Category Archives: humor

Amazonia Alph says Spring is Here! Spring 2008!

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You’ve heard of Punxatawny Phil. And mayhap you’ve heard of Wiarton Willie. And you may even have heard that estimates of the accuracy of their spring-predication (or is it predictification or perhaps prognostificationism?) vary from 30-50%.

Or even 0%, some years.

Well, meet the world’s most accurate weather-predictificating critter, with bonus albinofication (it makes them more sensitive to the sun, see, and that’s just got to be a good thing for a weather-predictificator, right?). Yep, Amazonia Alph here predicts that Spring 2008 will be late in arriving.

Amazonia Alph the Albino Aturtle

Let no man say that Amazonia Alph speaks too soon.

Alph currently resides in a palatial villa outside of Rio with his teenage concubines and a large collection of exotic cars, having retired to enjoy his poker fortune, obtained not by winning but simply by taking so long to make up his mind that all the other players had already died.

the birth of a notion

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Well this should get old real fast:

Fake Raincoaster. What the fuck's it LOOK like?

the truth about great inventions

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It’s not pretty, people. Remember what they say about laws and sausage?

Married To The Sea

My Mumps

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Okay, so vaccines might turn you suddenly autistic or whatever. Still, what are your priorities, guys: your brains or your balls?

Yes, that is an actual Public Service Announcement from MumpsSucks, a safety intiative of the Ontario government. Canadians, as we have noted previously, always have the best safety announcements.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Sleep-Deprived Situation

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Because it is late/early and I have been up for 30 straight hours and I am somewhat punchy (and, you might have noticed, somewhat crabby lately), I am going to do a lightning round of Operation Global Media Domination.

Look at the searches that brought people to my blog! Mother would be so proud:

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search Views
my first cthulhu 1 More stats
what does a classy whore look like 1 More stats
ovaltine shirts 1 More stats
britney spears handwriting 1 More stats
goatse 1 More stats
fairy 1 More stats

Yesterday

Search Views
fairy 85 More stats
britney sex tape 62 More stats
cthulhu 41 More stats
britney spears sex tape sex tape 28 More stats
audrey hepburn 27 More stats
steve jobs 20 More stats
christian bale remix 14 More stats
siegfried and roy 14 More stats
winona ryder sex 12 More stats
porn slideshow 12

And, yay, I got in the Vancouver Sun’s Digital Life blog with Fearless City. A couple of times, actually, but I’m too lazy/tired to find the Wordcamp Whistler entry. Oh, here I am; wow, even I am impressed my self-promotional instincts outrank my instinct for sleep right now.