Another in our series of shockingly accurate internet quizzes. Why, I’ve even blogged about being a spotted horse before. I’d really rather be an Arabian, except for the inconvenience at US border crossings.
You Are an Appaloosa Horse
You are extremely independent and even a little stubborn. You always do your own thing.
You have an amazing endurance, and you can soldier on through almost anything. You’re one tough cookie.
You are quite intelligent and resourceful. You enjoy solving problems, and you’ve definitely got some street smarts.
You work hard and never give up. You are loyal and reliable… you always get the job done.
Once again, this blog is on the very forefront of fairy science as we reveal this shocking photo evidence that, as alluded to in the Victorian document known as “Peter Pan,” fairies are not only quite real (which the cognoscenti have known all along) but can actually die! This photo makes explicit what the timid author Barrie dared not even hint: that they can return to a hideous kind of animation after death, becoming zombie or skeleton fairies, consumed by malevolence and driven neither by hunger nor thirst, but only by the relentless, perverted need to kill, and kill again.
O cursed is the world that contains such abominations! Undead skeletal fairies, roaming the forest in search of innocent victims to torture! What unspeakable evil could have dreamed such perversion? Who can be behind this eldritch and unnameable madness?
Mohammed demonstrates REAL Radical Islam on Draw Mohammed Day
This would make an AWESOME tapestry, dude.
UPDATE: Facebook has taken down the Page of Draw Mohammed Day; apparently the Farmville revenue from Pakistan was worth more than their reputation as a platform for nonviolent groups to communicate. Who knew? (we all did, deep down). I’ll give five juicy Canadian dollars to the first person to do an image of Mark Zuckerberg as the Prophet Mohammed. I mean, it makes sense, right? It explains collusion, right?
Chris Crocker sez leave mohammed alone on Everybody Draw Mohammed Day
UPDATE UPDATED: The WordPress.Com blog is still up, and holds nothing sacred (most particularly not the English language, but you don’t see Shakespeare telling Hamlet to off them, now do ya?
Update UPDATE UPDATED: I grabbed a cached version of the FB page, but it’s gibbled a bit gibbled to the point I had to delete it, sorry.
Yes, today is the day we stand in solidarity with terrified Danish ink addicts everywhere and scrawl out our best portraits of the Prophet Mohammed, a day born of controversy, of conflict, of (apparent) confusion. I mean…
Nihad Awad says “freedom of expression does not create an obligation to offend or to show disrespect to the religious beliefs or revered figures of others.”That is quite literally correct; it is important to note that freedom of expression does not create obligations: it creates freedoms.
Appalling, yet undeniable. Even Mighty Cthulhu, devourer of souls, ravenous feaster of darkness who thrives on terror and the shrieks of the innocent, has fallen this low. I mean, crabs had to come from somewhere, amirite?
First, Cthulhu goatse photos leaked to the internet. Now, a blurry, night-vision sex tape. I ask: Can a reality show be far behind?
Those aren’t snakes, boyo.
Yeah, honey, don’t even THINK about going to the Labour Board with this. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!
Bonus: here’s a cute little tune, Hey There Cthulhu, which is a handy-dandy pronunciation guide to all the Cthulhu Mythos’ most baffling terms, in an attractive, neo-folksy package.
Hey there Cthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.
Cthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Cthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true
(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me
Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee
So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear
(Chorus)
A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!
Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!
Yes, Sami Salo’s not-quite-ruptured-but-seriously-slapshotted testicle has spoken. And to me, no less! Now get your ass over to TheCelebrityIndustrialComplex at TrueSlant and read the article in which I quiz Sami Salo’s ball! It’s the first time I’ve ever interviewed a celebrity testicle. Hell, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen balls that speak for themselves!
,” fairies are not only quite real (which the cognoscenti have known all along) but can actually die! This photo makes explicit what the timid author Barrie dared not even hint: that they can return to a hideous kind of animation after death, becoming zombie or skeleton fairies, consumed by malevolence and driven neither by hunger nor thirst, but only by the relentless, 
raincoaster 