Category Archives: Dating

The Lord of the Ring

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Steve Jobs, Ringmaster

Steve Jobs, Ringmaster

Today in My Imaginary Boyfriend News (well, actually last week in My Imaginary Boyfriend News, but things are always complicated chez Operation Global Media Domination HQ) Gawker reports that Steve Jobs made his stage appearance at … who gives a rat’s ass what it was, like I can afford anything he previewed anyway!

At something…

Without his wedding ring.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, quibble if you must; deny; harangue; make ridiculous claims like “he’s lost a  lot of weight and probably just took it to get re-sized”. Tell yourself whatever lies you need to let you sleep at night.

I KNOW.

At last, I’m one step closer to getting a free Macbook!

raincoaster, caught on film!

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Contrary to the rumours going around, I do in fact register on film and even show up in mirrors from time to time, though never for very long, lest I shatter the glass. I learned my lesson from that portrait session; replacing lenses is pricey!

So her is a shot of me and my pal Uni Corn at Workspace (RIP), just to prove that not only can we both be caught on film, but also nuts to all the people who say I no longer qualify for hanging out with unicorns, so there nyeah. I am a Charter Member of the Royal Society of Unicorn Watchers, I’ll have you know.

Uni Corn and me

He says: “Web Cafes are a great place to pick up chicks” and we all know that chicks love a unicorn!

We are currently in discussions to form an alliance against the Meerkat Conspiracy. Will keep you informed! A coalition of unicorns, fairies, and raincoaster’s army would be insurmountable!

So to speak.

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Romance in the 21St Century

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Here is the chanteuse of the century:

and here is the quote of the century:

In lieu of the “It’s Complicated” relationship status,
Facebook should go with “It’s Devastating.”

11:05 PM Jun 8th from web
evilbeet

Love is a Losing Game

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed… profound
Till the chips were down
…know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I’m rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

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quiz: which aphrodisiac are you?

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Yes, it’s blog filler. No, we’re not proud. You should know that by now.

We ARE, however, self-promotional, so this is the perfect time to remind you all that the Crime Pays party on Monday will feature an auction of Vangroover‘s finest hotties of all sexes, plus a poetry brothel! Come on, bid! When was the last time you had a chance to win a date with a legendary (well, actually fictional) character among others? Eh? Answer me that!


You Are Wine


You are very naturally sexy and inviting. You don’t have to try too hard.

The longer people spend time with you, the more drawn in they become.

You believe that seduction shouldn’t be rushed, you like to savor every moment.

Going too fast kills the excitement. You like to indulge all of your senses.

Why Online Dating Never Works Out

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Because this is where it starts, people. And it doesn’t get any prettier from there.

On the plus side, he does say you can still fuck other guys when you’re dating him. Because…well…you’d probably prefer to.