Seriously, normal service shall resume shortly. But until it does, play with this funky, website-freakinating and bustickating toolbar, via Collin. Don’t forget to pull his finger!
Not Collin’s. God’s!
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and it died.
Think about that the next time you try to get in my face about … anything at all.
I’m just saying.
PS: so there are black widow spiders here in Vancouver. You learn something new every day, eh?
Give me my footie pjs, put on my cat; I have
Immortal longings in me: now no more
The juice of the Okanagan‘s grape shall moist this lip:
Yare, yare, good CG; quick. Methinks I hear
Viggo call; I see him rouse himself
To praise my noble act; I hear him mock
The luck of spammers, which the gods give men
To excuse their after wrath: baby, I come:
Now to that name my courage prove my title!
I am tentacles and marabou; my other elements
I give to baser life. So; have you done?
Come then, and take the last warmth of my lips.
Farewell, kind CG; blog readers, long farewell.
What, I’m still here? Damn, now what am I gonna do with this soliloquy? I h8 anticlimax!
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I’m just going to assume you know what I’m talking about, because after all, we’re all adults on the internets and we have been around a turn or two, didn’t just fall off the novelty USB device truck, we’ve had it in the ear before.
So. Goatse And The Eight Phases Thereof: a photoessay
A phenomenon known as “goatse” has taken the internet by storm, in what has become the fad from hell that just won’t die. Don’t know what goatse is? It’s a picture, go look it up, can’t miss it. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the goatse is…you must see it for yourself….
And when you do…
Phase 1: Shock
“OMGWTF!” *MINIMIZE……*
all the way to:
Phase 7: Enchantment
“Only on teh intranet! What a delight!”
And beyond!
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Well, a hedge fund manager explains in unique, hedge fund managerial style; which is to say, you might as well take a hit of acid, down a few fingers (say, nine) of tequila, and put on an audiotape of the Math Olympics while watching an old 16mm reel of The Candidate simultaneous with a laserdisc copy of How to Get Ahead in Advertising. It’s Fear and Loathing in East Hampton, baby, so fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Well, for those of you with money, anyway. I, on the other hand, haven’t lost a cent! Ha, ha, ha! Where did I put that Janis Joplin album…?
So here, without further ado, is the simple, straightforward explanation of the global economic brainfart that just wiped out a significant, if small, percentage of the money of really, really obscenely stinkin’ rich people. Warm up your teensy, tinesy violins.
Hedge-Fund Guy Atones for
His Subprime Bond Sins
By Mark GilbertAug. 16 (Bloomberg) — Dear investor, we’d like to take this opportunity to update you on the recent performance of our hedge fund, Short-Term Capital Mismanagement LLP.
As you know, market selection for the entire fund is guided by a proprietary investing tool we like to call “a dartboard.” Once the asset classes are decided, individual security selections are generated by digitizing our unique hexagonal cuboid models.
Unfortunately, it transpires that our hexagonal cuboids are not as unique as we thought. Hundreds of other hedge funds possess identical dice. The technical term for this is a “crowded trade.” You may also see it referred to as “climbing on a bandwagon already headed for the wall.”
As our alpha generation collapses, our beta has turned negative, our delta hedging has gone toxic and, trust me, you do not want to hear about our gamma. We can’t even find our epsilons in the dark with both hands…
and so on, at length. I think their bonus is calculated by the wordcount.
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You Are a Carousel |
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You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure. In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of. And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal.Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy. You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you. You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you. Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children. At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative. Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully. At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy. You’ve been known to act like a brat if you aren’t getting your way! |
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raincoaster 