Category Archives: Operation Global Media Domination

Just what it sounds like. My quest to conquer the global media and take over the world. Maybe I can get my library fines cancelled…what can I say? It’s a last-ditch effort.

Operation Global Media Domination: Technorati: for when your life just isn’t random enough

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TIASeriously.

Seriously.

This has gone far enough.

So I was teaching a blogging class on Saturday, and we were talking about blog promotion and linking and, naturally, I showed them Technorati. And, naturally, I checked this blog on Technorati.

As one does.

And it had gone up by a couple of hundred places, after having been dreadfully stagnant for a few weeks.

And there was much rejoicing.

And I happened to check it earlier today as well. Just because. I sometimes enjoy checking Technorati. It’s healthy. It’s what normal people do. It’s not obsessive at all.

And I had lost three thousand, two hundred places.

And there was a darkness over the face of the sun, and the gnashing of teeth.

And I happened to check Technorati again two hours later. It’s normal. It’s healthy. We covered this, okay?

And I had gone up four thousand, nine hundred places.

Celebrity Gossip: the roundup!

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Garbo

Because I have so many blogs, and because I am yea, very easily confused, forsooth, I wrote a post for Ayyyy.com which place does, in fact and in actuality, pay me to read gossip blogs (NOT kidding. Life is a cabaret, old chum) and say “go look at that…now go look at this…now look at that” etc.

Yes, I am getting paid to read gossip blogs.

My sister is going to eat her lips when she reads that.

In any case, here’s the post that was going to put food on my table this month, until I remembered that I’m only supposed to do this during the week. And it’s the weekend. And I thought, bugger it, I can at least feed the ol’ raincoaster blog with it.

Mindy McCready behind bars, not under them this time (PerezHilton)

Viggo Mortensen‘s computer-enhanced nude scene (Agent Bedhead)

Alyssa Milano: Who’s the Sportsblogger? (Daily Stab)

The Celebrity Cover Corral (Celebrity Smack)

Katie Holmes is no Richard Avedon (I’m Not Obsessed)

OJ Simpson is looking for the real burglars (Holy Candy)

Christina Aguilera visited by the Titty Fairy (Wizbang Pop)

Carmen Electra bringing the respectable back? (Hollywood Tuna)

Angelina Jolie rocks the Mother of the Bride look (Just Jared)

Lindsay Lohan is delusional (and easy) (A Socialite’s Life)

Colin Farrell‘s homeless shopping spree (Defamer)

Ryan Gosling loves his costar (Jezebel)

Larry Birkhead‘s graveside photo-op (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse before the wine (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul has something you don’t…besides memories of sex with Emilio Estevez (Evil Beet)

Prince is suing…YOU! (CeleBitchy)

Well, this should be good for hits.

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Operation Global Media Domination: the Flamewar Situation

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Saint Mary MartiniFlamewar A seems to be dying out, but only because WordPress.com staff stepped in and stomped on it. Awwwww, how am I supposed to get a good, condescending flamewar going and develop my patented Snarky Martyr image when people are closing threads on me?

PS: I do indeed have a secret back channel to staff. I use the Support form on the dashboard or I email support. See how tricksy I am? Not everybody has those kinds of strings to pull, that’s for sure: only 1.75 million WordPress bloggers. Sheesh!

And I do not say that lightly! Sheesh! Sheesh!

Precious MomentsT’was real good for hits for awhile there. If I get any registrants for the blogging course I intend to send him/her/it a twee synthetic flower arrangement with many pink rosebuds and glitter, and a lovely Precious Moments figurine.

Flamewar B is, on the other hand, heating up nicely now that the subject of the blog post has learned to follow her trackbacks. One must be patient.

I hate to disappoint fans ) Hope you are all having fun setting the world to rights one pointless comment at a time. As i said to Rose – women in your country are REALLY being pimped. Why don’t you focus on ending that? Or is it easier to play let’s pretend online than to confront gangsters? ) x

Smilies: the unquestionable mark of a Dolores Umbridge.

I hate it when I snark about someone and they don’t even notice. It’s all good clean fun talking about people behind their backs, but nowhere near as much pure joy as the unbridled ecstasy that is making fun of them to their faces. It took her the better part of a week, but she finally caught on. Now, if only she’ll make the noob’s mistake of blogging about it and linking to us! I say it’s 60:40 she will.

Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!

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quiz: which Internet Celebrity are you?

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Technosailor has designed a clever quiz to suss out your inner Internet Celebrity (via Matt). To be honest, only technology or marketing geeks, or those in close contact with them, will recognize these people. The tech geekosphere is largely a closed system, and it would upset the delicate equilibrium of the open-plan terrarium were we to tap on the glass too aggressively. Let’s face it: raincoaster should be a possible outcome, along with MadV, Mahir, Tionna, Pearl the Landlady, PeterPan, and the Chocolate Rain guy.

Nonetheless, if I have to be a geek, there are worse geeks to be. This one’s almost too nice, and so’s his wife. I’m not actually very much like Chris Pirillo, but I could easily see myself as his evil twin.

Chris Pirillo

You are most like Chris Pirillo!

You are most like Chris Pirillo. You dominate your brand and do quite well in marketing it. However, you go out of the way to place the focus on other people as much as possible as a decision on power and authority. You may have many followers, readers or fans but you rarely let this distract you from your mission and focus.

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miscellaneous blogging advice I have given out recently

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I'm not a blogger

  1. Faking your own death is good for hits
  2. Being exposed as a serial killer is good for hits
  3. Flamewars are great for hits
  4. If at all possible, blog nekkid. They can tell.

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