Star Trek Nerdgasm: Kirk, Spock and Bones 2.0 cast?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, nerds and nerdettes, and geeks of … well, geeks are genderless:

we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have an announcement to make. We know who will play Kirk, Spock and McCoy in the new Star Trek XI film.

 Captain James T. Damon

It’s. Matt. Damon. As. Captain. James. Tiberius. Kirk.

Leiutenant Brody, Second in command

Naturally, Adrian Brody is the logical choice for Mr. Spock of Vulcan, a man with far too much innate dignity to allow himself to be referred to by a euphemism for a bathroom function.

I’m Doctor Sinise, not a necrophiliac!

“Dammit, Jim, I’m Gary Sinese, not a necrophiliac with a badge!”

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rocketman, and no, not the William Shatner version

The Yves Rossy version. Yes, it’s the Icarus of Switzerland on video!

Stole this from Dale, who stole it from Defence Tech, which is the kind of trash he reads at the hairdresser’s, just to give you an idea what his life is like. You’d think the boy would learn from me and raise his standards, but noooooooooo.

I’m tired of putting videos over the jump. Nobody EVER watches them that way. Dialup users, you’ve annoyed me one too many times; payback’s a bitch!

and here’s some text from his site explaining exactly what’s going on, as if you couldn’t tell by the above video of a small man with a jet-propelled, winged strap-on  jumping out of an airplane.

…the aerodynamic wings were improved and their span was increased to 3 meters. As of 2004 and because there was a loss of rigidity due to the inflatable side of the wings, Yves had to stop his collaboration with “Prospective Concepts” and work only with “ACT Composites” who then created foldable carbon wings, able to be used from a Pilatus Porter plane.
Finally, at 7:30pm on June 24th, 2004 and after the 3rd trial of the day (6th motorized trial), Yves finally dropped out of the Pilatus at an altitude of 4000m over the Yverdon airfield. Before pulling on the little lever that controls the opening of his wings, Yves lets himself glide for a couple seconds and at the altitude of 2500m, he starts the ignition of the engines and waits 30 seconds for them to stabilize. Once they are steady, he can finally speed up the engines and suddenly the dream comes true… He manages a horizontal flight at 1600m from the ground for more than 4 minutes, at a speed of 100 knots, in formation with the Pilatus!

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Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme performing Black Hole Sun

Steve! Eydie! Soundgarden!

Yes, really. Here is the immortal Vegas lounge duo Steve and Eydie putting their silken throats to that heroin-laced grunge classic Black Hole Sun, from the album Loungeapalooza. And this time no chipmunk effects. Lyrics over the jump.

And by the way, Eydie‘s got a blog.

Loungeapalooza, baby!

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death poetry jam: fired from Apple for laying it down hardcore on the Canadian FedEx lady

Actually, all the FedEx ladies I know but one are gay. But Canadian FedEx ladies, gay, straight, or undecided Guatemalan poncho-clad and living off the Drive, are cool; this is not in dispute.

I knew one woman who worked with FedEx not because they had a great partner benefits program, which I believe they did, nor because the pay was good, which I believe it was, nor because the hours were flexible and suited her, which I believe they did, but rather because, on every cargo flight, there is an extra jumpseat in the cockpit which is available to FedEx employees who may wish to fly to, say, Bali, say, every Friday afternoon and return, oh, say every Monday morning, having surfed and parties the entire time, speaking hypothetically, of course.

Which reminds me to get my damn application in to FedEx. They need bloggers, right? Oh, totally.

In any case, here is the sad, yet amusing and Schadenfreude-laden tale of the star of Apple‘s local talent show, who allegedly-and-apparently got his butt fired for the following, talent-show-rocking, American Idol-worthy performance of, his ode to the Canadian FedEx lady.

Rhyme different?

And yes, they do indeed all have huge, anime eyes, the colour of Hudson’s Bay, Algonquin Park in October, Alberta sweetgrass, or the ice at the hidden heart of a Baffin Island glacier. Video over the jump.

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the search for meaning is itself meaningless…but I’m okay with that.

TIAGod himself only knows how it was that a poor, overworked and obviously demented search engine, perhaps tired of finding the answers to only the most meaningless questions, reached out with the fragile query “Church etiquette for teenagers” and came up with my blog.

Other search engine items that led here:

and the immortal

Let it not be said that we at the ol’ raincoaster blog fail to come through for you, however righteous, gastrically distressed, scientifically curious, or obscene you may be.

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