Anonymous. Presenting The Plan:

“While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power.”

I have a copy of the Manual of Afghani Jihad (the CIA translation) and selections from the Japanese Kamikaze documents, and said back then that if we in the West had any documents as spiritually compelling as those, we would have no alienated teens, no existential crises. It’s literally unthinkable to most people in the affluent nations that their individual lives could actually have meaning; why is this so, when their nations wield the greatest financial and political power on the planet? When they enjoy personal freedoms undreamed-of in most of civilization and throughout history? Why is this, when destitute citizens of the poorest states on Earth change history every day as if it’s their birthright?

And it is.

Could this video and plan from Anonymous actually be That Call, the call to the hearts of the people of the West, for which we have been waiting?

Only you can answer that.

Batman’s Blind Date Unicorn Chaser

Batman's Buggysnake was HUGE!

Batman's Buggysnake was HUGE!

What’s that they say about not frightening the horses? Now that we’ve set the mood, here is a lovely little video of Batman’s sexiest costars, including everyone from Eartha Kitt to Tallulah Bankhead. Okay, they’re really one soul in two bodies. How about everyone from Zsa Zsa Gabor to Jill St. John…oh, okay, same deelio. Lemme try again.

Well fuckit, just skip ahead to 1:29 to witness Batman having a Brady Fetish Moment.

MARCIA!!!

Doesn’t that just turn your crank?

Batman gets his bat trunks in a twist

Batman gets his bat trunks in a twist

As if that weren’t enough, check out this Euro-fabulous (or is that Brazilian-fabulous) Bat Dance, 100% Prince-free!

and the sequel

But wait: there’s more! Yes, it’s Hump Day, and that means gossip links! And since this roundup took me two and a half hours, you’d better believe you’re only getting one post per blog today! Click over the jump for the extra-elaborate and extra-profane celebrity gossip for the day.

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Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Julian Assange and Private Carleton, FIRST CLASS edition

I don’t know about you (at all. I mean, you could be anyone out there, doing anything, and if you’re the guy who first posted the comment “I can’t fap to this” on a YouTube video, I want to take you out for a drink. But where was I?). I only know about me. Normally, this is enough for me. I’m self-centred. All my personalities are.

But if you were me, you’d be thinking this would make a mighty fine unicorn chaser on a Wednesday hump day.

Julian Assange may still be a little screwy

Julian Assange may still be a little screwy

Because why not? It’s always good to meet a man with his head screwed on right.

And if you’re allergic to Assange, as many of my friends are, then here’s a jaunty US soldier dancing like Carleton from Fresh Prince on top of an armored personnel carrier or tank or some big, macho-type people mover thingy while rockets fly behind him. Like a boss!

Dancing like Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air on top of a M1068 in full gear, while MLRS rockets fly behind me.

Song “Its not unusual” By Tom Jones

Not in Basic Training, No I wont get in trouble for this.

All that AND Tom Jones? I’m in love.

FOUND: Julian Assange’s Secret Father

Jackie Rogers Jr, the world's biggest celebrity

Jackie Rogers Jr, the world's biggest celebrity

This is truly shocking. While it’s no secret that Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has always had a bit of the showman about him, who could have imagined that he came by it genetically. The below video provides, we believe, conclusive proof that the incomparable Jackie Rogers Jr. is, in fact, Julian Assange’s biological father. Watch and see for yourself the stunning resemblance:

Now, compare that white-hot fabulousness with the diva moves on display in the famous Julian vs John Travolta Dance-Off video below:

I think we can consider the matter settled, no?

And in related fabulousness news, click over the jump for today’s celebrity gossip links.

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Rapture Readiness: a Public Service Announcement

In Case of Raptor

In Case of Raptor

We all know the Rapture is coming. And we pretty much all know we, ourselves, are not going to be beamed straight to Heaven by Saint Scotty’s magical transporter, so it behooves those of us who will be Left Behind (shades of grade school!) to prepare as best we might for life in a post-apocalyptic, zombie paradise.

But just in case it doesn’t happen, I’m doing what a Facebook friend suggested, and leaving empty shoes filled with glitter outside all the gay bars I can find, just to confuse the Christians.

In case of Rip Taylor

In case of Rip Taylor

Here’s a very servicey video from our friend FrontierFormerEditor on practical ways to prepare for the looting which will inevitably ensue. Get your shopping carts in good working order now, people!

and if that doesn’t cover all your bases, here is a small roundup of Top Rapture Tweets. Yes, I expect this to trend BIG over the next two days. Apologies I can’t grab the Tweetshots, but Tweetshots appears to have been Raptured already.

  • From ApocalypseHow: Hmm, the world ends the same week as Oprah’s show does? “EVERYBODY gets a CAR! Or thrown into the LAKE OF FIRE!”
  • Bug Girl: A friend suggested we leave empty shoes filled with glitter outside gay bars on Rapture day. I can totes see you doing that :)
  • Sean Percival: How about an inbox rapture instead? Just leave behind the naughty ones like my Agent Provocateur newsletters.
In case of rupture

In case of rupture

And here are zombie invasion survival tips from the Center for Disease Control. Boy, the government looks after everything, don’t they?

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

  • Water (1 gallon per person per day)
  • Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
  • Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
  • Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
  • Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
  • Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
  • Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
  • First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

That is what I call Taking Care of Your People! Remember, it’s time to get that granny cart and the acetylene torch all tuned up. Only 48 Earthly hours left!