Category Archives: Entertainment

Beverly Hills Cthulhu!

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Beverly Hills Cthulhu

Beverly Hills Cthulhu

Actually, contrary to what it says over on io9, Cthulhu does not need a perky blonde sidekick. He already has me!

Jenna MacNipperson (Cameron Diaz) is a spoiled daddy’s girl on vacation in Cancun. When her island-hopping party boat runs aground on the ancient city of R’lyeh, she accidentally awakens the slumbering Cthulhu (voiced by Terry Hatcher), The Thing which cannot be described. One look at MacNipperson’s Manolo Blahniks and Cthulhu knows they will be BFF – literally, for all eternity. From Cyclopean masonry and non-Euclidean architecture to Rodeo Drive and Hollywood afterparties, the world is their oyster as these two outrageous debutantes embark on the Final Shopping Spree.

Not to be bitchy about it, but Cameron Diaz is waaaaaay too old to play a debutante! Whereas me? I’m ageless, of course, just like Cthulhu himself!

Passed along by Hez via WipeYourFeet.

In related news, silverstar has passed this lovely image along from NurseMyra’s, but I can’t post it on the blog for fear of getting Adulted again. Nobody wants to see that happen!

dances with fish

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Eat your heart out, Kevin Costner! Stolen from Defamer, here are two dancing with fish videos, American style. I believe you’ve all seen it done English style, yes? There is also (in escalating order of insanity) the Filipino fish dance, the Nigerian fish dance, Greek fish dance, Brazilian fish dance, the Nine Inch Nails Nation fish dance, and the traditional Naked Canadian fish dance.

First, robotically-enhanced animated anime figure Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show, trying and failing to perform a sexy duet with (in order) a trout (doesn’t look that old to me), a salmon (no word on if it was pink), and, in her pièce de résistance (and longtime readers will have seen this – so to speak – coming), a Squid.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Next up, a long-forgotten starlet shimmys with another cold fish in this clip from the transcendant Vixen by that Leonardo of schlock, Russ Meyers.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Violence. The word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favourite mantle still remains – sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled.

Sad Clowns

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The Sad Clown

I’m on cold medicine, stoned to the gills, so bear with me here.b Just filli in the blanks like a Choose Your Own Sad Scary Nekkid Clown ADFdventure.

black velvet sad/scary clown gallery

Clowns get naked for charity calendar

Something, John Wayne CGacy, something Emmet Kelly, something Jodie Foster no that’s too far I take the Jodie back, drag queen, xclowqn fetish, clown photbia okay, duty done I’m outta here.

Little Gordon Ramsay

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Awwwww, isn’t Little Gordon here adorable? A chip off the old blockhead! If Cthulhu and I ever had a love/hatefuck child, he’d turn out just like this, I’m sure.

You can watch all three videos over at TeenyManolo, yo.

The only video of the American Presidential race you’ll ever need to see

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Truman Capote, who knew a thing or two about the subject, once said of Marilyn Monroe that those who choose to become blonde are blonder than those who are simply born that way. Watch this video of ex-Hebridean and new American Craig Ferguson and ask if a similar principle does not apply to those who choose to become Americans:

LOVE the comment about families; I’ve been saying the same damn thing myself for decades!