Category Archives: Weird

It’s International Draw Mohammed Day!

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Mohammed demonstrates REAL radical Islam

Mohammed demonstrates REAL Radical Islam on Draw Mohammed Day

This would make an AWESOME tapestry, dude.

UPDATE: Facebook has taken down the Page of Draw Mohammed Day; apparently the Farmville revenue from Pakistan was worth more than their reputation as a platform for nonviolent groups to communicate. Who knew? (we all did, deep down). I’ll give five juicy Canadian dollars to the first person to do an image of Mark Zuckerberg as the Prophet Mohammed. I mean, it makes sense, right? It explains collusion, right?

Chris Crocker sez leave mohammed alone on Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

Chris Crocker sez leave mohammed alone on Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

UPDATE UPDATED: The WordPress.Com blog is still up, and holds nothing sacred (most particularly not the English language, but you don’t see Shakespeare telling Hamlet to off them, now do ya?

Update UPDATE UPDATED: I grabbed a cached version of the FB page, but it’s gibbled a bit gibbled to the point I had to delete it, sorry.

And here is an archive of images of Mohammed through history, including Islamic images of him. Is it like the Catholics and celibacy? Sometimes it’s in, sometimes the Pope has grandkids?

Yes, today is the day we stand in solidarity with terrified Danish ink addicts everywhere and scrawl out our best portraits of the Prophet Mohammed, a day born of controversy, of conflict, of (apparent) confusion. I mean…

Nihad Awad says “freedom of expression does not create an obligation to offend or to show disrespect to the religious beliefs or revered figures of others.”That is quite literally correct; it is important to note that freedom of expression does not create obligations: it creates freedoms.

Here I am exercising mine at Bunk’s invitation by posting this fine image by AdamCrazyPants (I hope I haven’t just sentenced him to death!) of a modern Mohammed, kickin’ it old skool, laying down the radical Islam. Paging Ali Eteraz…

and, last but not least, this. Because it needs to be said as often as possible to those who would interfere with our fundamental freedoms.

there’s irony in those lyrics, if the fascists of one kind or another haven’t killed it off too

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Cthulhu Sex Tape Shocker!!!

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Cthulhu finds his dream job

Appalling, yet undeniable. Even Mighty Cthulhu, devourer of souls, ravenous feaster of darkness who thrives on terror and the shrieks of the innocent, has fallen this low. I mean, crabs had to come from somewhere, amirite?

First, Cthulhu goatse photos leaked to the internet. Now, a blurry, night-vision sex tape. I ask: Can a reality show be far behind?

These black dicks are outta control!

Those aren’t snakes, boyo.

You cannot resist CTHULHU

Yeah, honey, don’t even THINK about going to the Labour Board with this. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!

Bonus: here’s a cute little tune, Hey There Cthulhu, which is a handy-dandy pronunciation guide to all the Cthulhu Mythos’ most baffling terms, in an attractive, neo-folksy package.

HEY THERE CTHULHU
(Lyrics from the Evilbore forum, but [ahem] spelling corrected; what? are you afraid of summoning Him?)
lyrics copyright © 2008 by Eben Brooks and Allison Lonsdale

Hey there Cthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.

Cthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Cthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true

(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me

Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee

So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear

(Chorus)

A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!

Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!

(Chorus)
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me

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Sami Salo’s injured testicle Speaks!

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Sami Salo is down, but his Twitter stats are up

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!

Yes, Sami Salo’s not-quite-ruptured-but-seriously-slapshotted testicle has spoken. And to me, no less! Now get your ass over to TheCelebrityIndustrialComplex at TrueSlant and read the article in which I quiz Sami Salo’s ball! It’s the first time I’ve ever interviewed a celebrity testicle. Hell, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen balls that speak for themselves!

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Why I Hate Mother’s Day

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Batman on Mother's Day

via TheDailyWhat

Amen to that, My Favorite Comic Book Hero, and don’t forget all the “heartwarming” forwarded emails with dancing bunny gifs. I always feel like responding with, “Your email was so moving, it made me cry. And remember the few years my mother and I had together before SHE WAS CRUELLY AND PAINFULLY TAKEN FROM HER CHILDREN.”

The only plus side to Mother’s Day is the perfume deals, which I managed to miss entirely this year, having spent mother’s day either in the hospital getting checked out or at home asleep. Mind you, the view was not half bad at the hospital, thanks to all the weekend rugby warriors in with sprains, etc. The one with his face split open from a kick was particularly handsome…

Okay, so I have unusual tastes. Sue me.

Adventures into Darkness, horror stories

Image via Wikipedia

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Cthulhu wants you to stay in school

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Sense and Sensibility and SeaMonsters and Regency Period Tentacle Porn

And just why does Cthulhu want you to stay in school? So you can read awesome books like Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Promotional book video below (yes, books come with videos nowadays, I guess so they can still appeal to the illiterates out there who can’t watch tv without moving their lips):

To say I was skeptical of the merits of this tome would be to understate the case to a positively perjorrific extent, and when I picked it up at the bookstore what actually ended up selling it wasn’t the book; it wasn’t even the premise, although with me anything with tentacles is a pretty safe bet.

It was the po-faced study questions in the back. I wish I had it handy, so I could type out the best bits, but here’s my absolute favorite:

10. Is Monsieur Pierre a symbol for something? Name three other well-known works of Western literature that feature orangutan valets. Are those characters also slain by pirates?

I always HATE the part in the comedy of manners when the ourangutan valet is slain by pirates. I mean, you know it’s coming, right? But what can you do about it, right? Nothing; amirite?

He also wants you to stay in school so that once it’s finished (oh, doesn’t everyone have a book they’re working on, destined to be put aside and picked up as the eons pass and never, ever finished?) you can read His autobiography, as told to Neil Gaiman.

I never knew my parents.

My father was consumed by my mother as soon as he had fertilized her and she, in her turn, was eaten by myself at my birth. That is my first memory, as it happens. Squirming my way out of my mother, the gamy taste of her still in my tentacles.

Don’t look so shocked, Whateley. I find you humans just as revolting.

Which reminds me, did they remember to feed the shoggoth? I thought I heard it gibbering.

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