Seldom-glimpsed Great Old One Yog-Sothoth, the All-In-One and One-In-All makes an unusual appearance in London to ponder the fleeting nature of the seasons, to enjoy the stunning views along the river, and to drive a few of the simpering locals into an irrevocable, gibbering, terror-born madness.
NOBODY puts Bubbly in the corner!
Sources reveal that notoriously ambitious, admittedly ruthless international man of mystery recovering journalist Boris Johnson is behind a plot to raise a high-tech man-made island in the middle of the Thames. Whatever his claims that it’s a solution to the Heathrow runway controversy, “Borislandia,” as it has been dubbed, is clearly nothing more than the Blond Bombshell‘s answer to your common or garden bad guy’s island lair.
Personal Ephemera has revealed, for the first time, the secret flag and crest of Borislandia, no doubt soon to become familiar to all of us as it flies over progressively more and more of the world, radiating outward from Borislandia, Islington, and his headquarters in the (infamously size queeny and very Bond Villain/Smarter Imagey) Glass Testicle. Note that when the crest is displayed alone the supporters are an overworked PA on the right and an intimidatingly-groomed PR on the left.
Behold. See it here now, see it on your own block later. First they take Mayfair, then they take Berlin!
“I have respect for broadsheet journalists because
they haven’t succumbed to degrading themselves, to
writing pidgin English with all these terrible
colloquialisms, the phrasing of which is just,
like, embarrassing”
from Popbitch
It’s rare that tottering around YouTube finds one a new classic of the internets, but today it did indeed and in truth do even so. Behold, the London Gay Men’s Chorus performing Coming Out at Christmas:
and these are not the lyrics, but they ARE amusing.
Another Olympic scandal tops the headlines this morning as it is revealed that, in a substitution reminiscent of the opening ceremony’s switched songstresses and faux fireworks, London Mayor Boris Johnson did not, in fact, attend the closing ceremony at all, but instead was replaced by a sophisticated computer-generated animation.
This shocking swap was insisted upon by the Olympic organizers, who had substantial reservations about Mr. Johnson‘s ability to accept and wave the flag without falling down, offending several of the participating nations, or fatally wounding a spectator in a misguided, yet historically correct, attempt to re-create one of the bloodier Olympic events of the Classical Age. After all, the Mayor’s track record is a very public one indeed.
The artificial Boris was, in fact, a compromise reached between the organizers and the British delegation. Originally, the Olympic ceremony management had planned to simply replace Mr. Johnson with a more attractive, dramatically-trained, lip-synching version of the same type.
It is understood that many in the Mayor’s own office have approached the Olympic organizers for permission to continue to use the replicant back home.
raincoaster 