Category Archives: Humour

the Blogosphere works in mysterious ways

Posted on by
TIA

Operation Global Media Domination

Indeed, no sooner had I cried to the heavens with wailing and the rending of garments (well, they were slightly torn already, but surely that counts? Like, God wouldn’t be picky about placement in linear time, would he? Ya think a deity doesn’t have better things to do than fart around with continuity details? Puh-leez!) about the loss of my paid gig than the clouds parted (probably accompanied by the Red Sea, but I can’t tell from here…anybody got Google Earth?) the angels sang (NIN’s Year Zero actually; it was lovely) and the mysterious Manolo handed me a sweet and juicy gig that’s probably ultimately going to pay better, take less time, and definitely means I don’t have to read Gizmodo anymore.

It’s a scary, only-virtually hedonistic place in there, Gizmodo: the kind of Xanadu that a Zeta Male imagines is heaven…imagines from the comfort of a Barcalounger in his mom’s basement. IE his mom’s basement, but with more stuff!

Anyway, I lost a job and, true to form, I whined. I mean, if I hadn’t whined you’d have had grounds to send in a missing person’s report, as I’d obviously have been abducted and replaced with some sort of replicant. Some pray, I whine. What can I say? The payout rate is better when I do it my way.

Fun blogging to re-commence in 24 minus n hours!

Which reminds me: for some reason I thought there was an underwear hook on this post…if it re-occurs to me, I’ll make an underwear-related post to explain. Gawd knows what it was, only it had something to do with doctors and Amy Winehouse.

How to make tennis interesting

Posted on by

Like this!

Married To The Sea

Married To The Sea on making tennis more interesting

Cthulhu Porn!

Posted on by

For some things, my friends, there are no words. The soulless perversions, both polymorphous and (shockingly) amorphous, of the cosmic aberration which is Cthulhu know bondage neither in space nor in time, nor in any other dimension either dreamed or measured.

Here, my friends, is proof. Cover your eyes and turn away, rather than click on and be damned.

Here be dragons.

Here be Cthulhu Goatse: Continue reading →

Bye-Bye Bozo!

Posted on by

Another rival to the clown crown falls to “natural causes.” So-called “natural causes.”

Larry Harmon as Bozo the Clown

Larry Harmon as Bozo the Clown

“I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet,
(people) would never be able to forget those footprints,” he said.

Yes, one of the most prominent clowns in history, Larry Harmon, has died. Harmon, who played Bozo the Clown for most of the latter part of the Twentieth Century and could plausibly said to have been the first person of any description to clone a clown, is only the most recent in a string of mysterious clown deaths.

Larry Harmon, dead at 83.

Marcel Marceau, dead at 84.

Red Skelton, dead at 84.

Nicolai Poliakoff OBE, dead at 74.

Achille Zavatta, dead at 78.

One by one, the most prominent clowns in the world have been picked off, most succumbing to the blandly ubiquitous “natural causes,” and none living much past their 84th birthday.

The world shrugs, sighs, says “these things happen,” ah yes, but why do they always seem to happen to the rivals of one man? One man who is known to associate with hardened criminals. One man who has at his fingertips the very substances of which a heart attack is made?

One man, ladies and gentlemen. One man named Ronald McDonald.

Step Away From The Keyboard

Posted on by

Married To The Sea