The Decline and Fall in 140 Characters

Have you seen Twitter recently? It ain’t what it used to be, I can tell you that! Not since they let in the Great Unwashed! Why, back in my day we had to type uphill both ways in the snow!

Now, thanks to the magic which is Historical Tweets, you too can enjoy the tweets of some of the greatest historical figures of all time, captured here for posterity’s sake, Twitter’s 3000 tweet archive limit be damned!

Some examples:

Martin Luther King:

Martin Luther King's I have a tweet

Sacagawea:

Sacajawea sez

Harriet Tubman:

Wifi sucks underground

And lastly, some dude from Italy. Now THAT is what you call a flamewar!

That is what you call a flamewar!

and another thing…

Married To The Sea

For fans of flamewars, of which there is rumoured to be an overrepresentation around these parts although who knows, eh? the following transcripts, taken verbatim from the Twitter accounts of your fine blog hostess, mineownself, and John Berringer, will pay handsome dividends. Apologies for not threading them properly: I’m way lazy, yo. Some say these should be private messages, but since when have I ever been accused of an overabundance of … what’s the word … discretion?

For those of you who, quite sensibly, find you have quite a sufficiency of drama in your own lives without bothering your head about anybody else’s, you may click here for a random, and almost 62% likely to be aggro-free, post from the past.

And now, the transcript of raincoaster, in reverse chronological order (you might wish to read from the bottom up). At a certain point I just closed Twitter and went off and did my work; you can tell virtually the exact moment if you read his stream. His (considerably more amusing) stream is just below mine:

Continue reading

everything you wanted to know about Canada but were afraid to ask

Yep, that’s pretty much exactly it: everything you wanted to know about Canada but were afraid to ask, delivered by the funniest man Canada has ever produced, Rick Mercer.

Any questions?

Christian Bale the Dance Remix

What could be more perfect? It’s Christian Bale‘s pottymouthed rant from last summer, remixed and set to a bouncy dance beat. Positively Beyonce-worthy! Click and enjoy, but make sure your boss is either not around or stone deaf first!

via thelondonblog

If, by chance, you can’t stop till you get enough, there’s another one with original lyrics at HolyMoly.

Tea Parties of the Damned!

Sharky Tea Infuser

Here is another in the growing collection of designer housewares from the House of Nyarlathotep. Sure to be popular with all the Australians on your list, this dandy little item is most compelling when dispersing fragrant, uncaffeinated, nutritious hibiscus tea.

Note the beautiful and oh-so-fitting colour trails.

We’ve obtained an exclusive interview with Tea Master Qin-T, of the House of Nyarlathotep, and here’s what he has to say about his innovative and stylish creation:

Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll brew this cuppa for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad tea. The Agony of the Leaves. Not like going down the parlour brewin’ Earl Grey and Orange Pekoe. This tea, you swallow whole. Little shakin’, little slurpin’, an’ down it go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your Vitamin C levels, put all your electrolytes on a metabolically balanced basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my alkalinity a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll brew it for three, but I’ll add lemon, and I’ll add honey, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay healthy, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on Nestea the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many confirmed bachelors on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the buds, the leaves, the whole damn thing.