UK news: how to get away with blowing up three cars in a huge fireball without being suspected of terrorism

UPDATE: see Big Bang Blogged Blindly for a full update of the REAL situation. That’s what I get for looking to the Sun for anything but tits.

It’s easy. Just look like Damien‘s little sister here:

Sarah Dean

Story from the Sun, paraphrased here to spare your virgin eyes from sight of the twisted perversions they call Journalism over the pond.

Oh, ho, ho! what a funny our little Sarah pulled! The love! Comely blonde Sarah Dean, who has a silly little job in the travel industry where she has access to passport numbers, passenger lists, flight plans, airport maps, etc, can’t afford posh transport and drives a VW, and we all know that anything lower than a Bentley is a beater, so it’s just nature’s way that the bally thing went and blew itself up [seems not] on June 29th, just one day before the discovery of the car bombs in London and two days before the SUV-based incendiary attack on Glasgow airport; why, the damn thing was in such rough shape that it erupted in what witnesses called “a fireball”[maybe they did and maybe they didn’t but it certainly doesn’t appear to have been a fireball], taking out itself completely, plus destroying the rather solidly-built Porsche sitting beside it, as well as the no-name car on the opposite side. [minor damage to the other two cars, and no explosion] Poor Sarah!

To be serious for a moment, either people with connections to the travel industry who happen to be blowing cars up in the UK are a risk or they are not. Either all such people should be investigated for connections to terrorism, or none should be. I have not the slightest idea of Sarah Dean is a hapless clerk or a terrorist mastermind, but then neither do you. Let this very weird, very peculiarily timed incident be fully investigated. Cars rarely blow up, especially German ones.

A friend of mine, not given to the wearing of tinfoil chapeaux, suggested an interesting explanation for all the virus outbreaks on cruise ships: someone was doing a dry run.

Glasgow suspect arrested

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random morbidity

Haditha

Why is it that when it’s the government that executes someone,
it is never described as “execution-style?”

Stars and Stripes

But it is called the Executive Branch.

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the Harry Potter Countdown ticker: get it for your blog

I stole it from ruhi‘s blog here, so it seems only fair that you steal it from me. If you scroll down in my blog you’ll see it in my sidebar just under the Categories list, and very nice-looking it is, too, if a bit fat for a Dusk template sidebar. Don’t ask me how you design it, I just copied the code. You do the same, and paste it into a text widget, and Dumbledore‘s your uncle!

The code:

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/

4;10742;430/st/20070721/e/HP+Book+7%21/dt/-1/k/4080/s-event.png"></a>

Now, like I said just copy that code, remove the Enter after the d/ so that that part is all one one line, stick it in a text widget, drop that into your sidebar and it’ll work for you. Note that the printing is black, which can be hard to see, like here. You can make your own customized version at www.tickerfactory.com and set whatever colour you like.

Now I shall turn my attention to supervising the Versace Twins‘ production of badges for the Harry Potter Challenge! To work, slaves!

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Harry Potter spoiler di tutti spoiler

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

So you want to know how the final book ends, do you?

Do all the people that the bloodthirsty Rowling has killed off suddenly un-die, join hands and sing “It’s a Small World After All” while Draco Malfoy converts to the Church of Dumbledoorianism, Buckbeak leads a squadron of precision hippogriffs in barrel rolls overhead, Gandalf shoots off fireworks in the shape of Godric Gryffindor‘s right butt-cheek, and Harry experiences multiple orgasms as he loses his virginity to your choice of Ginny Weasley/Hermione Granger/Severus Snape/Draco Malfoy/Fred and Ron Weasley.

No.

How does it actually end? Click here to find out, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!

By clicking on this link I assert that I am totally, totally okay with spoilers.
No, really. I mean it.

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the joke is on you

Patrick KnightHe who laughs last, laughs best? As jokes go, this one deserves a place in the history books.

Double murderer Patrick Knight (the Insane Cajun) achieved global fame over the past month for his quest to find the funniest joke in the world and tell it at his own execution. That execution happened last night, and here is the joke:

“I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That’s the biggest joke.
I deserve this.”

“And the other joke is that I am not Patrick Bryan Knight and y’all can’t stop this execution now.
Go ahead, I’m finished.”

From the AP via Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

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