A Man of Mystery

Russell Crowe, before the paunch

For no reason I can imagine except that my life has been deprived of it so far, a DVD of the movie Gladiator has just shown up in my mailbox, purchased from Amazon on my behalf by a name I do not recognize with no further contact details.

Hmmmmmmm.

The only person who’s really been outraged by the fact that I haven’t yet been exposed to the buff and beefy (instead of just puffy) version of Russell Crowe is a gay man whose name is definitely not the one on the receipt.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh well, the timing couldn’t be better as I will be taking it easy today as I was up till all hours last night with the Shebeen Club drinking: one Strongbow (why do I do this? why do I inventory it?), two and a half glasses of wine which Lydia bought, one Highland Park 12 year old whiskey which I bought (and bought Lydia one, leaving me effectively penniless till the paypal hits the bank around Friday) and then ran into an old friend on the way home who waylaid me for another two (or was it three?) pints of Dead Frog Nut Brown Ale at the ‘Ho.

You know? The ‘Ho? It doesn’t blow!

A friend of mine got taken to the Ivanhoe for her first legal beer on her birthday. I don’t know how many she had, nor does she because she had that many. How many? So many she passed out and woke up around three in the morning, sitting in a corner with her purse in her lap and a blanket thrown over her. Nothing was missing, either.

Note To Self

re: wearing low-cut dresses:

Be careful when you wipe off the sweat. The normal rules do not apply.

Well, they apply. But people will stare. And then they will ask you for drinks.

I post this in case I forget. I got about three steps past the Alberni Street Liquor Store when some guy offered, “Brewsi?”

I walked past.

“That’s okay,” he said. “I’m a snob, myself.”

Going Tubular in London

Boris Johnson‘s ban on open booze on London public transit has certainly brought out the best in his fellow citizens. What better way to prove that drinking on the Tube is a perfectly civilized activity and nothing that Londoners can’t handle than to Facebook a few thousand of your closest strangers and get knee-walking, vomit-comet drunk on the last night of booze-freedom?

The Guardian reports:

Police arrested 17 people and closed six London Underground stations after a party to mark the last day of legal drinking on the Tube ended in chaotic scenes.

Four train drivers and three other London Underground staff were assaulted, one police vehicle was damaged and two officers assaulted and another injured.

Witnesses said the stench of alcohol on the network was overpowering and that people were “being sick all over the place”. Drunken partygoers began fighting and vomiting as the midnight ban on drinking drew nearer.

Way to go, London! That will show them you can handle your booze.

From the BBC:

Londoner Matt Wynn, 43, a banker, said: “I’ve come along with a bottle of Champagne because I want to show that you can drink responsibly on the Tube and not cause trouble.”

But others took a different approach from the beginning.

Peter Moore, 35, a sailor from Brighton, said he had downed a can of beer in 10 seconds. “It’s sweaty on there, but I’m going round and round until I vomit,” he said…

As Saturday night wore on, eyewitnesses described how drunken partygoers began fighting and vomiting, ripping up maps and adverts, spilling alcohol and leaving debris.

British Transport Police said there was a “large amount” of instances of disorder reported.Liverpool Street underground station was closed to ease overcrowding for several hours. Other Tube stations closed by police were Euston, Euston Square, Aldgate, Gloucester Road and Baker Street.

Let’s go to YouTube for a closer look at what really happened, shall we?

remind you of anything?

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how to make a Dirty Martini REALLY dirty

Married To The Sea

Another from Married to the Sea.

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drunkblogging FTW!

Steve Jobs has no religion. Steve Jobs needs no religion. Steve Jobs IS a religion

What, exactly, does it say about me that I make more sense, using more complex syntax and a more sophisticated vocabulary, when I’m drunk than when I’m sober?

The proof:

Once I sober up from the cheap Cab Sauv, I’ll come back with something useful, but for now think of it like this:

I have both the Manual of Afghani Jihad and the Japanese Kamikaze Manual documents, and I have done a presentation around the fact that both of these put technology in a spiritual context. The central thesis of that presentation is that if Western, secular military forces had something that spiritually compelling we would have no recruiting or morale problems.Apple, for good or ill, offers that spiritual dimension, and has done so since the “do you want to sell sugar water or do you want to change the world” days.
Respect.
Related: This and this and this, too.

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