This is remarkable video of one of LA’s most secretive police units, ICE: Illegal Canadian Enforcement. They sweep the streets clean of Canuckistani invaders, tipped off by nothing more than a glimpse of an NHL jersey, a whiff of maple syrup, or just a whistled bar of “Snowbird.”
Fear them.
Stolen from EvilBeet
Another Olympic scandal tops the headlines this morning as it is revealed that, in a substitution reminiscent of the opening ceremony’s switched songstresses and faux fireworks, London Mayor Boris Johnson did not, in fact, attend the closing ceremony at all, but instead was replaced by a sophisticated computer-generated animation.
This shocking swap was insisted upon by the Olympic organizers, who had substantial reservations about Mr. Johnson‘s ability to accept and wave the flag without falling down, offending several of the participating nations, or fatally wounding a spectator in a misguided, yet historically correct, attempt to re-create one of the bloodier Olympic events of the Classical Age. After all, the Mayor’s track record is a very public one indeed.
The artificial Boris was, in fact, a compromise reached between the organizers and the British delegation. Originally, the Olympic ceremony management had planned to simply replace Mr. Johnson with a more attractive, dramatically-trained, lip-synching version of the same type.
It is understood that many in the Mayor’s own office have approached the Olympic organizers for permission to continue to use the replicant back home.
It was Lisanti that started it, on Twitter. Cultural phenomena used to start in Rome and were carried, over the course of years, to the outer reaches of Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Now they start on Twitter.
Sic transit Gloria I didn’t know Gloria took public transit, now where was I?
Oh yes, talking about decadence and cultural devolution and short attention spans. And Twits. Tweets. Whatevers.
@lianamaeby Have you considered the possibility that Jason Schwartzman is fucking atop your building’s dryer?
He sez. And he goes on, all unashamed-like:
It occurred to me that some of you may not be interested in who might be fucking atop @lianamaeby dryer.But I say dryer-humping is beautiful.
It is at this point that I recall hazily that it was on Lisanti‘s watch that Defamer posted the notorious Peer Pressure video. Peer Pressure? you ask, or you do if you’re not too undercaffeinated to recognize a cue when you see one. Peer Pressure, the glorious YouTube record of the Pathetic, Skeezy, Gangsta-Lite, Ottoman Gang-Banging Empire.
This:
Previously, of course, there was the brain-scarring Chachi Loves Couches incident, of which we shall not speak. It is still too painful.
And where has it gone from there? From the obviously diseased mind of a broken and twisted blogger, cast aside by Technorati and wandering now in the wilds of Tumblr, where the tumblrweeds are all following one another. Also: size queen!
Which he stole from BrianVan.
But now the meme (I said meme; shoot me if you must) has broken free of its moorings and is careening about the memosphere, infecting all in its path. First Silverstar, then Az:
Where will it end???
Boston?
Even the Germans?
It’s been a banner day (or would be, if banners were hung for this and I suppose if they were you’d probably have to call it hanged anyway, at least if you had a pretentious editor you would) for ridiculous weapons around the U. S. of A. which increasingly appears to stand for the Unhinged States of Absurdity, for lo, on one simple, time-wasting cruise through Fark we netted all of the following very ripe fish:
The gnome, about a foot tall, wore a hat, a blue shirt over a bulging stomach and a wide grin as it sat on a table in open court throughout the two-day trial. Morrison and the weapon were separated by about 2 feet of table, with the gnome facing the defendant.
Russell Kranz said he begged his wife not to kill him and was struck in the face with large numbers of tomatoes, the complaint stated.
Sheriff’s officers reported tomatoes were crushed “everywhere” in the residence.
and last but not in this ex-barista’s heart least is:
“He has underwear over his face, he’s wearing hot pink panties now and the underwear that he was wearing is over his face and there’s a little peephole so he can see,” Feddock said.
… They tried to get a look at the man’s license plate, but that too was covered up with women’s underwear.When the man came back a third time one of the baristas took a cup of scolding [sic] hot water and doused him with it.
“Kylie opened the door and threw boiling hot water on his face and his chest and he said oooh yeah,” Feddock said.
Police are seeking a clean, filthy suspect.
I have absolutely zero belief that posting this won’t generate blowback, but what the hell: it’s funny. And it’s not as if I don’t make fun of the non-addicted as well. We are equal-opportunity snark around these parts, I tell you.
And so we at the ol’ raincoaster blog present Allison from Intervention, remixed to her favorite tune, Walking on Sunshine which poppy summer delight will never be the same again.
raincoaster 