Category Archives: Singles

Natalie Portman wants you to marry your boyfriend (updated)

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Natalie Portman, homophobeUPDATED: now that’ I’ve drunk my coffee, I see I completely misinterpreted things. All corrected!)

If Natalie Portman has ever put so much as a pinkie toe wrong since she began her career at, what, 12? I certainly never heard about it.

The accent in V for Vendetta notwithstanding.

And she doesn’t even come from some fringe Yahoos For Jesus cult: she’s a good, old-fashioned Jewish girl.

So it is with relief that we read the following quote attributed to Miss P:

“I’m not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it. … Committing yourself to one person is sacred.”

And the future Natalie Portman Broadway musical gets moved to the fast track!

Halloween Costume of the Year

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Halloween Costume of the Year

Seen at the Skytrain Halloween Party on the Broadway Station platform, about which more later…but definitely the best costume out there. More than one group of tourists wanted to get their picture taken with him, although the men generally steered clear of him and pretended he didn’t exist…as they walked slowly by, turning beet red. I told him not to gesticulate too much, for then he lumped up and looked like he was going as “And this is your poontang on HPV”.

Second best was the fellow who dressed as The Son of Man, by Rene Magritte. Apparently, the party was full of art majors, because everyone got it, unlike the time I went as the Empire State Building. You’da thought the airplane deely bobbers and the monkey around my neck would have given it away, but no. Next time I hold the Barbie Doll too.

Magritte

Harry Potter naked, coming soon to a theatre near you!

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Daniel Radcliffe, skyclad

Provided you live in Manhattan, that is.

Yes, child star (ah, they grow up so fast, don’t they?) Daniel Radcliffe will be bringing his jailbaitalicious skyclad junk to Broadway. To be fair, his performance in Equus was by all accounts quite good, and North America has not yet had the opportunity to get our knickers (if any) in a twist about the fact that the role involves smoking, so it’s not as if this is simple pandering to a continent greedy for wizard-perving. It’s not as if we’ve been deprived, after all.

But raincoaster sources suspect something else. A different, more sordid explanation. We believe that the real reason behind the revival of a somewhat elderly yet not quite classic play is the simple fact that Daniel Radcliffe is an exhibitionistic, pervy sex maniac whose needs could not be met by his own nation of 60,776,238!

And this does indeed take us to our happy place. How much to stage this at The Centre?

Lolgoth #21? Something like that: mai andrawjinee

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mai andrawjinee

source

what this world needs is more singing, dancing contraception

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If they could somehow work jazz hands into this, it would be just about perfect.


NSFW if your boss is really, really uptight about cross-sectional illustrations of gay sex, or maybe also wooden dildos

Here, via The Manolo, is the singingest, dancingest Bollywood-fabulousest subtitlediest condom commercial you’ll ever lay eyes on. They’re like the Teletubbies of the prophylactic world!

It’s remarkable that somehow the Third World got the jump on us in this regard, but here is the proof. Surely, surely, if North Americans had condom commercials featuring Paula Abdul choreography and Celine Dion vocals, maybe throwing in some Sigfried and Roy or Zac Efron for the boys, we could eliminate unintended pregnancy overnight! Up With People and the whole celibacy movement just haven’t got the showbiz pizazz to pull it off. I mean, what can you do when Blair from Fats of Life is the best you’ve got? We need to ramp up the production values if this is ever going to work…as they said in Earth Girls are Easy, Southern California has the cosmetology equivalent of Stealth technology. The same can be said for its entertainment. What’s the first step?

First, we sign Bob Evans. Then, we wait, baby. Then we wait.

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