Category Archives: media

Bitter Feast: Revenge is a dish best served cold

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Chef Death

I forget who said that, and am far too lazy to google it, but s/he could well have been talking to the victim of this particular food blogger. Allow me to present (yes, our third YouTube in a row, but it’s too good to pass up) the trailer for Bitter Feast, the tale of one chef’s revenge on a whorish, mean-spirited, lowest-common-denominator pandering food blogger:

via ManoloFood, which says:

The film centers around celebrity chef Peter Gray whose career is ostensibly ruined by a scathing review on the ficticious food blog “Gastropunks.” When Chef Gray is fired (by none other than Mario Batali in a cameo as a restaurant owner improbably named Gordon), he exacts revenge, taking the blogger hostage and torturing him in a series of Food Network worthy extreme cooking challenges. If the blogger can cook a perfect over easy egg, he can eat it; if not  he’s got egg on his face — literally and delivered by way of a sizzling frying pan to the noggin.

Which is (bear with me here) funny. Before you run off screaming and accusing me of being all coldblooded Eating Raul and such, listen up. And think up. Think: do you know any food bloggers? You do, don’t you? And those food bloggers…are they big ol’ meanies like this Gastropunk here, or are they perhaps a little more on the pander-to-Yelp-for-possible-kickbacks-I-MEAN-SPONTANEOUS-GOOD-TREATMENT side? I know many food bloggers, quite a few of whom are fair and principled, and quite a LOT of whom are more interested in pandering to chefs and managers than in pandering to mere readers. Which is to say that disinterestedly critical food blogs are a rare phenomenon, and that this movie isn’t just fiction: it’s speculative fiction, something like a Cuisinart Jurassic Park.

Can you IMAGINE what things would be like if there were, say, an island of truly snarky, untamed bloggers roaming free? It’d be like…Manhattan!

I couldn’t find any “what kind of food critic are you” quizzes, but I did find a Personality Disorder test, a What Nut Are You quiz (you MUST be one, if you’re a blogger, right?), What Herb Are You (I’d rather be Kiki!), and What Taste Are You (you’ll have to ask my ex). So, enjoy?


You Are a Pistachio


You are funky, freaky, and a total character.

You’re very different than anyone you know.

There’s no way you’re changing the way you are…

Which is good, because no one wants you to change.

You Are Cinnamon


You are intelligent and complex. You are both mild mannered and intense.

You are passionate to the point of being overpowering. People can’t ignore your presence.

You are always questioning and learning in your life. You’re on a bit of a spiritual journey.

You are drawn toward power and success. You are never quite satisfied with your achievements.

You Are Bitter


You aren’t bitter at the world, even though you have a strong personality.

Instead, you are sophisticated and cultured. You appreciate acquired tastes.

You are very powerful. You have the ability to change a room’s energy.

While some may find you disagreeable, your points of view are intelligent and interesting.
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Cthulhu Sex Tape Shocker!!!

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Cthulhu finds his dream job

Appalling, yet undeniable. Even Mighty Cthulhu, devourer of souls, ravenous feaster of darkness who thrives on terror and the shrieks of the innocent, has fallen this low. I mean, crabs had to come from somewhere, amirite?

First, Cthulhu goatse photos leaked to the internet. Now, a blurry, night-vision sex tape. I ask: Can a reality show be far behind?

These black dicks are outta control!

Those aren’t snakes, boyo.

You cannot resist CTHULHU

Yeah, honey, don’t even THINK about going to the Labour Board with this. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!

Bonus: here’s a cute little tune, Hey There Cthulhu, which is a handy-dandy pronunciation guide to all the Cthulhu Mythos’ most baffling terms, in an attractive, neo-folksy package.

HEY THERE CTHULHU
(Lyrics from the Evilbore forum, but [ahem] spelling corrected; what? are you afraid of summoning Him?)
lyrics copyright © 2008 by Eben Brooks and Allison Lonsdale

Hey there Cthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.

Cthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Cthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true

(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me

Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee

So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear

(Chorus)

A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!

Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!

(Chorus)
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me

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coworking at BOB: re-open for business

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Coworking at BOB lounge area by AHA Media

As guests of yesterday’s Net Tuesday event or last month’s Social Media Club Vancouver panel will have noted, the gorgeous coworking gallery at BOB is open for business once again and looking for hot-desking cultural creative nomads in search of a home.

The space is enormous, and includes:

  • 15′ ceilings and art-ready walls and display cabinets (got some paintings you want to hang? talk to us)
  • keyless, secure entry
  • secure bike storage
  • access from 9am till very, very late (ie whenever I go home, which is generally not before 6am)
  • large kitchen area with microwave, fridge and freezer
  • private lockers
  • robust wireless
  • a funky polished concrete floor
  • hot and cold filtered water thanks to Wa2
  • projector and smartboard
  • cleaning service
  • rosewood desks and cushy ergonomic chairs
  • a social lounge area with a sofa, armchairs and an extensive window seat
  • two washrooms, one handicapped-accessible
  • space for (at maximum) 25 creative ninjas to work at any given time
  • in the heart of Chinatown and just blocks from Gastown
  • handy to Skytrain, buses and excellent pubs and restaurants
  • literally next door to a Waves cafe, if you’re already addicted to their coffee!

And, of course, the fabulous company of your peers. And me.

Sheng High by Trimpin

This is what the coworking gallery looked like during the Cultural Olympiad, when we had an exhibition by the sound sculptor Trimpin.

If you’re a recovering or current civil servant and prefer PDFs to all other forms of communication, here’s our downloadable flyer. In fact, why don’t you print out a couple of dozen and pass them out? No? Okay, maybe just one for the staffroom corkboard?

We’ve also been featured extensively in blogs, other blogs, other blogs, coworking blogs, on Facebook, on Flickr, and the mainstream media.

How much will this glorious work environment set you back? Only $200 a month, less than half of what Workspace used to charge. Half-month trials are also available, for $100. If you’ve got a small company and need multiple desk spaces, we can work something out. And we are available for special event bookings, subject to availability and usage. Talk to us.

We’re looking for do-gooders, writers, tech workers, SOHO ninjas and all variety of interesting, creative people who are looking for something more copacetic than a cafe, more professional than the dining room table. Give us a call at 778-328-7664 or email raincoaster at gmail dot com and we can show you around.

Here we are a few months ago, under construction:

Coworking at BOB gallery view by AHA Media

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Sandra Bullock’s Sex Tape

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Ooooh, this is ugly.

You’ve read the revolting rumours about the Sandra Bullock sex tape, featuring America’s Sweetheart and that low-life, unworthy scumbag who crawled into her bed while she was drunk or something.

Unspeakable. Disgusting.

And, of course, now presented for your enjoyment by the ol’ raincoaster blog. Watch it while you still can:

Oh my, she IS nasty, isn’t she? “While You Were Sleeping…On My Face” is a helluva title!

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iPad news: Yes, it will blend

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As if there was ever any doubt.

Cringe, fanboys, in naked horror before the awesome power of the Blendtec blender as it pulverizes the holy Pad of glory.

As you can see, the first challenge is getting it to fit in the blender. After that, it’s just a matter of RPMs over APIs.

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