Yes, I’ve done it before and I may do it again. I just decided the time was ripe (overripe, in fact) to post a picture of my boobs to my blog. So here they are. Yes, they’re real, and they’re spectacular!
Memo of the Day: Toilet Wars
Or should that be “Loo Wars?” I dunno, “Loo Wars” kinda sounds like a 1920’s bisexual movie star, probably one that took the virginity of both Ginger Rogers and David Bowie later in life. In fact, “Loo Wars” sounds rather awesome, now that I think of it. I should pitch a biography of this fabulous, imaginary person. BRB, writing proposal…
Okay, back. Where was I? Oh yes, posting about toilets once again. I KNOW I’m supposed to call them “Washrooms” like the way the news refers to “Afghanistan” when what they mean is Tarok Kolache. But they’re toilets, specifically the things you sit on. And here are two memos from Ye Olde Englande where, it seems, standards (and colons) have relaxed considerably in recent times.
Why is it always the men’s room? Except at Metrotown (whereof we will not speak…)?
The first, from the Grauniad, venerated temple of lefty journalism:
Subject: Gentlemen of the Guardian and Observer, we must buck up!
A plea on behalf of the cleaners and your fellow staff…
In the event that you are, ahem, inconvenienced when visiting the toilets, please use the brush handily situated at the side of the toilet to clean the bowl after yourself, rather than leaving the bowl – and in one case on the second floor toilets – the seat covered with evidence of your visit for the next occupant of the stall to behold.
Surely no one would leave a toilet in that state at home, would they?
And a happy new year to all.
And the second, from Endemol, whose website is a masterwork of corporate gobbledygook (building franchises and extending them into new consumer experiences etc) but whose memo is admirably direct, vivid, amusing, and (doubtless) effective:
A toilet memo for the ages: "You fucking animals" is the new "You dirty rats"
via Popbitch, the rest of whose stories today involve absolutely nobody of whom I have ever heard except Adam Ant. If you want to feel like you’re far away from anywhere a language you speak is spoken, read British sports, celebrity, and music journalism. Impenetrable, I’m telling you; some day I’ll do a rant just on British sports writing, but that rant is not today. My doctor says only one rant per day until the 28th, then it’s back to free-flowing bile 24/7 as usual.
Harry Potter on the Bible
Oh dear, looks like somebody’s mad enough to curdle butterbeer!
- Harry Potter will kick Judas’ ass
From JarOfHearts:
JUDAS WAS HIS FRIEND
AND HE BETRAYED HIM
HE
WAS
HIS
FRIEND
Oh dear. This will not end well.
Let’s change the subject, shall we? Howabout something nice and fluffy, like some gossip links? Wouldn’t that be nice? Sure it would:
Backstage with Dali (raincoaster)
Fresh Heiress (Ayyyy)
Who’s the Boss? (ManoloFood)
Don Draper, Math Man (Lolebrity)
The first step is admitting you have a problem, Gwyneth (AgentBedhead)
Jack Sparrow to fly again (BusyBeeBlogger)
Your annual Taylor Swift post-breakup “learning experience” post (CeleBitchy)
Boy takes Backstreet to Rehab (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Christina Hendricks, nudie Juggalo? (CelebritySmack)
Snowman of the damned (CityRag)
Imminent arrival puts crimp in Kate Hudson’s dating game (DailyStab)
Rachel Zoe repurposes (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Justin Bieber is allergic to stunt casting (HaveUHeard)
Too much macho in one photo (INeedMyFix)
Oprah cheeses out (PopBytes)
Yet another legacy model zones out (TheSkinny)
There, all better.
Backstage with Dali
Dali and flying cats by philippe halsman
Oh, it looks easy (okay, it looks impossible) but the amount of work this shot actually took is truly mind-boggling, most particularly when you realize there were cats involved. Yes, cats: Chihuahuas in alter form, fanged knick-knacks, short-tempered, incontinent attention sinkholes (huh, maybe they`re Mickey Rourke in alter form) in the shape of naked mole rats. Evil to the core.
It`s amazing to me nobody was killed during the shoot.
Dali and flying cats takes one through six. DUCK!
Then, undoubtedly, he killed the secretary and made her into a light fixture for a dinner party with the Duchess of Windsor. And the cats, too.
And now, speaking of viciousness and fanged, clawed, and bad-tempered things, let`s get to some gossip links:
The Julian Assange coloring book (raincoaster)
It! Is! Time! (Ayyyy)
King of the Road (Manolofood)
Chuck Norris fears this man (Lolebrity)
Interview with raincoaster (SurveyMagnet)
Beastie Boys beat 2010 (AgentBedhead)
Owen Wilson…daddy? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Demi Lovato morphing into Demi Moore? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Natalie Portman is a cannibal! (CeleBitchy)
Hold it against Britney (CelebritySmack)
Michael Douglas has left Tumortown (DailyStab)
Famous people: VERY different from you and me (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Natalie Portman in World’s Ugliest Maternity Dress (HaveUHeard)
Sandra Bullock simultaneously beats Jesse James AND ScarJo (INeedMyFix)
The verdict on holding it against Britney (PoorBritney)
Who invited TomKat? (PopBytes)
Mila Kunis gets real about weight (TheSkinny)
Empress Gaga? President Gaga? (EvilBeet)
Victoria Beckham to switch to flats in 6 months or so (GabbyBabble)
Trailer parks of the world wild for Bieber, apparently (FitFabCeleb)
Sy-Phillis! Cloris Leachman`s talent is contagious! (Movieline)
Operation Global Media Domination: The SurveyMagnet Edition
Scientia est Potentia
Well, it’s been a bang-up start to the weekend what with all the pointless internet drama and all. There may only be three commenters, but they’re refreshing their screens like maniacs to see if I’ve replied yet. Well, if McDonalds can say “it’s all parts” I guess I can reconcile myself to “it’s all pageviews” but it’s still rather lowering the standard around here. At least the Albanian trolls were fun.
But this isn’t a post about that! Oh no! No indeedy! It is a post about my interview going live on SurveyMagnet. This was originally scheduled for weeks and weeks ago, but a two month medical leave rather puts a crimp in such self-promotional activities. Anyway, the interview is up, and I’m happy to promote it here, particularly because it’s all about Lolebrity, a blog I’m trying to pimp out to a positively JonBenet-ian level.
A snippet:
4) What is the craziest/most interesting exchange you’ve seen in your blog comments and why?
Well, there are very few comments on Lolebrity, except for the pervs looking for more Miley Cyrus boobs, but on another of my sites I did once get into a flamewar with the nation of Albania, and when it comes to the dialogue on the existence of fairies in Devonshire, well, I’ve got a corner on the market, with over 2000 comments on that particular raincoaster.com post.
Well, what are you still doing here? Go over there and read the damn thing; how am I supposed to get famous if you don’t? Eh?
raincoaster 