LOLitics: Mannifest Destuny

Mannifest Destuny iz mannifestin

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Now, it’s not the first time the Yanks have made a move on our land. The last time they pulled this my ancestors had to go down and loot and burn the White House to discourage this kind of thing, and as we know from recent example, the gene pool has bred true.

But this time they have gone too far.

Welcome: Portraits of America, a new seven-minute film produced by Disney, will be shown in airports and embassies to woo visitors with a sanitised take on US landmarks. There are no shots of highways clogged with cars bumper to bumper. Instead, the camera pans over the wonders of the Grand Canyon, New York’s Chrysler building and the awe-inspiring power of the Niagara Falls.

But wait a minute. What falls are these? They don’t seem to resemble the Bridal Veil Falls that stand on the US side of the border. They do, however, look distinctly like the Horseshoe Falls, the immense curtain of water shrouded in mist that is the stock image of Niagara and lies almost entirely inside Canada. The annexation of a Canadian natural wonder was spotted by the news agency Associated Press.”This is an insult,” said Paul Gromosiak, an expert on the waterfalls. “This is not the US, this is 100% Canada, shot from the Canadian side.

 

We have previously had our issues with the Guardian‘s coverage of Canada, but in this case we have little to add. Very little. Except: you don’t want to piss us off again.

That’s what Portraits of Americans are like.
This is what Portraits of Canadians are like.

via Bridlepath

Swords, baybee. We have swords. What do you have? A weak military force squandered in Iraq and a couple of dozen reserves out scouring the country side for escaped weasels. Tell them to look in Congress and the Senate.

Operation Global Media Domination: Viggo Women Friends!

 Viggo

Apparently, when you do a search on CNN.com for “Viggo women friends” my blog is on the first page of the results.

Now, while we have been known to let the odd Viggo pearl drop around these parts (mostly they’re mopped up with kleenex, actually), we would like to say that as far as this goes, Viggo and I are just good friends. There is no further comment at this time.

Britney’s Sex Tape and Post Odds

The Gambler

The deal is this, although Metro doesn’t know the deal. At one time he did, but that was at least six beers ago, and now he knows nothing other than what I tell him and that includes original additions to the Cthulhu Mythos, to which he furrows his brow and goes…uh…wait…hold on…and I hand him another beer and objections are quickly forgotten.

There was also an attempt by his wife to add aliens and various other restrictions to the blog posts, but they are hereby overruled.

Anyway, the deal is that after drinking beer throughout the viewing of Two Days in the Valley, Tapeheads, and Phil the Alien, we would blog, and we would go hit-to-hit on brand, spanking new posts.

And as you know I’m all about the hits.

Okay, 2:20 in the morning is not the best time to get hits, but there are worse.

Reading his post, which he finished at great apparent effort while I answered four comments and three questions in the technical help forum, googled the image of a loser, uploaded it to Photobucket, and worked on this post, it appears that he thinks the issue is simple coherence, which any fool knows a drunk can achieve simply by imitating Hemingway.

And so I ask you to evaluate Metro’s post either in light of total hits OR in light of its ability to evoke Hemingway.

He’s got some 80’s dreck music playing, so I’ve cranked up the Mylene Farmer Megamix. Thank god for YouTube; it’s impossible to find MP3’s in this world, but you can always find YouTubes.

And since I titled this post so specifically, we can be certain that it will draw at least a finite number of readers. Deluded, misguided readers, it is true. But readers nonetheless.

Howdy, y’all!

Pony Pride

This is awesome. It is frightening. It is hilarious. But the comments on the YouTube page are the best of all: not only are her fellow pony collectors cheering her on for being “an individual” just like them, they’re trashing and multi-downvoting everyone who doesn’t believe exactly as they do. Fandom at its best, for sure.

I’ve got no particular issue with The Pony Lady here, except that the He-Man costume really isn’t doing her any favours, and she makes the word “pony” sound absolutely filthy when she says it; it’s the vicious, defensive, groupthinking, happyclownfaced community that I have a problem with. Hey, maybe they’ll comment!

Stolen from Bridlepath.

Macleans Magazine: finally newsworthy

The correction they ran, after emailing all (both?) of their subscribers with the offending article:

Macleans magazine

And the potentially offensive subject line?

“Why don’t you go f*@! yourself”

In related news, how much joy do you think it gave the Globe and Mail to run that? NOOOOooobody does po-faced intramural sniping like us Canadians.

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