Category Archives: Christmas

The Little Drummer Boy, the Gimungous Drag Queen

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I. Can’t. Believe. that I didn’t post this last year. Or the year before. Or, like, ev-ar. But this is, in my opinion, the only acceptable update of that Christmas classic The Little Drummer Boy since Bing and Bowie. It is, ladies and gentlemen and those on whom the good Lord and the rest of us reserve judgement, Ru. Fucking. Paul. and the bounciest choir of angels you’ve ever seen (even if that shepherd totally has white man’s rhythm).

From RuPaul‘s excellent blog, our thought o’ the day:

sometimes i find myself saying ‘where am i’ or ‘how do i know that person’, but more and more it’s becoming very evident that it really doesn’t matter.
all that matters is that we are here together.

Inspired by a slight difference of opinion over at TeenyManolo regarding “The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time” which list is, in my opinion, incomplete without this abomination (NSFdiabetics).

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Merry Cthristmas!

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Carol of the Old Ones
lyrics over the jump

It’s that time of year again; the time when families gather together (no, not the reading of the will!) and share what it means to celebrate Cthristmas.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen
lyrics over the jump

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken to this like Deep Ones to the ocean depths, decorating not one but four different Cthristmas trees. Which one do you like best?

Nyarlathotep, yo

The Azathoth tree

Chihuly Cthristmas tree

The Chihuly tree

Cthristmas Bonus!

The Squid tree

and the latest entry:

Cthulhu Tree

the Octophrost tree

Octophrost, in case you landlubbing types didn’t know, is the Santa of the Sea. Closely related to the Cascadian Tree Octopus, Octophrost brings all the good small fry of the ocean their presents, which he carries in a large ink sac.

Octophrost is made of snow and ice … instead of shooting out ink clouds to hide he shoots out a mini blizzard of snow, that he makes all the toys himself because he’s got eight arms, and other stuff like that.

Naturally. If Santa himself had eight arms, he’d get all that present-delivering crap over with in ten minutes, and the squalling little brats at the mall wouldn’t have a chance when they made a break for it.

Now let’s all sing some Cthristmas Carols!

[odeo= http://odeo.com/audio/3525903/view%5D

Blue Solstice
lyrics, also, over the jump

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quiz: what Christmas movie is your Christmas most like?

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Singing? I. Don’t. Think. So. The fact that I do NOT sing in public is proof that God exists and is merciful. Trust me.


Your Christmas is Most Like: The Muppet Christmas Carol


You tend to reflect on Christmas past, present, and future…

And you also do a little singing.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

THIS quiz, on the other hand, is 100% accurate, thankfully.


You Are Most Like Heidi Klum


Girl next door vibe with top model looks

Which Victoria’s Secret Angel Are You?

Microsoft kills Santa Claus, blames little girls

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Dead Santa!

Typical!

In a bid to take over where the Post Office leaves off (North Pole, postal code H0H 0H0) Microsoft this year introduced a Santa Claus MSN bot, for kids who, presumably, have better things to do that wait in line at the mall to talk to Santa.

Then they killed Santa.

From The Register:

Here’s the whopper that Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn told AP: “It’s not like if you say, ‘Hello Santa’, he’s going to throw inappropriate stuff at you.”

Drunk SantaErm, yes it is, Adam. It’s pretty much exactly like that. When we innocently asked him to eat something, Santa said: “It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else.”

The slapdash job Microsoft did on the supposedly festive chat agent was revealed when Reg reader Iain’s nieces offered Santa some pizza. According to Microsoft the girls were “pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn’t supposed to do”.

Yep, Santabot was taken out behind the sled and shot faster than you can say “Old Yeller.”

Well, you can leave him cookies and milk if you insist, but it’s clear to astute readers what Santa really wants this year!

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Santa’s Pants, by the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

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At last someone has come up with a musical answer to the mystery of how Santa actually gets all those presents to all those good little boys and girls on time and without exploding in a fatal fireball due to the friction of the atmosphere at high speeds.

Transcript coming up in a day or so. I’m not a speedy typist,and my success on translating their Bohemian Rhapsody was mixed, at best.

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