Category Archives: zombies

DIY of the Day: Clone a Beatle!

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John Lennon

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for only $48,000 (plus shipping and handling) you, too, could clone your own morose, heroin-addicted musical icon.

A book enclosing a lock of John Lennon‘s hair has been sold at auction for £24,000.

It was part of a lot of items owned by Betty Glasow, former hairdresser to the Beatles…The inscription in the book reads: “To Betty, Lots of Love and Hair, John Lennon…”

Lennon’s hair had only been expected to fetch between £2,000 and £3,000. By our rough calculations, this would put the value of an entire mop-top at around two million pounds.

“[Glasow] feels that rather than these things being stuck in a drawer with nobody enjoying them, real enthusiasts [could] get their hands on these things.” He conveniently leaves out the bits where Glasow rakes in several thousand pounds and creepy Lennon hair “enthusiasts” get their hands on some Fab Four DNA.

Well, exactly!

Think of the fun you could have messing with a weathered-looking Paul McCartney (“ooooh, who’s the pretty one now, eh melad?“) or a professionally-bereaved Yoko Ono (“Daddy’s back, sweetheart! Didja miss me?“). Not to mention Phil Spector! (“Just coom back to give a deposition, pal! Old Ned says hi, see you soon!“).

Or Mark David Chapman.

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Zombie preparedness: the video

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Stolen from CommonCraft via DigitalDoodles and DarrenBarefoot.

Sure, it’s a little late, but when it comes to zombie attack preparedness, better late than never. Also, are you prepared for December 5th? It’s Ninja Action Day. Don’t leave it to the last minute: lay in your ninja, zombie or pirate supplies now, according to your loyalties. If any. When zombies attack, it’s every tentacled being from beyond the star spaces for herself!

quiz: which monster are you?

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Who didn’t see this coming? Which reminds me to book an appointment for waxing…full moon’s not that far away!


You Are a Werewolf


You’re unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.

You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you’re a total monster.

Very few people can predict if you’re going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.

Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature

Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control

You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

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Cthulhu Ctholouring Book

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Cthulhu monsters by mail

Awwwwwwww, isn’t He adorable? So Cthute! Hat-tip to Cobwebs for this one.

Monster by Mail is as bizarre a fundraiser as I’ve ever seen, and as you know, we’re all about the bizarre and somewhat about the raising of funds here (didja notice the Paypal button? Support Operation Global Media Domination Now! Currently the status of OGMD is Global Media Slightly Annoyed, and that simply won’t do!) so here we are, posting about it.

It’s a natural, really. The birth of a baby brings great joy to the family and, not infrequently, thoughts of grim death, particularly at three in the morning when you’ve got a big meeting at eight and the sprog has been trying out for the Olympic Yodelling team for the past four hours.

And it is a fact universally acknowledged that a young, artsie, American couple in possession of a new baby must be in want of a bit of spare cash.

So Monster by Mail was born.

Summer is Here! And you know what that means: BRAAAINS! This round of Monster By Mail is a good-old fashioned standby: Zombies. Here’s how it works. You give me a name for your Zombie and I’ll draw it. You’ll get the original art in the mail within a few days. For an extra ten spot, I’ll make a video of the creation of your monster. And for the best value, choose the Mondo Monster Package* which gets you art, video and a “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Eat Brains” Zombie T-shirt with your order. (See it right here.) (And yes, I can do cartoonish zombie portraits if you ask nicely and provide a decent photo.) So what are you waiting for? Grab a blunt object and let’s start killing… er, drawing some zombies!

And now, the colouring book! Why didn’t I think of this for my birthday? Colouring in a Cthulhu colouring book has got to be the best way I can think of to prevent creeps from talking to you on the bus!



Zombie Letters from e-zombie.com

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zombie hamsters, the whores of Lisle street, the Lord of the Flies, and global warming

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Zombie HamsterIt’s a long story.

First of all, the zombie hamsters were created by rigging up surplus military material to nuke them back to life after they were frozen solid by the Mad Scientists of Mill Hill.

No, I am not making this up.

Second of all, the scientist in charge of hamster zombification was James Lovelock, who later originated the Gaia Hypothesis, for which he is alternately vilified and deified by the Global Warming is an Apocalypse/Global Warming is a Hoax crowd, depending on how literal-minded the reader happens to be at that particular moment.

Third, the Gaia Hypothesis itself was named by the man who wrote Lord of the Flies. Which gives one pause, especially if one is a happy hippie kumbaya life-in-harmony type. Maybe the “Red in Tooth and Claw Hypothesis” was taken?

Fourth, to obtain the components for the hamster zombification machine, Lovelock had to delve deeply into the Red Light district of London, an area whose denizens, it is claimed, held no charms for him. That’s our boy! I’m sure those spinster novelists who were responsible for the creation of the archetype of respectable “confirmed bachelor” would be proud of him.

Actually (fifth!), microwaving the hamsters was an improvement over what they were doing before, which was putting heated spoons on their chests until their hearts restarted. Was one of those Mill Hillers a freebaser, perchance?

In any case (sixth!), it’s a long, strange journey from reanimating cryorodents to inventing the Grand Unified Theory of Planet Earth. But once you realize that the central question is: what is life, the flight plan makes more sense.

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