Operation Global Media Domination: Viggo Women Friends!

 Viggo

Apparently, when you do a search on CNN.com for “Viggo women friends” my blog is on the first page of the results.

Now, while we have been known to let the odd Viggo pearl drop around these parts (mostly they’re mopped up with kleenex, actually), we would like to say that as far as this goes, Viggo and I are just good friends. There is no further comment at this time.

Celebrity Gossip: the roundup!

Garbo

Because I have so many blogs, and because I am yea, very easily confused, forsooth, I wrote a post for Ayyyy.com which place does, in fact and in actuality, pay me to read gossip blogs (NOT kidding. Life is a cabaret, old chum) and say “go look at that…now go look at this…now look at that” etc.

Yes, I am getting paid to read gossip blogs.

My sister is going to eat her lips when she reads that.

In any case, here’s the post that was going to put food on my table this month, until I remembered that I’m only supposed to do this during the week. And it’s the weekend. And I thought, bugger it, I can at least feed the ol’ raincoaster blog with it.

Mindy McCready behind bars, not under them this time (PerezHilton)

Viggo Mortensen‘s computer-enhanced nude scene (Agent Bedhead)

Alyssa Milano: Who’s the Sportsblogger? (Daily Stab)

The Celebrity Cover Corral (Celebrity Smack)

Katie Holmes is no Richard Avedon (I’m Not Obsessed)

OJ Simpson is looking for the real burglars (Holy Candy)

Christina Aguilera visited by the Titty Fairy (Wizbang Pop)

Carmen Electra bringing the respectable back? (Hollywood Tuna)

Angelina Jolie rocks the Mother of the Bride look (Just Jared)

Lindsay Lohan is delusional (and easy) (A Socialite’s Life)

Colin Farrell‘s homeless shopping spree (Defamer)

Ryan Gosling loves his costar (Jezebel)

Larry Birkhead‘s graveside photo-op (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse before the wine (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul has something you don’t…besides memories of sex with Emilio Estevez (Evil Beet)

Prince is suing…YOU! (CeleBitchy)

Well, this should be good for hits.

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I was bitten by a poisonous spider

Shelob

and it died.

Think about that the next time you try to get in my face about … anything at all.

I’m just saying.

PS: so there are black widow spiders here in Vancouver. You learn something new every day, eh?

Give me my footie pjs, put on my cat; I have
Immortal longings in me: now no more
The juice of the Okanagan‘s grape shall moist this lip:
Yare, yare, good CG; quick. Methinks I hear
Viggo call; I see him rouse himself
To praise my noble act; I hear him mock
The luck of spammers, which the gods give men
To excuse their after wrath: baby, I come:
Now to that name my courage prove my title!
I am tentacles and marabou; my other elements
I give to baser life. So; have you done?
Come then, and take the last warmth of my lips.
Farewell, kind CG; blog readers, long farewell.

What, I’m still here? Damn, now what am I gonna do with this soliloquy? I h8 anticlimax!

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Regis Raw

The Reej lays it down righteously, slammin’ celebs and keepin’ it real, yo, with a little help from DCLugi.

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Viggo Mortensen vs Evil Elf

Well, perhaps not “vs” per se. He was too startled to put up much of a fight.

From the Archive and North Country Public Radio‘s website, and more or less another lifetime. Pictures and nicer formatting will have to wait till tomorrow, but will be provided. Sorry, no Speedo shot. Warning: I believe this one tops out at 23,000 words. Get yourself a drink. While you’re up, get me one too.

Viggo and me

February 27, 2003: Tripping

Viggo Mortensen, the actor best known for his role as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, returned to his native North Country to open an exhibition of photographs and read poetry at his alma mater, St. Lawrence University in Canton, New York. As soon as the trip was announced, fans of Viggo (and all things middle-earthly) began to plan an invasion. The following account was written by a fan from Vancouver known as Evil Elf.

———————————————————–
There are so many reasons this trip is impossible. So many GOOD reasons. It IS impossible. But of course that has no bearing on the situation whatsoever; we are dealing with Americans here.

So here I am in the Vancouver International Airport, on my way. Clearly, however impossible the trip is, it is more impossible NOT to go. It is certainly impossible to change the mind of a Connecticutite once it is made up, that I know for sure.

It’s all Ara‘s fault. Ara short for Aragrothien. Ara, like me, is a Viggofan. Should I back up a bit? No, why should you be any less confused than me, eh? So Ara, who lives in Connecticut, got talking to some of the other Viggo Mortensen fans on the fanbase, www.viggofanbase.com/modules/news, and she, dragonlady, gubydal, pandora, you know, that lot, well they are on their way right now to Canton, New York to see Viggo. He’s doing a big booksigning and art show and suchlike at his old alma mater, Saint Lawrence University. And these ladies decided amongst themselves and for God knows what reason that their trip would not be complete without the presence of Evil Elf herself.

That would be me.

Now ordinarily it’s just not to hard to get me out to meet a man who paints, writes, takes photographs, and acts well; it is even easier when he is tall, blond, blue-eyed, handsome and single.

Gotta dash, more later!

Evil Elf, Vancouver BC
President and CEO
Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow!
Evil Elf the One and Only
The Nubby Kanuck
Viggo’s Athletic Supporter

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