Chop-Chop

The following is, apparently, and example of something I am NOT supposed to post on my new blog. Who saw that coming?

Canadian

Decapitated kid much better now!

Hey, it takes a lot to stop a Canuck! In this case, having had his head chopped off back in July hasn’t stopped 11-year-old Ryan Ooms of Saskatoon from starting school right on time.

Ryan Ooms EMTsOoms spent just 2 1/2 weeks in a hospital where doctors fused the vertebrae and inserted titanium pins and rods. On Aug. 23, five weeks after the July 17 accident, Ooms and his family paid an unexpected visit to the firehall to thank his rescuers.”When he walked in I recognized him but there was this disbelief,” said McNair. “His recovery rate has been phenomenal.”

McNair was one of the first EMTs on the scene of the accident. He helped paramedics remove Ooms from the crushed minivan then stayed at the boy’s side in the ambulance.

Once Ooms was in the care of trauma specialists, McNair thought of the boy’s parents being told about their son.

But there was Ooms, on Aug. 23, smiling and cracking jokes and climbing on the fire trucks. The only indication of his injury was a brace hugging his wounded and tender neck, keeping it steady.

You’d better believe this kid has a patron saint (is it Nearly Headless Nick?). Yes, us Canadians are a fearsome breed, seemingly descended from the unhallowed love match of Odin and Laura Secord, with a bit of Sasquatch thrown in there for good measure. Given that decapitation has hardly slowed this Canuck down, what do you imagine it would take to stop Celine Dion?

Really, tell me. The sooner the better; I hear Mariah Carey’s offering cash.

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beavers fondled, sniffed, petted by Wetmore woman

Beaver kissing

This story has it all!

Yes, it has hairy, wet beavers, petting, scratching, groping, sniffing, jail barbers, restraints, cages, and even a bit of wrestling.

“I love that smell. Don’t you just love it? Nothing smells better to me,” says Sherri Tippie, inhaling deeply. “I was born for beavers…we’ve spent too long working against Nature…”

Truly an enlightened perspective. Part-time she trims hair in prisons, full-time she gets down and dirty with some wild hairy beavers. Some people might complain about the workload, but Tippie just can’t get enough!

Some, though, are more cautious.

“Properly managed, beavers can be a great thing,” said Eric Adams, executive director of the nonprofit and educational MacGregor Ranch near Estes Park, where Tippie has delivered the animals.

I guess he’s more into restraint.

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pic o’ the day: what not to wear to Emergency

What not to wear

via Snopes and Digg. Sure, it’s an ad, but it’s still hella funny!

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Osama bin Makeover

Osama bin Makeover

Is it October already? Quel suprise!

Much attention has been paid to the “latest” video which purports to be from Osama bin Laden. Less attention, unfortunately, has been paid to the remarkable differences in his appearance between this video and the “last” video, which was released back in July and shows bin Laden as he appeared back in, say, 2002 or so. In fact, there are no pictures up until this past week which have been identified as bin Laden post-2002.
Naturally, if you’ve been rocking the same look that long, it’s high time for a makeover. From the looks of this “latest” vid, he got one: why, the transformation is positively Swan-worthy. It’s like he’s a different man! Note in particular the Osama bin Rhinoplasty‘d, the Osama bin Browplucked, and the Osama bin Restylaned mouth and nasal folds, the whole region of which appears to be so changed that it is almost as if it belonged to another person.

Almost, eh?

The great fashion blogger (and, not coincidentally my boss) The Manolo has fisked Osama‘s new look over on Pajamas Media, and for once we at the deeply Red ol’ raincoaster blog will encourage you to click over to a site owned by the Great Right Wing Conspiracy to get some good old-fashioned belly laughs. If only Stacy and Clinton could get their hands on this boy!

In the simple phrase, we now have witnessed the arrival of “Osama bin Metrosexual”.

With the freshly dyed beard, it is obvious that here is yet another sorry example of the aging man who has resorted to the Grecian Formula SPF50 in order to stave off the ravages of time; the man for whom the grey beard is not the mark of honor and of the life well lived, but of the irretrievable loss of youth.

Trust the Manolo, Osama, this look is not working for you.

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Vacation Snaps of the Damned

We’ve seen what happens when Death takes a holiday. Now let’s check out Worth1000 and see what happens to the rest of us once he gets back to work.

Nessie attacks

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