Political Mistress Poetry

and quite frankly, given the looks of some of them, this is probably as romantic as their textual tributes are every going to get. Why is it that most contemporary political mistresses look so much like giraffes in schoolmarm wigs? Lewinsky may have been chubby, but at least she had fabulous hair.

Christine Keeler

Stolen from Wibbler‘s post on the Boris forum, and quite surprised I was to see it there. It’s originally from Fork in my Eye, which sounds almost as painful as having an affair with a politician.

Political Love Song

I’ll be the Petronella Wyatt
To your Boris Johnson

The shy undergraduate
From Portillo’s youth
More than a footnote
In your memoirs
A flattering testimony
When the papers hear the truth

I’m a diligent under-secretery
Ambitious, sharp and keen
We’ll out-scandalise Profumo
Make Back to Basics Squeaky Clean…

It only gets squidgier from there. Read on at your peril…or your lunch’s.

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quiz: which Narnia character are you?

I would just like to point out that I scored just as high in Aslanishness as in Edmundification, for reference and so there, nyeah.

You scored as Edmund Pevensie. You are Edmund Pevensie. You are always getting into trouble and have a taste for “sweeties.” You care for animals, sometimes more than your family, and dislike criticism and bossiness. You can be very sarcastic and sometimes mean. Although your priorities shift, your heart ends up in the right place.

Aslan
90%
Edmund Pevensie
90%
Peter Pevensie
80%
Lucy Pevensie
75%
Jadis, The White Witch
65%
Susan Pevensie
50%

Which “Narnia” character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

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everything I need to know I learned from Cthulhu

everything, I'm telling you! Mwahahahahahaha!

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quiz: serial killer or programming language inventor?

Bill. Gates. Under. Arrest. And not for making crappy products either 

The overlap is surprisingly small, given that the social skill set for each is identical.

Score: 8/10
Pretty good; it seems you know your JavaBeans from your fava beans,
your slashers from your Slashdotters.

Not too scruffy, considering they actually had two serial killers I hadn’t heard of in the lineup; back to CrimeLibrary for me! Need to tighten up my mad serial killer ID-ing skillz. Thanks to Timethief for the link…gee, she hangs out even weirder places than I do!

I actually frightened my father once…well, a few times, but this once was, we were sitting in his living room watching television and a commercial for some crime show came on. As pictures of each serial killer flashed onscreen, I said their names aloud, just before the announcer did. After twenty perfect hits my father turned to me and said, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

Serial Killer or Programming Language Inventor
Test your skillz here

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cowboy vs ninja: the victory is clear

Yep. I’ll be by to pick up my winnings from all you cowboy-favoring losers out there.

It seems, from a casual surf around YouTube, that they do these kinds of trials all the time.

And the gun always loses.

The ninjas advance to the second round, where they will face this year’s dark horse: Spartans. Place your bets with the tellers now, ladies and gentlemen.

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