Category Archives: Singles

emoticons of the gods

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Here, by way of UniqueDaily (for whose 286 clickthroughs to SuperOctopus we are very grateful indeed) is the super global masterlist of internet emoticons. From Midget Smileys to Mega Smileys, it’s got them all.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, emoticons are what geeks have instead of facial expressions, body language, or interpersonal skillz.

Some practical examples you can put to immediate use in your daily lives:

{:-) User wears a toupee.

}:-( Toupee in an updraft.

:-[ User is a vampire.

:-E Bucktoothed vampire.

:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.

-:-) User is a punk rocker.

-:-( Real punk rockers don’t smile.

(8-o It’s Mr. Bill!

d8= Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.

C= 2>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.

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quiz: will the Giant Squid of Hogwarts go out with you?

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Come on, admit it: you’ve been dying to find out but too shy to ask. Well, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have stepped up and found you the one definitive and world-beatingly authoritative quiz that will answer this heart-pounding question once and for all.

Cuz we’re all about the service journalism here, as you know.

  Harry Potter Quiz: Will The Giant Squid Go OuT wiTh U ?!  

Yes, Squiddy and u will spend your time water Skiing and diving and looking at the Cute Fishes .. but you’ll probably end up being best Friends, after all u cant love a squid who eats Fish !
Take this quiz!

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| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Hmmm, on the other hand I begin to suspect that the author of this quiz needs to learn more about birds and bees before she goes writing quizzes purporting to answer questions about squids and fish-eating and suchlike activities.

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The Pirate Rap

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What can we learn from this latest example of another highly educational and uplifting squid-related video on the service-driven and ennobling ol’ raincoaster blog?

Hot girls are cheap, plentiful, and obviously desperate for work in Hollywood.

Word to the Kracken.

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Political Mistress Poetry

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and quite frankly, given the looks of some of them, this is probably as romantic as their textual tributes are every going to get. Why is it that most contemporary political mistresses look so much like giraffes in schoolmarm wigs? Lewinsky may have been chubby, but at least she had fabulous hair.

Christine Keeler

Stolen from Wibbler‘s post on the Boris forum, and quite surprised I was to see it there. It’s originally from Fork in my Eye, which sounds almost as painful as having an affair with a politician.

Political Love Song

I’ll be the Petronella Wyatt
To your Boris Johnson
The shy undergraduate
From Portillo’s youth
More than a footnote
In your memoirs
A flattering testimony
When the papers hear the truth

I’m a diligent under-secretery
Ambitious, sharp and keen
We’ll out-scandalise Profumo
Make Back to Basics Squeaky Clean…

It only gets squidgier from there. Read on at your peril…or your lunch’s.

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quiz: serial killer or programming language inventor?

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Bill. Gates. Under. Arrest. And not for making crappy products either 

The overlap is surprisingly small, given that the social skill set for each is identical.

Score: 8/10
Pretty good; it seems you know your JavaBeans from your fava beans,
your slashers from your Slashdotters.

Not too scruffy, considering they actually had two serial killers I hadn’t heard of in the lineup; back to CrimeLibrary for me! Need to tighten up my mad serial killer ID-ing skillz. Thanks to Timethief for the link…gee, she hangs out even weirder places than I do!

I actually frightened my father once…well, a few times, but this once was, we were sitting in his living room watching television and a commercial for some crime show came on. As pictures of each serial killer flashed onscreen, I said their names aloud, just before the announcer did. After twenty perfect hits my father turned to me and said, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

Serial Killer or Programming Language Inventor
Test your skillz here

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