- Faking your own death is good for hits
- Being exposed as a serial killer is good for hits
- Flamewars are great for hits
- If at all possible, blog nekkid. They can tell.
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Category Archives: humor
Jack Fucking Rebney, Master of the Universe
Feast your eyes upon perhaps the greatest fucking goddam motivational sales video in the fucking history of the goddam fucking internets, brought to you by Defamer.
Seriously, I’m thinking that Arthur Miller scripted it and it’s some rough cut of an unreleased “Death of a Winnebago Salesman” project. Wikipedia begs for the update…
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National Salami Appreciation Day!
Okay, so it’s a foreign country. Am I about to pass up a day dedicated to appreciation of the salami, just because it’s only declared south of the 49th parallel? Hardly; you just know that, as with all other trends, it’ll be in Vancouver in 26 months anyway.
So word reaches us at the ol’ raincoaster blog, via cafe cj, that September 7th is, in fact and in actuality, National Salami Appreciation Day. And lo, this is verily exactly the kind of holiday we here can get behind or even in front of, if asked nicely, for in truth we appreciate the salami to no small degree.
What’s your favorite way to celebrate National Salami Appreciation Day? Cafe CJ suggests a number of wholesome activities, although I must confess to a weakness for playing Hide the Salami. You?
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Bored with the Internet?
TELL me about it, newbie.
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Build your own Bionic Woman: free after rebates!
Is this the right place to pass along the information that Angelina Jolie‘s pickup line used to be “five bucks if you can guess what’s real”?
Yes, yes it is.
In related news, the OSI, a branch of the CIA has released a statement via Funnimetrics indicating that, if you wait for the next 30% off sale at Future Shop or something and use all the rebate coupons that have been gathering dust on top of the tv, you can live every Seventies’ adolescent male’s dream and build your own bionic woman, FOR FREE!
For realz.
With the decreasing price of computer equipment and electronics in general, the parts for a bionic person, at one time a prohibitive six million dollars, now costs less that three hundred dollars. During sale weekends at Fry‘s electronics, the OSI claims it can lower that price to zero, or free (sales tax not included). The new motto for the bionic woman project will be, “better…stronger…faster…and cheaper…”
“I remember we had to buy this big Betamax VCR to observe Jamie and Austin’s training. That thing cost thousands…” said retired OSI head of bionic projects, Oscar Goldman.
The government study cost seven million dollars.
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raincoaster 