quiz: which 19th Century literary heroine are you?

I thought I took this before, but couldn’t find it. And who ELSE would I be?

Greer Garson as Elizabeth Bennet

Which Early 19th Century Literary Heroine Are You?

 

You are Elizabeth Bennet from Jane Austen’s fabulous book “Pride and Prejudice.” Elizabeth is witty, vivacious, smart, funny, beautiful, and all together amazing. However, she lets her pride get in the way of several things that could make her happy. But that is canceled out by her realization of this and her subsequent humility, which makes her even more perfect.
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Operation Global Media Domination: the Flamewar Situation

Saint Mary MartiniFlamewar A seems to be dying out, but only because WordPress.com staff stepped in and stomped on it. Awwwww, how am I supposed to get a good, condescending flamewar going and develop my patented Snarky Martyr image when people are closing threads on me?

PS: I do indeed have a secret back channel to staff. I use the Support form on the dashboard or I email support. See how tricksy I am? Not everybody has those kinds of strings to pull, that’s for sure: only 1.75 million WordPress bloggers. Sheesh!

And I do not say that lightly! Sheesh! Sheesh!

Precious MomentsT’was real good for hits for awhile there. If I get any registrants for the blogging course I intend to send him/her/it a twee synthetic flower arrangement with many pink rosebuds and glitter, and a lovely Precious Moments figurine.

Flamewar B is, on the other hand, heating up nicely now that the subject of the blog post has learned to follow her trackbacks. One must be patient.

I hate to disappoint fans ) Hope you are all having fun setting the world to rights one pointless comment at a time. As i said to Rose – women in your country are REALLY being pimped. Why don’t you focus on ending that? Or is it easier to play let’s pretend online than to confront gangsters? ) x

Smilies: the unquestionable mark of a Dolores Umbridge.

I hate it when I snark about someone and they don’t even notice. It’s all good clean fun talking about people behind their backs, but nowhere near as much pure joy as the unbridled ecstasy that is making fun of them to their faces. It took her the better part of a week, but she finally caught on. Now, if only she’ll make the noob’s mistake of blogging about it and linking to us! I say it’s 60:40 she will.

Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!

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Thou shalt always kill

And thou shalt always steal and post when thou comest acrost something this good. I stole it from Bared Feet and Teeth.

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miscellaneous blogging advice I have given out recently

I'm not a blogger

  1. Faking your own death is good for hits
  2. Being exposed as a serial killer is good for hits
  3. Flamewars are great for hits
  4. If at all possible, blog nekkid. They can tell.

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camel cheese: Miss Camel beauty pageant

You didn’t think there could be more on the scintillating topic of camel cheese, didja? But there iiiiiiis! This makes the grade because it is both cameltacular and cheesy in the extreme.

BTW, doing well on Google for camel toe as well.

Those familiar with the JonBenet Ramsay case, the movie Little Miss Sunshine, or Sexually Repressed Eisenhower Maudlinism will recall that an industry exists devoted to the production and promotion of competitions of feminine beauty. Now, whether or not you believe that the best families show their daughters or their spaniels, you must admit that a beauty pageant is, if nothing else, a visually impressive and highly competitive event.

Even in Saudi Arabia.

Now, given your no-doubt intimate familiarity with the Wahabi code, you’re probably raising one, if not two or three eyebrows right now. Indeed, when I heard about the Qahtani tribe’s Mazayen al-Ibl competition, I expected it to look not unlike this:

Saudi vacation snaps

And award the winning beauty a stoning outside the city gates. But nooooooooooooo!

Instead, it looks like this:

Camel market Paul Cockrell

Yes, just as in Wiarton, Ontario the beauty queen is not Miss Wiarton but The Groundhog Queen (no, really, she is) in Guwei’iyya the most beautiful contestant is crowned Miss Camel. The only difference is, theirs more literally embodies the title noun. The Groundhog Queens of my youth (and there, surely, is a phrase you just don’t hear often enough, eh?) were really for the most part not hogs at all, nor, in the manner of small-town beauty queens, were they very grounded.

From Reuters, via the Camel’s Nose:

The legs are long, the eyes are big, the bodies curvaceous.

Contestants in this Saudi-style beauty pageant have all the features you might expect anywhere else in the world, but with one crucial difference — the competitors are camels.

This week, the Qahtani tribe of western Saudi Arabia has been welcoming entrants to its Mazayen al-Ibl competition, a parade of the “most beautiful camels” in the desolate desert region of Guwei’iyya, 120 km (75 miles) west of Riyadh.

“In Lebanon they have Miss Lebanon,” jokes Walid, moderator of the competition’s Web site. “Here we have Miss Camel…”

“Beautiful, beautiful!” the judge mutters quietly to himself, inspecting the group. Finalists have been decorated with silver bands and body covers.

“The nose should be long and droop down, that’s more beautiful,” explains Sultan al-Qahtani, one of the organizers. “The ears should stand back, and the neck should be long. The hump should be high, but slightly to the back.”

Yes, as in all beauty contests, the size and shape of the humps is critical.