Category Archives: Dating

Mylene Farmer: Que Mon Coeur Lâche

Posted on by

We haven’t had a good Youtube in quite some time (days), nor a good Mylene Farmer youtube in even longer, so here’s a nice little AIDs allegorical one (which should, incidentally, put me back on the top of the WP.com Allegory tag page) called Que Mon Coeur Lâche, and which dates from the days in which she was young and pretty and had unfortunate haircuts, ie 1992, as you will see:

And, incidentally, if this doesn’t get me back on the Michael Jackson Haterfan Juggernaut, nothing will.

French:

Bien trop brutal

L’amalgame

La dance des corps

L’amour à mort

Amour poison

Collision

La peur s’abat

Sur nos ébats

Toi entre nous

Caoutchouc

Tu t’insinues

Dans nos amours

C’est pas facile

Le plaisir

Apprivoiser

Ton corps glacé

Quel mauvais ange

Se dérange

Pour crucifier

Mes libertés

Moi pauvre diable

J’ai si mal

Vertige d’amour,

amour blessé

Que mon coeur lâche

Mes rêves

d’amours excentriques

N’ont plus leur strass

Mon stress

d’amour est si triste

Que mon coeur lâche

Mais fais-moi mal

Abuse des liens et des lys

Les temps sont lâches

L’amour a mal

Les temps sont amour plastique

Estelle, Rennes, France

English:

QUE MON COEUR LACHE (MY HEART GIVES UP)
Translation by Paradox

[Some parts of ‘Que mon coeur lache’ are missing in the english version ‘My soul is slashed’, so …]
Too much brutal
the mixing
the dance of bodies
the death of love

poisonous love
collision
the fear beats down
on our frolic

You between us
rubber
you seep into
our intercourse

It’s not easy
the pleasure
to tame your iced body

My heart gives up
my dreams of kinky love
do not have paste anymore
my stress about love
is so sad
My heart gives up
please harm me
misuse of bonds and lilies
times are loose
love is in pain
times are plastic love

what nasty angel
came up to crucify my liberties
Me, poor devil
It hurts so much
love fever, hurt love

and another thing

Posted on by

I saw this embroidered Marilyn Monroe quote done by Rosie Geissler on TheDailyWhat and decided it went perfectly with my Mylene Farmer post from yesterday. Monroe was never the most independent of women, but after a very rocky youth, she did develop a strong sense of self and in her maturity if she chose to be dependent on men, well, it was her choice to make.

Marilyn Monroe would have embroidered more neatly

Goodbye Norma Jean, we never knew you embroidered at all

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Cthulhu Sex Tape Shocker!!!

Posted on by

Cthulhu finds his dream job

Appalling, yet undeniable. Even Mighty Cthulhu, devourer of souls, ravenous feaster of darkness who thrives on terror and the shrieks of the innocent, has fallen this low. I mean, crabs had to come from somewhere, amirite?

First, Cthulhu goatse photos leaked to the internet. Now, a blurry, night-vision sex tape. I ask: Can a reality show be far behind?

These black dicks are outta control!

Those aren’t snakes, boyo.

You cannot resist CTHULHU

Yeah, honey, don’t even THINK about going to the Labour Board with this. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!

Bonus: here’s a cute little tune, Hey There Cthulhu, which is a handy-dandy pronunciation guide to all the Cthulhu Mythos’ most baffling terms, in an attractive, neo-folksy package.

HEY THERE CTHULHU
(Lyrics from the Evilbore forum, but [ahem] spelling corrected; what? are you afraid of summoning Him?)
lyrics copyright © 2008 by Eben Brooks and Allison Lonsdale

Hey there Cthulhu down there in your sunken city
You’re a billion light-years distant and the stars look very pretty
From R’lyeh
So close and yet so far away. Ia Iay.

Cthulhu fuh-TAH-gun, or is that Cthulhu fuh-TINE?
I can never quite remember ’cause I’m not in my right minds
Since I met you
No one corrupts the way you do. You know it’s true

(Chorus)
Oh, it’s what you’ll do to me
Oh, and all humanity
Oh, you’ll rise up from the sea
Oh, kill everyone slowly
Except the one’s like me

Hey there Cthulhu, I’ve been studying your gospel
The Necronomicon, it gives me nightmares something awful
Where I see
The death of all reality. It fills me with glee

So when the stars are right, you’ll come and do your worst
But that’s okay because I know you’ll eat the cultists like me first
When you get here
I know that day is drawing near. I have no fear

(Chorus)

A billion light-years seems so far
Below the sea, beyond the stars
Of these humans’ putrid souls you’ll drink your fill
The fools will all make fun of me
But I’ll just laugh maniacally
‘Cause no one’s ever suffered like they will
Chthulhu, I can promise you
That by the time this cult gets through
The world will never ever be the same!
Praise your dark name!

Phn’glui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn
Boy, that’s really quite a mouthful, can’t quite cram it in my noggin
Not today
I try to say it anyway
I feel my soul being to fray
Still I await that frabjous day
Cthulhu calay!

(Chorus)
Oh, kill everyone but me
Everyone but me

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Cthulhu wants you to stay in school

Posted on by

Sense and Sensibility and SeaMonsters and Regency Period Tentacle Porn

And just why does Cthulhu want you to stay in school? So you can read awesome books like Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Promotional book video below (yes, books come with videos nowadays, I guess so they can still appeal to the illiterates out there who can’t watch tv without moving their lips):

To say I was skeptical of the merits of this tome would be to understate the case to a positively perjorrific extent, and when I picked it up at the bookstore what actually ended up selling it wasn’t the book; it wasn’t even the premise, although with me anything with tentacles is a pretty safe bet.

It was the po-faced study questions in the back. I wish I had it handy, so I could type out the best bits, but here’s my absolute favorite:

10. Is Monsieur Pierre a symbol for something? Name three other well-known works of Western literature that feature orangutan valets. Are those characters also slain by pirates?

I always HATE the part in the comedy of manners when the ourangutan valet is slain by pirates. I mean, you know it’s coming, right? But what can you do about it, right? Nothing; amirite?

He also wants you to stay in school so that once it’s finished (oh, doesn’t everyone have a book they’re working on, destined to be put aside and picked up as the eons pass and never, ever finished?) you can read His autobiography, as told to Neil Gaiman.

I never knew my parents.

My father was consumed by my mother as soon as he had fertilized her and she, in her turn, was eaten by myself at my birth. That is my first memory, as it happens. Squirming my way out of my mother, the gamy taste of her still in my tentacles.

Don’t look so shocked, Whateley. I find you humans just as revolting.

Which reminds me, did they remember to feed the shoggoth? I thought I heard it gibbering.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

I am still hungover, so here is an antique dancing pig movie

Posted on by

via filledwithchocolatepudding

Enjoy?if you can. Watch to the very end to be completely freaked the fuck right out. I mean, a lecherous pig dancing with a flirtatious maiden is one thing; an expressive lecherous pig who dances with a flirtatious maiden is quite another.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine