head.
Toldja.
Hat tip for the tipoff to With Malice
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Category Archives: Movies
travel tips with Alan Cumming
As the dreaded holiday season approacheth, more and more of us will be taking to the skies in a desperate attempt to put in brownie point-garnering facetime with relatives whose very existence is the bane of ours. Just die already and leave me the pearls and the cottage, dammit!
Naturally, airplanes stuffed with hundreds of passengers with nothing in their future but a potentially-fatal planeride and said facetime with relatives are going to be tense environments, places where we should all be a little more considerate and take a little extra care not to offend. Especially the rentacops.
Rakish Hollywood idol Alan Cumming offers a handy tip to ensure your trip is as smooth and un-cringifying as humanly possible; as a recovering Englishman, Cumming is somewhat of an expert on the subject of embarrassment, so his wisdom is to be treasured and passed on from generation to generation, at least until men start wearing kilts again.
from AgentBedhead:
“I always think the pressure on planes gives you a hard-on,” he mused. “My friend I was just working with said that when he goes to sleep, he always puts the table out in case he gets a hard-on whilst he’s asleep. That’s a very good tip for your readers if they want to avoid embarrassment on a plane.”
Pamela Anderson: the exSQUIDit corpse
Ever wondered what she really looks like, without all the Photoshop? Gallery of the Absurd already knows…click onward to view at own risk. Continue reading
Natalie Portman wants you to marry your boyfriend (updated)
UPDATED: now that’ I’ve drunk my coffee, I see I completely misinterpreted things. All corrected!)
If Natalie Portman has ever put so much as a pinkie toe wrong since she began her career at, what, 12? I certainly never heard about it.
The accent in V for Vendetta notwithstanding.
And she doesn’t even come from some fringe Yahoos For Jesus cult: she’s a good, old-fashioned Jewish girl.
So it is with relief that we read the following quote attributed to Miss P:
“I’m not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it. … Committing yourself to one person is sacred.”
And the future Natalie Portman Broadway musical gets moved to the fast track!
what this world needs is more singing, dancing contraception
If they could somehow work jazz hands into this, it would be just about perfect.
NSFW if your boss is really, really uptight about cross-sectional illustrations of gay sex, or maybe also wooden dildos
Here, via The Manolo, is the singingest, dancingest Bollywood-fabulousest subtitlediest condom commercial you’ll ever lay eyes on. They’re like the Teletubbies of the prophylactic world!
It’s remarkable that somehow the Third World got the jump on us in this regard, but here is the proof. Surely, surely, if North Americans had condom commercials featuring Paula Abdul choreography and Celine Dion vocals, maybe throwing in some Sigfried and Roy or Zac Efron for the boys, we could eliminate unintended pregnancy overnight! Up With People and the whole celibacy movement just haven’t got the showbiz pizazz to pull it off. I mean, what can you do when Blair from Fats of Life is the best you’ve got? We need to ramp up the production values if this is ever going to work…as they said in Earth Girls are Easy, Southern California has the cosmetology equivalent of Stealth technology. The same can be said for its entertainment. What’s the first step?
First, we sign Bob Evans. Then, we wait, baby. Then we wait.
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raincoaster 