Operation Global Media Domination: The Sleep-Deprived Situation

Because it is late/early and I have been up for 30 straight hours and I am somewhat punchy (and, you might have noticed, somewhat crabby lately), I am going to do a lightning round of Operation Global Media Domination.

Look at the searches that brought people to my blog! Mother would be so proud:

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search Views
my first cthulhu 1 More stats
what does a classy whore look like 1 More stats
ovaltine shirts 1 More stats
britney spears handwriting 1 More stats
goatse 1 More stats
fairy 1 More stats

Yesterday

Search Views
fairy 85 More stats
britney sex tape 62 More stats
cthulhu 41 More stats
britney spears sex tape sex tape 28 More stats
audrey hepburn 27 More stats
steve jobs 20 More stats
christian bale remix 14 More stats
siegfried and roy 14 More stats
winona ryder sex 12 More stats
porn slideshow 12

And, yay, I got in the Vancouver Sun’s Digital Life blog with Fearless City. A couple of times, actually, but I’m too lazy/tired to find the Wordcamp Whistler entry. Oh, here I am; wow, even I am impressed my self-promotional instincts outrank my instinct for sleep right now.

The Decline and Fall in 140 Characters

Have you seen Twitter recently? It ain’t what it used to be, I can tell you that! Not since they let in the Great Unwashed! Why, back in my day we had to type uphill both ways in the snow!

Now, thanks to the magic which is Historical Tweets, you too can enjoy the tweets of some of the greatest historical figures of all time, captured here for posterity’s sake, Twitter’s 3000 tweet archive limit be damned!

Some examples:

Martin Luther King:

Martin Luther King's I have a tweet

Sacagawea:

Sacajawea sez

Harriet Tubman:

Wifi sucks underground

And lastly, some dude from Italy. Now THAT is what you call a flamewar!

That is what you call a flamewar!

everything you wanted to know about Canada but were afraid to ask

Yep, that’s pretty much exactly it: everything you wanted to know about Canada but were afraid to ask, delivered by the funniest man Canada has ever produced, Rick Mercer.

Any questions?

Why Twitter Exists

Twitterfail

There is, among the non-Twitterati, a certain degree of pragmatic skepticism about how entertaining, how powerful, even how meaningful a communications device limited to 140 characters of text can be. While all the world knows that Twitter was intended to serve as a medium for communicating status updates (“Posting to Twitter.” “Posting to Twitter again.” “Here I am, back on Twitter, updating my status.”) digital sophisticates have long since bent the humble microblogging platform to their will.

Haiku. Affirmations. Contests. Flirtations. Ostentatiously-posted quotations from authors chosen more for their literary cachet than their intellectual merit, not that I’m thinking of anyone in particular (Byron, I’m looking at you).

And this, from baffled:

Six Word Story:

If I should die before I

Tea Parties of the Damned!

Sharky Tea Infuser

Here is another in the growing collection of designer housewares from the House of Nyarlathotep. Sure to be popular with all the Australians on your list, this dandy little item is most compelling when dispersing fragrant, uncaffeinated, nutritious hibiscus tea.

Note the beautiful and oh-so-fitting colour trails.

We’ve obtained an exclusive interview with Tea Master Qin-T, of the House of Nyarlathotep, and here’s what he has to say about his innovative and stylish creation:

Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll brew this cuppa for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad tea. The Agony of the Leaves. Not like going down the parlour brewin’ Earl Grey and Orange Pekoe. This tea, you swallow whole. Little shakin’, little slurpin’, an’ down it go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your Vitamin C levels, put all your electrolytes on a metabolically balanced basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my alkalinity a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll brew it for three, but I’ll add lemon, and I’ll add honey, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay healthy, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on Nestea the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many confirmed bachelors on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the buds, the leaves, the whole damn thing.