Operation Global Media Domination: The Cusack Effect

 

GO on, John, rt anything!

John Cusack will rt anything!

 

I was gonna let it go. Gosh, you know raincoaster by now: never one to make a fuss over a celebrity, or drop a name (which reminds me, I owe a blog post to my old sparring partner and blog buddy, Boris Johnson, Mayor of London).

But.

I.

Just.

Can’t.

You know how it is when it’s over; when something that you once counted upon, day in and day out, dries up and crumbles to ashes, then blows away, leaving nothing more than a giant hole in your stats chart?

 

 

Google, didn't we once mean something to each other? I'm even using Chrome!

Google, didn't we once mean something to each other? I'm even using Chrome!

 

Yeah, like that. So that’s how it’s been chez raincoaster lately, now that Google has dumped me (in an apparently bottomless pit). But I’m not bitter. Not me! No, I’m completely SO over that.

And you know how a situation like this, a dumping followed by a deep depression (just LOOK at it! like I spend hours a day doing…but I’m OVER it, I’m telling you!) can often lead to what is known as a rebound relationship? Well, I’ve got one, and it’s even better than Google and its millions of mindless robots. It’s got a mind of its own (to say the least, and I’ve said a great deal more on the subject from time to time).

Well, I’ve found my rebound: John Fucking Cusack. Suck it, Google. Even The Sister dm’d her congratulations; it’s like I got engaged or something!

 

That’s right. The Artist Formerly Known as Shockozulu, John Cusack, who is being followed by 262,116 people, is Following 85 people.

One of them is me.

Then he rt’d my post about Paul Newman three times and this happened.

 

The Cusack Effect

The Cusack Effect

 

Can’t touch this.

Paris Hilton’s Bunny Hutch

 

Paris Hilton was in Donnie Darko? I don't remember that part.

Paris Hilton was in Donnie Darko? I don't remember that part. These remakes have gone too far.

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Fark

Mind you, if Jake Gyllenhaal is in this one too, I’d totally watch it. Some people wonder why Paris Hilton has a movie career, but think about it: House of Wax on DVD = $7 to watch Paris Hilton die!

And now, yes, your Gossip Links. It’s only three times a week, shut up!

Hipster Potter and the Philosophers, Stoned (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Cravat Edition (Ayyyy)
Ozzy and Slash: pocket queens (Lolebrity)
The Gruesome Twosome are no more (CelebrityBeehive)
Kate Moss is just dicking with Pete Doherty now (AgentBedhead)
Alicia Keys popped! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Pink gets on the horn (CelebDirtyLaundry)
We’ll have no Beyonceing here! (CelebritySmack)
Eva Longoria Parker poses next to a Paula Abdul impersonator (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian’s butt armor needs a blacksmith ASAP (GabbyBabble)
NPH officially world’s coolest dad (HaveUHeard)
Katy Perry is no Julie Newmar (INeedMyFix)
What happens in Vegas stays…on PerezHilton (PerezHilton)
St Britney (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
10 best-dressed authors (Flavorwire)

RIP Week, TGIF!

Ashes to Ashes, Beer to Pee

Ashes to Ashes, Beer to Pee

This week is over. Let’s raise a glass of … frankly, anything handy; I’m not fussy… to that!

And now, your Friday gossip link roundup:

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Shadow of a Superstar (Ayyyy)
Katherine Heigl gets the new Colonic Facial (CelebrityBeehive)
Herman. Pee-Wee Herman. (Lolebrity)
Fresh, free-range Hamm (Gawker)
War Dog of the Week (Warning: sappy) (ForeignPolicy)
That’s no lady! (AgentBedhead)
Two minutes and thirty-nine seconds with James Franco (AmyGrindhouse)
Dolph Lundgren is just asking for it (BusyBeeBlogger)
Dora the Explorer on the rocks (CeleBitchy)
Lindsay Lohan is not such a twit anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Kim Kardashian’s snack tray holds a drink (CelebritySmack)
Britney weaned the kids off Cosmos (CityRag)
Cojo vs Ronald McDonald (CojoStyle)
Amy Winehouse crashes a lap (CrazyDaysAndNights)
Wino has “something” up her nose (INeedMyFix)
I SAID, Pull up yo damn pants! (Crunk&Disorderly)
Awww, I bet on Aeschylus (DailyStab)
Sienna Miller loves dressing up in Grandma’s outfits (DListed)
Is Renee Zellweger Bridget Jones or Jennifer Aniston? (EvilBeet)
Gooooood morning, Republicans! (HaveUHeard)
Snooki is a lobster racist! (IBBB)
80′s cartoon trivia quiz (LitelySalted)
Grover stars in new Old Spice campaign (MovieLine)
Amy Winehouse’s Taxi Driver (PerezHilton)
Weird celebrity fetish news (SeriouslyOMG)
Creepy celebrity dolls (ASL)

Soon, I’ll have enough time to do more than just linkposts! Because if there’s some reason I’m too busy to do them, I will hunt that reason down and I will stab it in the eyeball with a chopstick. I promise.

Snooki Booky Wooky Looky

 

The one Thing No One Considered

The one Thing No One Considered

 

Yes, that’s right. Another link roundup. But in this case, it comes with a gut-splitting and completely accurate pie chart, and we all know how you people love your pie charts! Enjoy (and if you don’t enjoy, why don’t you do something to decrease my workload so I have time to actually, you know, blog? Thanks in advance.

Tigercatfight!!! (CelebrityBeehive)
RIP Hipster (raincoaster)
Beavis and Popehead (Lolebrity)
I knew David Bowie. David Bowie was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no David Bowie (Ayyyy)
Mutiny on the Blighty! (AgentBedhead)
Britney’s tribble is looking busted (BusyBeeBlogger)
You don’t have to go all Frankie Muniz (CeleBitchy)
South Park has STANDARDS, PEOPLE!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Justin Bieber is my hero (CelebritySmack)
The Tao of Snooki (CityRag)
Johnny Depp on top (DailyStab)
Courtney Love’s pearl necklace (EvilBeet)
Conan is hot, wet, foamy (GabbyBabble)
They grow up so fast! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Juliette Lewis wreck (HaveUHeard)
Rachel Ray as Snooki as Jessica Rabbit (INeedMyFix)
The Alien Walks (JustJared)
The Green-Eyed Monster! (PopBytes)

Quiz: what kind of celebrity would you be?

Well, OBVIOUSLY!


You Would Be a Witty Celebrity


There’s a good chance that your big break would come from being funny. You have a well crafted sense of humor.

And while you may branch out into other areas, your cutting insight and sarcasm would always be your trademark.

As a celebrity, you would not be afraid of publicity stunts and working the press a little. You wouldn’t take any of it very seriously.

You’d be a celebrity in the mold of Tina Fey, Sara Silverman, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell.

Angels are devils (raincoaster)
Lady Gaga is an ape (Ayyyy)
Survival tips for meeting the savage Naomi Campbell (CelebrityBeehive)
The end of civilization as we know it (AgentBedhead)
This will probably be the most beautiful child ever made (BusyBeeBlogger)
Some fine DNA dodged a bullet with this one (CeleBitchy)
Meanwhile, Gisele is spreading hers around (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Hairless ape has, yes, another book deal (DailyStab)
This is like crossing a Shetland Pony and a Mastodon (HaveUHeard)
Vestigal celebutard, the last of its species, manages to survive (INeedMyFix)
RIP James Dean (Lolebrity)
Former child stars butt heads to establish dominance (PerezHilton)
For conspiracy fans: The Midwich Rockers Approacheth! (PregnancyFashion)