Category Archives: gross

Cthulhu couture!

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Our favorite fashion fuggers have delved deeply into the murky waters which are trends and look at what they’ve fished up from the bottom: fishy fashions; Cthulhu couture; R’lyeh wraps. They’re what everyone is wearing to the formal hoe-down at the Esoteric Order of Dagon Hall (no relation to Anthony Michael Hall).

See for yourself, if you dare. Behold John G’halia-no’s wakame sake-inspired Kelp Me, I’m Falling:

Kelp me I’m falling

And, if you still retain sanity and will, scroll downward to view what every halfbred Deep One will be wearing to her prom, or her Transition, whichever comes first. Behold the Chitin Blossom, from B’hyll Bass.

Scales Dress GFY

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Doing the gene pool a favour

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Sex for dummiesYou know those books…the For Dummies books. They’re pretty good books, all in all, but every now and again they come out with one that makes you think at least some of their target audience works at their headquarters.

Sex for Dummies.

Think about it. Look around you. I’m not sure where you live, but around these parts the dummies are breeding like rabbits. Even Britney‘s managed to drop a couple of spawn, and she’s just a puppy herself. At this rate by 2020 most of Southern California will be descended from Britney Spears, God help them.

But here’s a fellow who knows his station; ya gotta luv him. Me hearts dumb people who know they’re dumb and who know that’s a bad thing. Don’t give me any of this “Dumb Pride” stuff: that shit is whack. It was Camus, the wise, who said that it was the moral responsibility of the intelligent to oppress the stupid, otherwise the stupid would take over the world. I see some of us have been slacking a bit, and just look how that’s turned out!

But Shiv Charan Yadav knows his place and his duty to the gene pool. He’s sworn not to marry until he’s passed his high school exams. He is now 73 and has just failed his 38th attempt. It’s like poor, sweet, decorative John-John, only more like John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John-John- times – 38. Without the looks, money, family, or fame. Or, on the plus side, the pilot’s license.

Shiv Charan Yadav has been taking the exams – normally given to schoolchildren at the age of 15 -every year since 1969, without success. He was in his 30s when he first decided to better himself through education.

This year, he failed everything except Sanskrit, scoring only 103 out of a possible 600 points.

Also, he wants to marry a girl under thirty. Yeah, do you wonder if the papers would happen to be graded by twentysomething local females…it would explain alot.

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Knitting for psychos

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These are so inspiring I may just take up needles again. After all, they’re long, pointy, dangerous items that you can take virtually anywhere; just the kind of thing I normally carry anyway. Timethief passed along the Knitting for Psychos page, which makes me wonder how she spends her leisure hours…is she the twisted genius that made the conjoined twins teddy bear(s)?

Knitting for Psychos

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and now, at the end of days, as the sun sinks, spent, into eternal darkness through sulphurous, striated clouds of irradiated effluence, R’lyeh rises from the abyss, and Nyarlathotep writhes and shrieks in unholy glee at his anchor desk, at last we see the signs clearly

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The man who took this iconic photograph:

Kim Phuc

is also the man who took this iconic photograph:

Paris Hilton

And there you have it; the devolution of civilization, right before our very eyes. As Jezebel says, Paris Hilton is the Kim Phuc of 2007. And Nick Ut is apparently the Cassandra.

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my blog’s packed with porn (and so is yours)

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Rove Poll DanceYay! We got a pressie!

Isn’t that great? YouTube gave us all a super-special surprise today, with their newest, bestest feature: an automatic scrolling ticker of possibly-related videos running across the bottom of every one of our own YouTube videos, right there in our blogs! How sweet is that, eh?

It’s just too bad that there is absolutely no screening for/against porn or graphic, real-life violence anywhere in this process.

Imagine my feelings upon discovering over on the WordPress.com technical help forum that a few of my friends had been enjoying the delights of superfatty porn (900+ pounds! I had a horse that weighed that) on my very blog while I was innocently watching nothing more exciting than the admittedly-delightful Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre performing their classic version of the Seventies outcast anthem Bohemian Rhapsody.

So YouTube thinks it can porn me and send a surprise
So they think they can pwn me and I’ll not get wise?
Oh baby – can’t pull shit like that, baby
Just gotta get it out – just gotta get it outta here

 

YouTube=BoobTube
Snuff films really matter
Your lawyer can see
This shit really matters – to your p/e.

Fatty ArbuckleYes, snuff videos are also featured in the lineup, although not on that particular video; there are many such easter eggs to find if you troll around a bit. These have even more impact when you find them on a child’s blog or a church, mosque or temple blog. How delighted they must be!

YouTube has thoughtfully added a way to shut off this feature, but alas it doesn’t work in WordPress.com blogs at all, so it seems. And it must be shut off video by video, even those in the archives. UPDATE: WordPress itself has figured out a way to circumvent this en masse, and now the feature works on precisely No WordPress.com blogs. Why they thought this “feature” should be the default rather than the option I do not know; or rather, I do: eyeball grabs. Literal versions of this metaphor are visible in the “related videos” to any number of children’s program clips.

How charming: it’s PeeWee’s Playhouse featuring today’s special guest, Willy Pickton!

Update 2.0: and YouTube caves to global outrage. Kinda

YouTube seems to sense disdain towards the new player and decided not to push users to hard (for the time being). So, rather than showing related videos at the bottom of the player (and the two annoying arrows on the two sides that on-click would seamlessly play the next related video) every time users hover over the video, you will see them only if you click on the ‘menu’ button or when the video finishes. In this case, the original video is zoomed out and also displays embedded code and URL of video.

As for the fatty porn: well, they say any more than an SUV-full is wasted…still, I was completely verklempt at the thought that these alleged respectobiggles were scratching their kink porn itches on the ol’ raincoaster blog, for all the world as if it were a sandstone dildo or sumpin. For shame, YouKnowWhoYouAre! And you over two thousand other video watchers today…

And I thought you loved me for my mind.

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