Eel City, a wriggle on the wild side

So Judy was here visiting. It was easy to tell it was Judy when she walked into the train station, because there is, in my wide experience (and surely, few experiencers can have had a wider one, what with me having met in meatspace something over 100 people whom I first met online) a certain expression that people have when they’re away from home and meeting up for the first time with some other cybernaut who, come to think of it and they do and BOY do they look worried when they realize this, they haven’t the faintest idea what they look like. And likewise.

MoosehatSo, I was looking for a tall American brunette, and she was looking for a short Canadian blonde with a Moosehat sticker from the Northern Voice blogging conference, and although we are not exactly a dime a dozen, even in the train station, nevertheless the situation is enough to give one pause.

She paused.

With that certain look on her face. That alright now I can figure this out. I can handle this. If she turns out to be a freak there are plenty of people around who can call the cops, and I can always get another train back home look.

And I tried not to have my oh, I’ve seen that look before, newbie look on my face although it must be said that of all the emotions, smugness comes perhaps most easily to me, even when it’s not appropriate, but then when has the fear of looking like a idjut ever stopped me, eh? I ask yez.

And we had a lovely time. I made sure to take her by the library and Canada Place and the Marine building and other suchlike architectural wonders, of which it must be said that Vancouver has very few but as long as nobody tells her different and who’s to do that, she’ll never know the place isn’t larded with gems, eh?

And we went patio-ing. Yes, it’s a verb here. We do a lot of patioing in BC, although we also do a lot of other social things, too, which you can tell from the fact that Whistler has its own strain of genital warts, but we didn’t do any of that.

Especially not on the patio. Hell, it wasn’t the Cambie!

But as we were on the patio, enjoying our refreshing beverages and making amusing comments about some kind of corporate teambuilding exercise which apparently involved vast herds of nerdy-looking men in matching t-shirts running at speed back and forth through the restaurant, it became apparent that Judy was working up her courage. Finally, after an internal struggle and a moment of distracted yet anticipatory silence, it came out.

“So…what is it with you and squid?”

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55 ways to feed the blog

Darren Barefoot, over at Darrenbarefoot.com (how did he come up with that name? really, it’s remarkable the synchronicity you stumble across online, eh) has come up with a great, and universal, list of 55 things to blog about before you die. And you never know when that will be.

So get started.

The first 20:

  1. The Story of My Most Serious Injury
  2. The Person I Admire Most
  3. This Will Be My Epitaph
  4. Why I Love My Hometown
  5. Why I Hate My Hometown
  6. Why I Was a Childhood Bully
  7. How I Shop
  8. How I Choose to Spend My Money
  9. I Wish I Spent Less Money on This
  10. Why I’m in My Current Job
  11. My Ideal Job
  12. My High School Clique
  13. My Worst Subject in School
  14. If I Had a Super Power
  15. Here’s Where My Opinion Differs From the Majority
  16. Why I Voted the Way I Did in the Last Election
  17. Why I Don’t Vote
  18. The Cause I Really Believe In
  19. Why I Came To Religion
  20. Why I Don’t Believe Anymore

That should keep you busy for awhile, particularly if you click through and read the entire list. No more excuses, now! Just hit the keyboard, Gord. Type it all in, Lynn. Click on “Publish,” Trish

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over the viaduct

Yet under the blanket.

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to tolerate the flying vermin which have infested my house for the last three months long enough to blog this, but I’ll try. As I said recently, I don’t look like I’m typing; thanks to the fruit flies which attend every vegan hippie like the pages surrounding Cleopatra, I look like I’m Carol Channing, playing to the back rows on Broadway.

But I’ll try.

—————————————————————

I didn’t really believe it. None of us really believed it. Until the blanket. Until they pulled out the blanket and draped it over him and even then, still, some primal instinct within us was wishing, hoping, truly believing that they’d tuck it under his chin and say, “There you go, Fred,” and he’d say thanks, it’s cold out, but the only one who said it was cold out was the nurse who’d been working on him ever since the car hit him.

And as they pulled the blanket up over his face, it got even colder.

Macleans Magazine: finally newsworthy

The correction they ran, after emailing all (both?) of their subscribers with the offending article:

Macleans magazine

And the potentially offensive subject line?

“Why don’t you go f*@! yourself”

In related news, how much joy do you think it gave the Globe and Mail to run that? NOOOOooobody does po-faced intramural sniping like us Canadians.

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Celebrity Gossip: the roundup!

Garbo

Because I have so many blogs, and because I am yea, very easily confused, forsooth, I wrote a post for Ayyyy.com which place does, in fact and in actuality, pay me to read gossip blogs (NOT kidding. Life is a cabaret, old chum) and say “go look at that…now go look at this…now look at that” etc.

Yes, I am getting paid to read gossip blogs.

My sister is going to eat her lips when she reads that.

In any case, here’s the post that was going to put food on my table this month, until I remembered that I’m only supposed to do this during the week. And it’s the weekend. And I thought, bugger it, I can at least feed the ol’ raincoaster blog with it.

Mindy McCready behind bars, not under them this time (PerezHilton)

Viggo Mortensen‘s computer-enhanced nude scene (Agent Bedhead)

Alyssa Milano: Who’s the Sportsblogger? (Daily Stab)

The Celebrity Cover Corral (Celebrity Smack)

Katie Holmes is no Richard Avedon (I’m Not Obsessed)

OJ Simpson is looking for the real burglars (Holy Candy)

Christina Aguilera visited by the Titty Fairy (Wizbang Pop)

Carmen Electra bringing the respectable back? (Hollywood Tuna)

Angelina Jolie rocks the Mother of the Bride look (Just Jared)

Lindsay Lohan is delusional (and easy) (A Socialite’s Life)

Colin Farrell‘s homeless shopping spree (Defamer)

Ryan Gosling loves his costar (Jezebel)

Larry Birkhead‘s graveside photo-op (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse before the wine (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul has something you don’t…besides memories of sex with Emilio Estevez (Evil Beet)

Prince is suing…YOU! (CeleBitchy)

Well, this should be good for hits.

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